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Original poster

Please help me urgently prep for judgy friend visit!!!!!!

213 replies

ByProudDreamer · 20/02/2026 20:02

I have a friend who is super judgemental. I suppose no longer a friend, but my husband is very close friends with her husband, so I try to tolerate her. We meet up frequently, but I try to avoid it being at our house, however at short notice, they’re coming for lunch tomorrow.

I know I shouldn’t change to try to appease anyone else, but I’ll feel more relaxed if I have my house up to a decent standard.

Anyway, hosting is absolutely not my strong point, but I want to do a bit of a buffet for them coming. I have no idea what to buy or where to start, and I also have a fair amount of cleaning to do.

Can you wise mumsnetters please help me come up with an impressive buffet lunch, with minimal effort, to feed 8 (4 adults, 3 teens and 1 younger child). I’d be very grateful for help!

OP posts:
CharlotteCChapel · 20/02/2026 21:21

Get those partially cooked loaves, they make the house smell lush, no-one can be judge with that smell

Also if she's judgy so what we all have different standards.

ForFunGoose · 20/02/2026 21:21

I would buy tubs of fresh soup and throw them in a pot.
Buy a few breads , baguette, brown soda, cream crackers.
Get a few meats and salads (coleslaw, ham/tomato) few bags of crisps

Apple tart and box of ice cream cones for the teens.

OptiMumm · 20/02/2026 21:17

pteromum · 20/02/2026 21:16

I’m with others on why?

but certainly don’t change you.

I do get it to a certain extent in that as being in a farm DH is known to rock in with a rep or A couple of lads.

so we always have soup. Mine is as easy as it comes, fridge soup.

then crusty bread. Maybe bacon rolls. Job done.

scones or rock cakes usually on the go with a cuppa.

bye bye. Back to work. or kids activities or whatever you usually do.

I do get it to a certain extent in that as being in a farm DH is known to rock in with a rep or A couple of lads.

By 'rock in', do you mean turn up unannounced and expect you to provide him and them with food?

CluelessAboutBiology · 20/02/2026 21:17

Check to see if shes recently turned veggie/vegan, you don’t want her to gloat that you “failed” to provide her with food she can eat….especially if she’ll pretend to be vegan just to spite you!

pteromum · 20/02/2026 21:16

I’m with others on why?

but certainly don’t change you.

I do get it to a certain extent in that as being in a farm DH is known to rock in with a rep or A couple of lads.

so we always have soup. Mine is as easy as it comes, fridge soup.

then crusty bread. Maybe bacon rolls. Job done.

scones or rock cakes usually on the go with a cuppa.

bye bye. Back to work. or kids activities or whatever you usually do.

AnOddOne · 20/02/2026 21:15

It is not 1956.

AnOddOne · 20/02/2026 21:15

Speed read ‘The Let Them Theory’, let your husband cook whatever, observe the charade from a distance (or go out and leave them to it).

rainforestalliance · 20/02/2026 21:13

Can you not order in a McDonald’s?

PrincessScarlett · 20/02/2026 21:08

I would not be hosting a judgemental cow.

But if I was absolutely forced to, they would get some french stick and ham/sandwich lunch. As for cleaning, just make sure the bathroom/toilet is clean and sod the rest of it.

PS5Gamer · 20/02/2026 21:08

Leave it up to your Husband to sort out.

Ghht · 20/02/2026 21:07

Why are you doing all the faff when you don’t even like her? It’s your DH’s job.

I remember doing this sort of thing for my lazy ex.

SkaneTos · 20/02/2026 21:07

OptiMumm · 20/02/2026 20:33

I expect the husband will be 'working very long hours', which seem to be the default reason so many MNetters run themselves ragged, and actually end up putting in way more hours than the men.

The husband also has a very time consuming hobby, which hobby it is will not be named, because it can be outing (it's cycling).

SeashellHouse · 20/02/2026 21:04

OptiMumm · 20/02/2026 20:10

Are you nuts OP?

