Can I take a sibling to a child’s birthday party

Ok let’s agree to disagree.

I would never reject a child unless I physically couldn’t fit them in. Extra siblings are always welcome to my party and in my home, invited or not. Pre warned or not. I live in a community where most parents are the same and I am glad for it. I will never call anyone a CF for bringing a sibling - they are not there out of choice. There are easier ways to entertain kids. I put at the bottom of invites to let me know if bringing siblings so I make them an extra party bag.

I always ask a parent if I need to bring another to a party, and would of course pay for them.

And no- I am quite certain that most parents would rather be anywhere else than in a room of loud children. I have never been to a child’s party for my own joy and wellbeing - nor would I choose to bring additional children out of choice - leaving them with their father is infinitely preferable 😂.

OP a should bring the babe, and could message about the other kids. Any response other than sure bring them along would be from a less than pleasant person though in my opinion.

The etiquette is to get other parents to supervise until they are at an age you can drop off and collect without staying.

I am glad it's not the same here.

Of course they are CF, they expect their child to be involved in a party that has nothing to do with them, that someone else has organised and pay for!

Let's not be hypocritical, we don't bring our children to birthday parties as a favour to the birthday child - unless they are an absolute nightmare and it's our good deed of the day -but parties are a great entertainment for your own child.

I am glad we have better than shit noisy party, kids have fun, and parents can sit down with a coffee for a couple of hours. There are worst ways to spend time with your kids.

That you felt they couldn’t go. If that’s what you chose to do then good for you, but if it’s that you felt you couldn’t I think that’s sad that your school community wouldn’t accommodate your situation.

I think at least 5/6 siblings must have come to every party I’ve ever had. Sometimes they will tell me, sometimes not. No one has ever demanded anything and they’ve always been welcomed with open arms as part of the wider school community.

….. they’ve also never acted up though - that would be different.

I would be devastated if my kids friends felt excluded just because their mum has no support.

The idea that they are a CF is laughable - like they want to spend 2 hours a a shit noisy party? They are there for your child.

A baby is completely different from an older sibling, you’re not expecting her to be catered for. She’s basically part of you. Don’t worry, it’s fine.

So sorry for your loss.
i wouldn’t bat an eye at someone bringing a baby, I’d expect that.

Yeah we used to do this. Older daughter would go to the party. Younger would come along and I’d pay her in and there were usually a couple of other younger siblings there for her to play with.

No one will bat an eyelid at the baby there. Honestly, don't stress.

Mumsnet is very anti siblings at parties and I agree it's rude to just turn up with an older child, but if I knew your situation I'd make sure the situation worked for you - whether that was letting you drop and run or inviting your older child. Most people are kind OP and I'm sure would try to help you. I'm so sorry for your loss.

A baby is no issue whatsoever, not like they will be eating the food/cake at the end! Honestly don’t sweat it.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

I would say it’s absolutely fine to take the baby, without even allowing for your situation. My 9mo always comes along to parties when I take my 4yo. He stays in his sling and usually sleeps through the whole thing. It has never crossed my mind that it might be an issue - and there are always other parents with babies. Once the little one is about one, and wants to walk around rather than sleep, then I’d no longer take him.

Given that you have list your DH, I can’t imagine any parent who wouldn’t just let you bring the little one if you’re stuck!

Baby would be fine.

Well with 7 year old you can drop off for parties.

If the 4 year old has a party then would your 7year old happily sit and colour or watch a movie with head phones? Check with parent but Id be totally happy with that

YANBU, babies don't count in numbers as they won't cost anything or need anything so she won't mind at all. Also, given your husband has just died, you could bring 5 uninvited siblings to my kids party and I'd make it work.

If you do need to take either sibling to the other one's parties in the future, just ask when you RSVP for the other one, or as soon as you can. Most people don't mind at all if it's for childcare purposes as long as they know in advance so they can adjust numbers/party bags.

Why is it sad? All the kids were dropped off. My eldest DD didn't even start school until easter before she was 5 in the summer. Rising 5s was normal then. So no whole year in " reception '

And I used to work every other weekend and kids be with family members 30 plus miles away.

They don't care

I think it’s rude to bring a sibling to a party assuming they are part of the party. It’s different when they are a paying guest. It’s quite a normal scenario.

So if you take soft play; normal entry is £8. Ds(5) has been invited to a party and so doesn’t pay but his sister hasn’t. I take them both, pay £8 for dd to go to soft play and ds goes in as a guest to the party.

I’m sorry for your loss.

I would bring baby for sure it’s not issue!

going forward with older ones I would usually ask if it was ok to bring x child and pay for them. It must be very difficult for you to juggle.

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest. Even older siblings wouldn't bother me, if there wasn't space on the package you could pay for them to go in, and I'd be happy for them to join in the party food and a party bag if there was spare.

And that is regardless of your circumstances, that'd be my approach anyway.

Obviously if you were a known cheeky fucker bringing 4 kids who would rampage and steal all the food it would be different. But a 'normal' family bringing an extra child would not be on my radar at all.

So I have always assumed babes in slings are fine and haven't even asked. Once they start toddling/demanding food I drop a line and say x's sibling will come too because no-one to watch them but I'll bring snacks for them and pay any entry fees, hope that's okay but please let me know any issues. It is never ever an issue. Sorry for your loss x

In your circumstances, any normal person would be happy to help and not follow the usual rules, Most people are kind.

You have to check your area. Around here, it's not acceptable to drop and run, and parents feel they are inviting to a party, not providing free childcare. But on MN, some posters say they drop and run from reception!

That will give you a clue, and then you can ask a friend to be in charge of yours if an adult need to stay.

Babies are fine, and as long as you entertain the other sibling , no one should mind. It's obvious when a sibling tags along or when the CF parent expect them to join

But saying to the party organiser that you are on your own with the children, no one normal should mind. The least we can all do is try to make the life of a child who just lost a parent that little bit easier

You can't bring siblings to a party in general- it's not polite. A baby does not count because will not take part of the activities. So sorry for your loss.💐

my experience is that's it's beyond rude and inappropriate to bring someone who wasn't invited. If the birthday child wanted to have them, they would have invited them
Age matters, younger or older make a difference in the group.
Poor parents already planned and paid for a certain number, even in a hall, and often had to restrict the guest list.

Are people so rude they also go to a wedding with an extra guest or more?

Siblings are fine as long as they’re small enough not to need including or big (mature) enough to sit on the sidelines. Definitely a 7 month old, I don’t think you even need to
ask. It’s not like they can run off and join the softplay! I think a 3 yo at a 5 yo party could be tricky age as the 3 yo wouldn’t necessarily understand that the activities, food etc wasn’t for them (depending on the 3 yo personality). I had no issue with people bringing siblings to my DC’s parties as long as the parent was making an attempt to keep them on the sidelines. I also offered them leftovers, sometimes had a spare party bag etc. I do remember inviting one child’s younger sibling as they were very close in age and my dc had been at preschool with them. My mum was a bit (quietly!) outraged that they sat up at the table till I explained to her I had actually specifically invited them too!

A baby is totally fine.

I’m so sorry for your loss

I am lucky that all the mums around here are considerate - and when they had to take a sibling, they always brought entertainment for the uninvited one , usually a tablet, so no one crashed a party uninvited. It made 0 difference if the child was there or not, and that's what it's all about.

It's only on MN that I heard of these CF decided to invite a spare sibling, ruining the vibe and the party, demanding food and party bag. They wouldn't be invited again that's for sure.

It’s completely normal here; you just pay for the sibling separately.