Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dismissed from work.

266 replies

user1464187087 · 20/02/2026 23:33

Good evening,
Please be gentle with me.
I was dismissed from work a few months ago. I worked as a staff member for the police for nearly 26 years.
For many years I worked as a police 999 Call Handler and ended up sufferring with anxiety as a result. I took calls from people who comitted suicide, died in fatal house fires, people that witnessed fatal road traffic collisions and a hell of a lot more.
I was dismissed because of my sickness due to anxiety and feel it was unfair.
I was in a union and felt that they didn't help me.
Am I being unreasonable to think this is unfair?
I didn't have months off sick and had been back working full time for four months at the time of my dismissal.
I started working there when I was 17 and was dismissed when I was 42.
I can't seem to get over it.
Sorry for the long post.

OP posts:
GirlFromMontmartre · 21/02/2026 09:32

NeverDropYourMooncup · 21/02/2026 09:22

The difficulty there is that they still need to be dismissed on grounds of capability.

OH assessment has to say (and the panel agree) that not only is the person medically unfit to do their role and this will not change between now and normal retirement age, they are medically unfit to work at all and this will not change between now and normal retirement age.

Correct

Brightlittlecanary · 21/02/2026 09:30

lifeisgoodrightnow · 21/02/2026 09:15

age isn’t a factor in ill health retirement. Also the pension shouldn’t be reduced for the years not worked it’s given as if the recipient had reached normal retirement age.

Also depending on the wording it doesn’t mean you can’t work in a different job

I think you have s missed the fact she is capable of work.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 21/02/2026 09:22

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 21/02/2026 08:45

Never "too young" for IHR.

The difficulty there is that they still need to be dismissed on grounds of capability.

OH assessment has to say (and the panel agree) that not only is the person medically unfit to do their role and this will not change between now and normal retirement age, they are medically unfit to work at all and this will not change between now and normal retirement age.

GirlFromMontmartre · 21/02/2026 09:17

lifeisgoodrightnow · 21/02/2026 09:15

age isn’t a factor in ill health retirement. Also the pension shouldn’t be reduced for the years not worked it’s given as if the recipient had reached normal retirement age.

Also depending on the wording it doesn’t mean you can’t work in a different job

Yes I get that. What I’m saying is, dependant on various factors, it’s not that she can’t work, she just can’t do THAT job.

And leaving the workplace at 42 for mental health reasons doesn’t sound the best idea

lifeisgoodrightnow · 21/02/2026 09:15

GirlFromMontmartre · 21/02/2026 08:36

Too young probably.

age isn’t a factor in ill health retirement. Also the pension shouldn’t be reduced for the years not worked it’s given as if the recipient had reached normal retirement age.

Also depending on the wording it doesn’t mean you can’t work in a different job

usedtobeaylis · 21/02/2026 09:12

Did they have support in place for call handlers? Other areas of the justice system has ongoing vicarious trauma support. Have you received any sort of proper support in general?

Serencwtch · 21/02/2026 09:02

How much absence did you have?

You say you managed 4 months without a day off but how much in the weeks, months & years before that.

GirlFromMontmartre · 21/02/2026 08:59

Just went back to the first post, 42 is young to think about IHR, and there’s a whole world out there. What is it they say? We have three careers in our working life? I think you should be incredibly proud of your service, and take a moment to reframe your thinking. You put in a wonderful service, and you must’ve changed so much in that time. I understand because before my current line of work I did a job that exposed me to the rough side of life, and I simply ran out of steam for the crap things that people do, and the trauma they cause. This included dealing with death. I never felt bad leaving it behind because I always made myself frame it in that way - people will remember what I did for them when they needed support.
Youll never forget the trauma you heard, but I think you need a little support yourself to close the book on that part, and decide what you are going to do next. It might be worth reaching out to Unite and the Fed to see if there are any services they can offer in this area.
To reiterate - 17 years is a wonderful service and you ought to be very proud.

topcat2014 · 21/02/2026 08:57

I was sacked last year, so I know how this feels. However sickness is a valid reason for dismissal, it doesn't mean you were not good at your job when you where there.

I'm one year past mine (and working again) and you will get through this.

Your self esteem will have taken a battering though!

I did find posting here useful- even though some of my posts might have been a bit cringy and woe is me.

I no longer define myself by my job

Take care

Brightlittlecanary · 21/02/2026 08:55

GirlFromMontmartre · 21/02/2026 08:52

I’ll rephrase - too young to retire. It’s the job. Plenty of other avenues of work. And I would be REALLY shocked if no support at all was offered to explore next steps.

She did not need medical retirement, as she herself says she’s able to work again, just not in a call handler roll.

but there is a huge back story here the op has not communicated, and people are jumping to conclusions due to it.

this must not only have been going on years she would have been significantly off the desk job as well, also years, as that’s the role she was capability terminated from.

AldiLidlDeeDee · 21/02/2026 08:54

You really need to speak to a specialist employment lawyer. That way, you’ll get expert advice and it will put your mind at ease rather than ruminating on the ‘what if’s’.