You're not actually friends with the judgemental cow but your husband is friends with her husband, yet YOU'RE doing the cooking, hosting and cleaning?

Cop yourself on.

This. Cleaning, cooking and hosting is on your DH. Sleep in, have a nice bath, and go downstairs when everyone’s sitting down to eat.

Lifeomars · 20/02/2026 21:04

I'd be very tempted to feign illness given you don't like her and you think, she is going to sit in judgment on you. Buying, preparing and serving up food to someone like that in a house that I had scoured from top to bottom would make me angry and resentful. I'd be tempted to make a great big pile of cheese sandwiches and serve them with crisps and pop!

OptiMumm · 20/02/2026 21:04

Lifeomars · 20/02/2026 20:57

Guest bathroom? many of us do not have such a thing. I have one bathroom upstairs and the one toilet is in the bathroom too

Show quote history

Same lol.

persisted · 20/02/2026 21:04

I would give him the cleaning list and bugger off out to the shops first thing. Have a leisurely coffee, look at books etc. Buy the things I like best for a lunch spread then come home plate it up and throw the boxes away.

My parents came for lunch last week, I roasted a chicken that morning so we had that with the salad/bread etc. Then I ended up with tasty leftovers for the week, winning.

unsevered67 · 20/02/2026 21:01

Either make a chilli and serve with rice, taco shells, salsa , guacamole and grated cheese.
Or jacket potatoes with options to fill with grated cheese, coleslaw and tuna mayo .
And if you don’t really like judgey friend - who cares what she thinks

Lifeomars · 20/02/2026 20:57

BangFlash · 20/02/2026 20:11

Get your guest bathroom spotless, low lighting everywhete else. Take photos of your rooms and see what jumps out at you.

Buffet - artisnal bread, salads, a fresh quiche, berries, small cakes. Make up some sandwiches in small fresh rolls so the kids have something easy to grab.

OR, stick out sausage rolls, pizza, chicken nuggets because she's going to judge anyway - presumably her dh won't ditch your dh because of your catering.

Guest bathroom? many of us do not have such a thing. I have one bathroom upstairs and the one toilet is in the bathroom too

Woodfiresareamazing · 20/02/2026 20:56

chgaus · 20/02/2026 20:21

Go to M&S - buy a couple of lasagnas - decant into a baking dish. Put ready made bistro salad into a salad bowl. Hide the evidence.

If she asks for the recipe - faint.

Enjoy your evening :)

To tweak this - send DH with a very specific shopping list eg 2 x family lasagne, bags of salad + cucumber and avocado to do a green salad, garlic bread, cheeses + grapes, crackers and chutney. Dessert - M&S raspberry trifle is to die for. Or do brownies and good vanilla ice cream...

While he's doing that, you can clean the main areas ...

Or switch jobs, you shop and he cleans ...

ThatCyanCat · 20/02/2026 20:50

Make a big huge iced cake and if she says something shitty, push her face into it.

Lifealwaysgetsbetter · 20/02/2026 20:49

OptiMumm · 20/02/2026 20:10

Are you nuts OP?

You're not actually friends with the judgemental cow but your husband is friends with her husband, yet YOU'RE doing the cooking, hosting and cleaning?

Cop yourself on.

This. Arrange to meet at a cafe / pub for food if you must meet. No way should he drop this on you the day before. Or feign a migraine / diarrhea and cancel it

TheMorgenmuffel · 20/02/2026 20:46

Sounds like whatever you do will be wrong so why make any effort?
Shove pizza in the oven.
Serve it with garlic bread for that sweet scent of pearls a clutchin'

Frostynoman · 20/02/2026 20:45

Tell your husband to change the plan to a meal out

SnugglyJumpersMakeItBetter · 20/02/2026 20:44

Baked potatoes with a buffet style arrangement of green salad, coleslaw, and bowls of grated cheese for people to help themselves to. Much easier than lasagne.