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AIBU?

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To be the most shocked about the women possibly involved in it all

265 replies

Whereareallthegoodpeople · 20/02/2026 22:49

With Epstein.

Men, i’m pretty much sick of at this point in my late 40’s, adore my Ddad and Dh is one of the good ones, but thinking back to being young and leering men and uncomfortable and scary situations.
But, rumours of women possibly being involved-obviously vile GM, but a supposed supermodel, JE’s personal assistants and women that seemed to work for him, reports of possibly owning adoption agencies etc. If all true, how on earth could women see children and young girls being abused and hurt and actively make that happen?? Where were all the safe people, why did no one notice and say or do anything?

OP posts:
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Whereareallthegoodpeople · 22/02/2026 16:52

NeelyOHara · 22/02/2026 08:13

This is rather downplaying things isn’t it? Plenty of very young children are mentioned in the files, which no one on here seems to want to read or fact check against at all, preferring to theorise which is…..odd.

Exactly what I thought!

OP posts:
NeelyOHara · 22/02/2026 08:13

HoskinsChoice · 21/02/2026 21:27

Some were younger but a lot of them were above the legal age of consent.

This is rather downplaying things isn’t it? Plenty of very young children are mentioned in the files, which no one on here seems to want to read or fact check against at all, preferring to theorise which is…..odd.

MissHollyGolightly · 21/02/2026 22:33

There were two phases - when he and GM were recruiting underaged girls and after he went to prison when he was careful to go for 18 year olds or what was legal. Also GM faded away and had her own life so he had another assistant arranging women and he continually tried to get others to find him more. But when they brought charges in 2019 it was only ever for the same earlier period of the underage girls he’d served for. Not for any recent crime.
He was able for years to successfully downplay the conviction because it was such a slap in the wrist and it was portrayed by him as like he’d been misled about one girl’s age and it was a misdemeanour basically.

redwinekeepsyousane · 21/02/2026 22:23

Pepperedpickles · 20/02/2026 23:00

I was abused by my mother. It’s much less common than men doing horrible things, of course but I think it’s more common than people realise. People like to think it’s just men doing these things but it really isn’t. I think abusive women are often just better at hiding it. My Mum was very upper middle class, organised high profile literary events and was well known in certain circles. She was also an alcoholic and schizophrenic. People don’t ever want to admit multiple things can be true about the same person.

I’m really sorry to hear this - didn’t want to not stop and say something.

HoskinsChoice · 21/02/2026 21:27

Whereareallthegoodpeople · 21/02/2026 21:23

Who keep saying women…these were children

Some were younger but a lot of them were above the legal age of consent.

HoskinsChoice · 21/02/2026 21:25

Carla786 · 21/02/2026 20:15

I also asked about the boyfriend and it said : In plain-English summaries of his declaration: He saw her being picked up by much older men in cars, she told him she had to go give “massages”, she would return with cash, and he felt something was wrong.

Maybe he saw it as escort work, but otoh massages wouldn't necessarily have been interpreted as sex work back then. And it should be remembered they were both teenagers at this point, adults in that situation would more likely realise more possibly.

I'd read her book if you are interested. She tells you what happened in there.

Whereareallthegoodpeople · 21/02/2026 21:23

MissHollyGolightly · 21/02/2026 14:22

I think everyone in his circle was groomed or conditioned into believing it was an acceptable setup for a wealthy man to hire beautiful young woman to be assistants and eye candy. I mean - why not? Companies hire young women into that role all the time—think saleswoman in luxury goods or private banking, for example.
Many of the women were aspiring models and it was on paper a great opportunity to get jobs and make connections with powerful people. The pay and perks added glamour.
Epstein didn’t want to hire sex workers, he very specifically wanted young healthy women with natural bodies and faces, no silicon or fillers. He wanted to replicate a trope as old as the ages- the young innocent beauty in thrall and submitting to older and powerful men.
The women helping find new victims were all part of the toxicity but in the moment it probably seemed more eccentric than illegal. Don’t forget he was extremely careful not to deal with under 18s after doing time, So these are adult women willingly working for him —- so to the outside eye, who might not stop to consider there was a trafficking angle, could probably be quite comfortable with it all.

