Dismissed from work.

Clearly you can understand boundaries and switching off.
My ability to run a team and care for the most unwell people in the hospital, does not stop me from talking sense.

Obviously I said if just doesn’t work and wasn’t equating it to abuse,

I’d equate it to a bad marriage, where you know it’s bad, you know you should end it, it just doesn’t work any more, but you just cling on and ultimately you’re comfortable with the lifestyle that goes with it, then your spouse says it’s over.

so even though you know they were right, you feel humiliated you didn’t call the end first, that they didn’t want you, and that you lose the financials, so even though you’ve got a new boyfriend, you’re now having to start again from scratch, and still smart over what happened and they called enough, withdrew their financial support and found someone else to fill the role instead.

I think whether they realise it or not people generally like to engage in forums to give people the benefit of their experience- tell them what to do then move onto the next thread.

A lot of forums are just about chatting and listening, but people are also problem solvers by nature and just want you to close off their expectation- “ok I have booked in with a lawyer” so they can close their involvement neatly.

it’s not what you want from the thread, but it is just a mismatch you see a lot on here.

fwiw I get how you must feel sick everytime you think of it and want to resolve it in your own head, not take action against them particularly. But that is harder and takes more commitment from posters.

You clearly are holding your head up as you have another job and I hope it is something you enjoy. But I’m really struggling to understand what you want from this thread OP.

No it isn't a competition, but you're paid to do a job, if you can no longer do that job, for whatever reason, then move on.

I'd rather move on myself with my head held high than be sacked.

OP - my understanding from reading this thread is your employer's decision to dismiss you was likely to be risk-based (a concern you might be off again) rather than anything punitive/personal on their side. For peace of mind I would contact a lawyer as most UK ones will give you an initial consultation for free. Did your union rep who attended your meetings with you give you any feedback? Did you follow their advice throughout? But I would use the fact the last 4 months went well (and I think you mentioned you have a new job now?) as positive evidence and reassurance you can thrive in another place. We are very institutionalised by our employers, up to a point we do swallow the cool aid and forget there is a whole world out there beyond it. Ideally you would have done your transfer much earlier but you probably weren't in the right headspace to do it. What has helped me move on is to think of being a bar and someone meeting me for the first time. I woudn't want my whole identity to be as a victim linked to this one employer. I think about all the other things that define me and try and focus on that.

Didn’t she say that she was moved to a reception role that was working well for her?

But, but, but … why would you want to go back?
I mean that really sympathetically.
Maybe the universe or whatever is telling you that it’s time for a change. Best of luck x

I don’t think anyone thinks it is a competition.

If you have a job to do and you can no longer do it due to illness, even illness brought on by the job which is actually fairly common in front line services because as you say often the situations people face as very traumatic, I have attended some of the calls you have mentioned and as you say they are very traumatic, then a person needs to move out of the role. This is not a personal weakness or character failing, these situations compound.

If the person themselves cannot make that choice to leave for whatever reasons are personal to them then the employer will follow a process, that requires many, many hoops and the person will leave the role via the legal mechanisms allowed for.

You ask if that is unfair, well no I don’t think that is unfair, but I do see how it might feel unfair if you are struggling to accept the decisions taken.

I'm a nurse in ICU.
You hear the story
I see it, I tidy it up, i deal with the aftermath
I stand by my comments

See a lawyer. They terminated you due to a medical condition - a medical condition that was a direct result of the work you were doing.

I think it’s probably best you moved on though. That is a lot of trauma to process.

As I said up thread, speak to ACAS - talking it all through with them will pave the way for any unfair dismissal claim if you are eligible

You haven't given enough detail particularly the extent of the absences so nobody can really advise but it does sound like it was fair & just & that the correct process was followed by the employer.

The fact that you disagree with the decision doesn't make it necessarily unfair.

I'm guessing OP that it wouldn't be legally classed as unfair dismissal. But I don't think that's what you're asking.
Yes it does seem unfair, or at least harsh to me because of what you had done previously for the same employer in the call handler job, and then how much you had managed to improve your work attendance by the time they got around to having your stage 3 meeting.
I'm not surprised you feel it's unfair.
Something bad happened to you that wasn't your own fault, you've tried to do the right thing by getting into a less high-stress job, but were still suffering the ill effects and struggled.
I really hope your new job is something that brings you joy.

Oh that’s Good, congrats and that was fast, hope,you’re loving it.

Exacrly, the police is just one of thousands of jobs available, this one was mentally detrimental and wasn’t for you in the end. So start applying for other roles doing what you’re good at but in less traumatic environments. You were back at work for four months and feel,fit for work, you’ve a good cv behind you. So go for it. You will soon be back in the workplace every day.