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Original poster

To have walked out of Wuthering Heights

79 replies

Beardycapri · 20/02/2026 21:48

But not for the reasons you think.

I had wind.

Bad wind.

it was squeaky. People turned round. My date was not impressed. Curse you, kale and lentils. Curse you.

OP posts:
Daygloboo · 21/02/2026 01:19

Beardycapri · 20/02/2026 21:48

But not for the reasons you think.

I had wind.

Bad wind.

it was squeaky. People turned round. My date was not impressed. Curse you, kale and lentils. Curse you.

I let out the smelliest fart with my first ever boyfriend when we'd only been together a few weeks. Fortunately we were in a crowded place and i dont think he knew it was me. I can still see his wrinkled up nose all these yesrs later. Thundering tart.

NotMeAtAll · 21/02/2026 01:00

Heathcliff,
It's me, I'm windy,
I've just blown now,

Can't ho-o-o-old it,
Let me open a windo-o-o-ow.

Meteorite87 · 21/02/2026 00:57

halftermhalfawake · 20/02/2026 22:40

a bit of light-farted entertainment

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Not that light if @Beardycapri had to leave the film showing?

InterestedDad37 · 21/02/2026 00:53

Smothering shites 😀 🚶 💨

halftermhalfawake · 21/02/2026 00:43

ComedyGuns · 21/02/2026 00:40

I was thinking the same…

I absolutely loved the first two thirds of WH, and it built up such an expectation for Heathcliffe’s return.

But he returned as an incoherent, two dimensional sex object, so we had literally zero empathy when he was crying over Cathy’s body at the end.

Such a myriad of missed opportunities…just don’t get it. Did she run out of time. and budgeeto

Show quote history

It's like an exam where you put too much effort into the first bit and before you know it the invigilator says "20 minutes left" and you're scrambling to bring it to some sort of conclusion....

PinterandPirandello · 21/02/2026 00:40

🤣🤣

ComedyGuns · 21/02/2026 00:40

BMW6 · 20/02/2026 21:59

Who risks eating kale and lentils before a trip out ???

I was thinking the same…

I absolutely loved the first two thirds of WH, and it built up such an expectation for Heathcliffe’s return.

But he returned as an incoherent, two dimensional sex object, so we had literally zero empathy when he was crying over Cathy’s body at the end.

Such a myriad of missed opportunities…just don’t get it. Did she run out of time. and budgeeto

Gonnahavetofaceit · 21/02/2026 00:33

It’s me, I’m windy
I’ve gone home.

lcakethereforeIam · 21/02/2026 00:32

That explains the train

Flowers Walk GIF by Warner Bros. Pictures
CarlStoleMyUnderpants · 21/02/2026 00:19

I envy you, I watched all of it. I'd rather have seen an adaptation of this:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7799991-withering-tights

PyongyangKipperbang · 21/02/2026 00:00

Snugglemonkey · 20/02/2026 23:50

Years ago I had several dates with a guy, all good. Then he asked me to his house for a meal. He made lentil and kale soup with pumpernickle rye bread. It was not good.

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Reminds me of my DD on Tinder before she met her now DP.

She swiped....whichever way is "no", and I said whats wrong with him and she said "He is veggie and I bet his farts are rancid"! But then another one she said "He is a personal trainer and I like chips", she knows her standards!

Snugglemonkey · 20/02/2026 23:50

BMW6 · 20/02/2026 21:59

Who risks eating kale and lentils before a trip out ???

Years ago I had several dates with a guy, all good. Then he asked me to his house for a meal. He made lentil and kale soup with pumpernickle rye bread. It was not good.

Original poster
Beardycapri · 20/02/2026 23:38

PyongyangKipperbang · 20/02/2026 23:06

We have a family history of IBS and intolerances. I basically survive on potatoes if I am working the next day because they're are about the only thing that dont give me really bad farts.

I stock up on veg the nights before a day off and spend the day cheerfully farting and smelling like a bear pit.

YANBU at all, and if your date isnt understanding then s/he isnt a keeper anyway!

Edited

My tribe.

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 20/02/2026 23:06

We have a family history of IBS and intolerances. I basically survive on potatoes if I am working the next day because they're are about the only thing that dont give me really bad farts.

I stock up on veg the nights before a day off and spend the day cheerfully farting and smelling like a bear pit.

YANBU at all, and if your date isnt understanding then s/he isnt a keeper anyway!

Blackberrys1 · 20/02/2026 22:58

BMW6 · 20/02/2026 21:59

Who risks eating kale and lentils before a trip out ???

This.
Why would you do that to yourself?
I love both by the way.

GreatUserName · 20/02/2026 22:50

BMW6 · 20/02/2026 21:59

Who risks eating kale and lentils before a trip out ???

Too hot, too greedy...

Original poster
Beardycapri · 20/02/2026 22:49

MajesticWhine · 20/02/2026 22:46

Did your date stay and watch til the end?

She didn’t like the smell. I blamed it on the air conditioning.

OP posts:
Fernticket · 20/02/2026 22:48

chunkychoos · 20/02/2026 21:51

Withering shites

😂😂😂😂😂😂

MajesticWhine · 20/02/2026 22:46

Did your date stay and watch til the end?

Ukholidaysaregreat · 20/02/2026 22:46

Pha ha ha ha ha! Brilliant!

StressedADHD · 20/02/2026 22:46

I loved this film!!

ThatCyanCat · 20/02/2026 22:45

At least nobody in the cinema could say they were cold.

Blodyneighbour · 20/02/2026 22:43

Heath-wiff

MissAustenMadeAQuilt · 20/02/2026 22:43

Sounds like your bum is an excellent critic, OP.

Calliopespa · 20/02/2026 22:42

Withering Shites.