Who keep saying women…these were children

OP posts:
Carla786 · 21/02/2026 20:15

I also asked about the boyfriend and it said : In plain-English summaries of his declaration: He saw her being picked up by much older men in cars, she told him she had to go give “massages”, she would return with cash, and he felt something was wrong.

Maybe he saw it as escort work, but otoh massages wouldn't necessarily have been interpreted as sex work back then. And it should be remembered they were both teenagers at this point, adults in that situation would more likely realise more possibly.

Carla786 · 21/02/2026 20:08

HoskinsChoice · 21/02/2026 20:02

That's an interesting question that a court would need to battle with. Her boyfriend knew that she was having sex with men for money, yes. Did he regard that as abuse though? If I recall correctly, he later testified on her behalf to prove that she was being trafficked but I suspect at the time he just saw it as escorts work which funded their lifestyle. They were both taking a lot of drugs at the time and she was outwardly getting on with life and entirely free to make her own decisions so I presume he didn't recognise it as abuse.

Right, it was a very complex situation.

Otoh I asked ChatGPT about this- I Nedd to fact check theirs of course.

They said :She did have periods where she wasn’t physically with him. Her access to money, housing and work was still tied to his network when she was a teenager She says she was brought back through pressure, financial dependence, and grooming.

If this is true re her jobs & money being tied to Epstein I think that's important. Moreover, she was 19 when she left and a lot of the accusations relate to when she was legally a minor.

HoskinsChoice · 21/02/2026 20:02

Carla786 · 21/02/2026 19:37

Did her boyfriend know she was being abused?

That's an interesting question that a court would need to battle with. Her boyfriend knew that she was having sex with men for money, yes. Did he regard that as abuse though? If I recall correctly, he later testified on her behalf to prove that she was being trafficked but I suspect at the time he just saw it as escorts work which funded their lifestyle. They were both taking a lot of drugs at the time and she was outwardly getting on with life and entirely free to make her own decisions so I presume he didn't recognise it as abuse.

NeelyOHara · 21/02/2026 19:53

Let’s be honest, it’s shocking because it’s the exception not the rule.

UnhappyHobbit · 21/02/2026 19:47

Pepperedpickles · 20/02/2026 23:00

I was abused by my mother. It’s much less common than men doing horrible things, of course but I think it’s more common than people realise. People like to think it’s just men doing these things but it really isn’t. I think abusive women are often just better at hiding it. My Mum was very upper middle class, organised high profile literary events and was well known in certain circles. She was also an alcoholic and schizophrenic. People don’t ever want to admit multiple things can be true about the same person.

I agree with you. I’m sorry you were abused by your mother.

I'm quite surprised the OP is that shocked with the likes of Myra Hindley and Rose West. It’s not unheard of for a woman to be evil.

Carla786 · 21/02/2026 19:38

Daygloboo · 21/02/2026 10:36

Im inclined to think that is an oversimplification. It seems to go against the idea of evolution to me. If, historically, we were never anything but brutish, we would have died out long ago. The capacity for cooperation, love, fairness etc is imo built in just as much as violence and self preservation..You dont go from hunter gatherer to farmer just by being constantly violent. Those people were.more sophisticated than you think. Read your history and prehistory.

I agree

Carla786 · 21/02/2026 19:37

HoskinsChoice · 21/02/2026 09:11

No, she had her own flat and lived with her boyfriend. She lived a pretty normal life - cooking, cleaning, shopping, going to the pub, friends, family etc. At one point she stopped working for Epstein and got a job in a restaurant but a few months later he asked her to go back so she did. Epstein paid for her to go to Thailand, on her own, to do a beauty/massage course and she met a man there, fell in love and never went back, (that man became her husband). She called Epstein to tell him she wasn't going back and he just said ok and she never heard from him again.

