Please help me urgently prep for judgy friend visit!!!!!!

OMG I couldn't be faffed with all this! I would get takeout!

I wonder if men ever post these types of threads somewhere.

Just go out to lunch. Husband pays. They're his friends.

I'd be inventing a sickness and getting him to host them at a cafe close by. Why would you bother hosting a judgy person

Roast a couple of large chickens in the morning. Cool to room temperature.
(Also some chipolatas for the kids?)
Buy salads.
Buy dessert[s).
Buy French sticks, selection of cheeses..

But how will she have time to get her hair and nails done, polish the house to perfection, help her husband get dressed?

I repeat: it is not 1956. Men can sort out their own shit.

Use it as an excuse to buy the things you normally wouldn’t as they are a treat/a bit too expensive and serve those, then at least you’ve got nice food if she’s a cow!
Make DH do whichever cleaning job is the worst one for you (dusting for me, I’d rather clean the loo than dust!)
Have a bottle of something that’s just for you - have a sneaky glass if it gets too much or save it for when they’ve gone.
Good luck!

Can't argue with that.

if you just buy the whole bloody thing it makes it even easier and if you are so sorry but you already have plans, its a complete breeze

Blimey, some of these spreads are what I'd provide on Christmas eve or for a birthday party! I certainly wouldn't be going all out for someone I didn't really like.
The options in our house, on a random Saturday, would be EITHER:
1.Chilli, baked spuds and salad
2.Pizza and salad
3.Sausages in buns with wedges.

1. Hot pot with pickled red cabbage and crusty bread.
2. Bakery pies, mushy peas and gravy.

I might stretch to a bowl of Doritos to start.

If you just buy the bechamel sauce it makes things much easier.

I don’t understand everyone saying lasagna is easy to make? Last time I made a lasagna I nearly had a breakdown.

Put up a poster saying “a tidy house is a sign of a wasted life”, then take to bed with a migraine and leave your DH to do everything.

Will you consider doing a cheese and pineapple hedgehog? Along with a selection of sandwiches, little sausages and sausage rolls. Maybe some jelly for after.

If my husband has guests he sorts things out. Because this isn't the 1950s.

We had a much loved guest today. I sorted lunch, he vacuumed the house, cleaned the bathroom and toilets and went to the supermarket for things we needed.

Best prep you can do is accept that whatever you do, she will judge you as not to her standards.

Three course meal? "Oh I wouldnt have done that, I would have gone for a much more relaxed buffet!"

Buffet? "Oh, I am surprised you didnt go for a proper formal meal, thats what I would have done!"

and so on....

So just do what you would usually do for your family and tick off her comments on your mental bingo card because anything you do will be wrong. She is astonishingly insecure and needs to put you down to make herself feel better, so smile, nod and laugh to yourself.

If your DH doesnt like her either, then maybe a full on bingo card in the kitchen would make you both laugh!

Decide on your menu and get a home delivery for early tomorrow morning this will free up loads of time, buy ready made where you can, make it as easy as possible.

Roast a couple of large chickens in the morning. Cool to room temperature.
(Also some chipolatas for the kids?)
Buy salads.
Buy dessert[s).
Buy French sticks, selection of cheeses..

what a pity that you already have plans....

Nothing better than getting everyone’s order and going to the chippy. Serve with fresh crusty bread and butter. Omg - food of the Gods and no work! 😉

What the fuck. Just no to all the suggestions. He invited them, he’s friends with them, he can sort the sodding lunch.

It might just be me, but I often find a buffet is actually more time consuming to put together than just cooking a meal. Someone suggested lasagne which is good as you can make it first thing tomorrow morning then forget about it. Serve it with a dressed salad which can literally just be a couple of bags of mixed salad leaves, cucumber and cherry tomatoes and a bought dressing. Maybe a couple of garlic breads. For pudding either a selection of fruit or chocolate mouse is quick and easy to make.

If you really do want a buffet, maybe a green salad, a potato salad (literally boiled/steamed new potatoes - no need to peel, a decent mayo and add in loads of chives to jazz it up), some nice quiches, maybe a pizza, bread and a selection of cheeses.

Out to lunch with you all. I'd gladly pay for it all if it were me. No way on earth I'd host a judgmental fart in my home as I'd probably knock her block off if she as much as twitched her nose. Nothing will be good enough for these types anyway, their mission in life is to criticise. Nope.

On second thoughts, out to lunch but DH pays. It's his friends missus. Feck that.

Sounds like a problem for your DH to sort.
And if she says anything judgy, have some responses ready.

I would NOT be cleaning like a mad woman and making a beautiful spread for someone that's rude and judgy. Neither would I be inviting them into my home. Fuck that.

Tell dh to say there's been a sudden change of plans and you'll have to reschedule. Then reschedule for a neutral meeting place, and ideally just the blokes.

This ⬆️
Seriously! Why on earth are you doing it?!