Lots of posters on here are advising you based on zero knowledge of employment laws so their opinions are worth diddly.

I fought my employer when they tried to get rid of me and as I had an excellent provable case, I accepted their very handsome out of court settlement.

My boss, who was the biggest bully, was finally let go a couple of years later. I did not feel sorry for her one little bit! 😁

IwishIcouldconfess · 21/02/2026 08:53

GirlFromMontmartre · 21/02/2026 08:52

I’ll rephrase - too young to retire. It’s the job. Plenty of other avenues of work. And I would be REALLY shocked if no support at all was offered to explore next steps.

The OP is being very candid about facts.
I bet support was offered!

GirlFromMontmartre · 21/02/2026 08:52

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 21/02/2026 08:45

Never "too young" for IHR.

I’ll rephrase - too young to retire. It’s the job. Plenty of other avenues of work. And I would be REALLY shocked if no support at all was offered to explore next steps.

somanychristmaslights · 21/02/2026 08:48

Dollymylove · 21/02/2026 08:14

Don't employers have a duty of care to their employees? Especially emergency service workers?

My Service provides lots of counselling and support for its employees. We would redeploy if possible, but we couldn’t cope if someone was still going off sick lots. Some roles people can do, some people can’t unfortunately.

Brightlittlecanary · 21/02/2026 08:47

Sweetiedarling7 · 21/02/2026 08:40

I think you should take legal advice. You might have a case for personal injury.
This would be separate from any claim regarding your dismissal and I believe you have 3 years to bring a claim.

It’s not personal injury, it’s anxiety that would have been alleviated by switching job, she’s not permanently impacted.

Topbobble · 21/02/2026 08:46

First off hugs OP, its not nice to be fired but kindly it does sound like they followed correct procedure; the difference between being fired because the job is challenging and support likely woeful meaning you struggled being unfair and whether they were legally in the wrong are two different things.

It wont feel like it as its the only job you have known, but it does sound like it wasnt working for you. My first job was similar, and until i changed career i didnt see just how damaging and unsuitable for me my old job was; there are plenty that dont make you physically and mentally unwell enough to need time off repeatedly.

I would be proud of what you achieved there, but think about what you want to do going forward instead of looking back.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 21/02/2026 08:45

GirlFromMontmartre · 21/02/2026 08:36

Too young probably.

Never "too young" for IHR.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 21/02/2026 08:44

If the dismissal was 4 months ago please dont contact ACAS as any potential case you might bring would be "out of time".

You must have had an awful lot if time off from your job to be dismissed.

If the job caused you anxiety then it wasnt a good fit for you so perhaps it's good that you find something new.

somanychristmaslights · 21/02/2026 08:43

Can you give more detail of how long and frequent you were off for?

Sweetiedarling7 · 21/02/2026 08:40

I think you should take legal advice. You might have a case for personal injury.
This would be separate from any claim regarding your dismissal and I believe you have 3 years to bring a claim.

Brightlittlecanary · 21/02/2026 08:37

Soontobe60 · 21/02/2026 08:24

Are you conveniently forgetting the part where she talks about the nature of her job as a call handler and the impact it had on her mental health? This is considered an industrial injury nowadays, and as such she should be compensated instead of cast out.
A good friend of mine worked as a call handler for the Ambulance service. She lasted 2 years before she had to leave due to the stress of the job. Turnover is very high for the same reason.

It’s not conscription.

GirlFromMontmartre · 21/02/2026 08:36

lifeisgoodrightnow · 21/02/2026 08:26

Was ill health retirement never given as an option ?

Too young probably.

IwishIcouldconfess · 21/02/2026 08:28

Soontobe60 · 21/02/2026 08:24

Are you conveniently forgetting the part where she talks about the nature of her job as a call handler and the impact it had on her mental health? This is considered an industrial injury nowadays, and as such she should be compensated instead of cast out.
A good friend of mine worked as a call handler for the Ambulance service. She lasted 2 years before she had to leave due to the stress of the job. Turnover is very high for the same reason.

Surely if you can't cope with a job, which is known to be stressful, you ensure you have good coping mechanisms, look after yourself, ask for help, look for another role, not keep going off bloody sick!

lifeisgoodrightnow · 21/02/2026 08:26

Was ill health retirement never given as an option ?

Soontobe60 · 21/02/2026 08:24

Mapleleafinengland · 21/02/2026 08:09

It is only fair to the taxpayer and your colleagues- who have to step in to cover you. If you aren’t fit for this role that someone else is employed who can carry out this important job. It is time to look for a different line of work

Are you conveniently forgetting the part where she talks about the nature of her job as a call handler and the impact it had on her mental health? This is considered an industrial injury nowadays, and as such she should be compensated instead of cast out.
A good friend of mine worked as a call handler for the Ambulance service. She lasted 2 years before she had to leave due to the stress of the job. Turnover is very high for the same reason.

Swipe left for the next trending thread