All of this doesn't make her less of a victim but it does make it much more difficult to convict anyone. How do you prove 'beyond reasonable doubt' that she was forced when she was actually free to say no. She voluntarily went back every time. She had been groomed to think it was ok and possibly even normal.

With the Andrew situation related to Guiffre, if there is an offence, it would be almost impossible to convict her because she, on the face of it, did it voluntarily. She was excited by the fact she was meeting a prince and asked for the famous photo as she knew her mum was a big fan of the royal family. She has never claimed there was any physical force with Andrew.

This is not the kind of grooming that involved force, violence and captivity. For Virginia at least, it was entirely mental. She was physically but not mentally free.

This is all in her book. It is difficult reading put helps to explain the situation and wipes out the vast majority of the assumptions and made up stories that appear on here and other social media forums.

Did her boyfriend know she was being abused?

Carla786 · 21/02/2026 19:36

5128gap · 21/02/2026 08:22

I think you're making the mistake of confusing reasons with excuses.
People wanting to discuss the specific motivation of women involved in these crimes, rather than throwing the lazy and statistically unsupported "see! They're just the same as men! Just as evil!" soundbites, are not giving women 'a free pass'.
As PP said most studies on these behaviours have been conducted on men, for obvious reasons. Women who contribute to these crimes generally have different motivators and different histories leading up to them, and so should be examined separately if we are to understand with a view to prevention.
Patriarchal context and male power over them is one theory people have brought to the table. People don't have to agree with it of course. But at least it's a theory to start a conversation and more helpful than 'they're just evil'.
I means, what is 'evil', are some people born evil? They are evil new babies and their destiny is set? Can't be cured, can't be prevented? Or is 'evil' something that develops as a result of life experiences, mental and psychological health, abuse, societal context and their position within it?
If people are going to accuse anyone wanting to ask these questions as making excuses then how are we to ever understand?

They are evil new babies and their destiny is set? Can't be cured, can't be prevented?

  • I read it National Geographic that some kids can be arguably born with psychopath predisposition : lack of empathy & other things. But that if you intervene early enough then they can be helped.
Carla786 · 21/02/2026 19:34

InterIgnis · 21/02/2026 14:07

I was a Serb in Serbia, so I got off very, very lightly.

I don’t think the underlying factors are different. Both rely on a removal of ordinary restrictions, and both rely on environment providing opportunity to act in a way you wouldn’t have done in a different one.

Do you think a lot of men would have abused Epstein's prisoners then, if given the opportunity? I suspect quite a lot, sadly...

And many ordinary women might have colluded.

Carla786 · 21/02/2026 19:31

TempestTost · 21/02/2026 19:29

I don't really think that women are more likely to be empathetic or caring. If some men are willing to overlook the humanity of some women for their own benefit, some women are as well. Not as often for sex. But manipulation, greed, cruelty, power,women are in no way immune to these things.

There are a lot of studies showing women score higher on empathy ON AVERAGE, and biologically /evolutionarily as well as socially it makes sense, since in groups originally women had to care for kids & elderly, maintain social networks etc

But of course this in no way means that women can't often be evil and depraved. It may not be in a violent or sexual way but it can be just as damaging.

Carla786 · 21/02/2026 19:30

hoopyloopy2 · 21/02/2026 13:11

Yes true, there has been progression but somehow the pretence of moral superiority that goes on now by so many of the most powerful people in the western world is just as sickening it’s own way as the barefaced misogyny of the past/in other parts of the world. The hypocrisy, collusion and enablement are their own brand of bleak and terrifying. Not minimising the experiences of women in other times and places. I’m incredibly thankful that I’m not one of them but I certainly don’t celebrate where we are today.

Things can be very bad among many 'elite' here and still immeasurably better compared to many other places & history. We mustn't lose hope.

TempestTost · 21/02/2026 19:29

I don't really think that women are more likely to be empathetic or caring. If some men are willing to overlook the humanity of some women for their own benefit, some women are as well. Not as often for sex. But manipulation, greed, cruelty, power,women are in no way immune to these things.

Carla786 · 21/02/2026 19:28

FreiasBathtub · 21/02/2026 11:25

No, but that is exactly what I'm saying. Morality, fairness, kindness- call it what you like, it's the product of self-interest and self-preservation. When it stops serving you, individually, and maybe your immediate community, it becomes redundant.

Have you read Hobbes? As this is his entire thesis. We all give up some of our individual autonomy to a higher authority (in his conception a king because he was writing at a time when the idea of kingship was highly contested) and that authority enforces law for the common good. And that's the basis of morality. It's how he explains the emergence of the polity - or, as he calls it, the commonwealth.

I have read my history, and my political philosophy as it happens, and a bit of anthropology too, so this isn't an entirely uninformed viewpoint Smile

I agree partly but I think Hobbes was too pessimistic.

And stuff like genocide and the kind of sexual abuse referenced on this thread isn't necessary for self preservation (although eg. Rwandan were told stuff like 'kill this child now or he will come back to kill you as an adult'). It's just sadism. It's not like it serves some survival purpose.

Quine0nline · 21/02/2026 19:26

Look at the numbers of women who worked at concentration camp guards, as secret police for the Nazis and for the communists. Also the women of daesh. Gleefully participating in murder, terrorising, torture - no surprise sadly.

Carla786 · 21/02/2026 19:25

Daygloboo · 21/02/2026 14:20

I know. I wonder where individual experience of spirutual universality would come into all that. Hard to get into a philosophical duscussion on a thread really.

Individual experience of spiritual universality: you mean religions which teach all souls are equal/people who believe that?

I think Hobbes was too pessimistic personally but there definitely is much evil in the world.

Carla786 · 21/02/2026 19:23

MissHollyGolightly · 21/02/2026 14:22

I think everyone in his circle was groomed or conditioned into believing it was an acceptable setup for a wealthy man to hire beautiful young woman to be assistants and eye candy. I mean - why not? Companies hire young women into that role all the time—think saleswoman in luxury goods or private banking, for example.
Many of the women were aspiring models and it was on paper a great opportunity to get jobs and make connections with powerful people. The pay and perks added glamour.
Epstein didn’t want to hire sex workers, he very specifically wanted young healthy women with natural bodies and faces, no silicon or fillers. He wanted to replicate a trope as old as the ages- the young innocent beauty in thrall and submitting to older and powerful men.
The women helping find new victims were all part of the toxicity but in the moment it probably seemed more eccentric than illegal. Don’t forget he was extremely careful not to deal with under 18s after doing time, So these are adult women willingly working for him —- so to the outside eye, who might not stop to consider there was a trafficking angle, could probably be quite comfortable with it all.

Don’t forget he was extremely careful not to deal with under 18s after doing time, So these are adult women willingly working for him —- so to the outside eye, who might not stop to consider there was a trafficking angle, could probably be quite comfortable with it all.

  • people helping him would have known about the 14yo conviction though..
Carla786 · 21/02/2026 19:22

EatYourDamnPie · 21/02/2026 17:23

Ermm … just look at the abuse(sometimes even sexual) perpetrated by nuns against young women/children all over the world, the abuse perpetrated in the old eastern block orphanages, the midwives that were selling babies by the dozen.

I’m not saying women are as bad as men and I will never say that. However, they do have the capacity to be. Ignoring that is being part of the problem.

Yes

Carla786 · 21/02/2026 19:21

Boomer55 · 21/02/2026 17:53

I used to work in child protection. Women are often involved with child abuse, either directly or by colluding.

How often? I thought women directly abusing (sexually at least) was rare, physical more common...and sadly I imagine collusion could be quite common too.