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Original poster

Please help me urgently prep for judgy friend visit!!!!!!

213 replies

ByProudDreamer · 20/02/2026 20:02

I have a friend who is super judgemental. I suppose no longer a friend, but my husband is very close friends with her husband, so I try to tolerate her. We meet up frequently, but I try to avoid it being at our house, however at short notice, they’re coming for lunch tomorrow.

I know I shouldn’t change to try to appease anyone else, but I’ll feel more relaxed if I have my house up to a decent standard.

Anyway, hosting is absolutely not my strong point, but I want to do a bit of a buffet for them coming. I have no idea what to buy or where to start, and I also have a fair amount of cleaning to do.

Can you wise mumsnetters please help me come up with an impressive buffet lunch, with minimal effort, to feed 8 (4 adults, 3 teens and 1 younger child). I’d be very grateful for help!

OP posts:
JudgeJ · 20/02/2026 22:58

olympicsrock · 20/02/2026 20:11

I would go to Waitrose, buy nice bread, a pie or quiche , 2-3 types of good cheese, sliced ham grapes, some posh chutney, bag of salad, baby plum tomatoes, cucumber and peppers to slice , nice dips, bits from the salads section like couscous/baby mozzarella balls.

I’d get 2 nice puddings like a lemon tart with raspberries , sticky toffee pud with vanilla ice cream.

That's a lot of trouble and expense for someone who will naturally find faults.. Minimal effort and expense would be my way forward then she may not want to come again!

Chumpfriend · 20/02/2026 22:57

if I could sum up Mumsnet this thread would be it - and everyone should read and judge every other reply, on every other thread, by this one.

daffodilandtulip · 20/02/2026 22:57

Nah, life’s too short for trying to impress judgey pants snobs. They wouldn’t be coming into my home to judge.

Flukingflukes · 20/02/2026 22:53

olympicsrock · 20/02/2026 20:11

I would go to Waitrose, buy nice bread, a pie or quiche , 2-3 types of good cheese, sliced ham grapes, some posh chutney, bag of salad, baby plum tomatoes, cucumber and peppers to slice , nice dips, bits from the salads section like couscous/baby mozzarella balls.

I’d get 2 nice puddings like a lemon tart with raspberries , sticky toffee pud with vanilla ice cream.

This ^

Get everyone who lives in your house tidying and cleaning, especially DH.

Inmyuggs · 20/02/2026 22:52

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Bestfootforward11 · 20/02/2026 22:50

How about doing nibbles and dips and then going for a pub lunch?

marginallyawake · 20/02/2026 22:44

I’d be going to the nearest decent pub. DH would be free to join me with his guests if he felt so inclined. Otherwise not my problem.

whatcanthematterbe81 · 20/02/2026 22:41

BuffetMops · 20/02/2026 20:12

Make a big pot of chunky soup tonight and make or buy a few different types of bread and make a board like this, I did this for Christmas Eve. It requires zero effort though I did make the hummus.

I would be kinda sad if I arrived and was served soup! Just my opinion tho

ChocolateCinderToffee · 20/02/2026 22:41

I’d do a tray full of chicken legs with garlic and lemon, sausages in case there are picky children, naice bread, a massive salad and apple crumble and bought custard for pudding.

And delegate ALL the cleaning to your DH.

BatchCookBabe · 20/02/2026 22:39

Oooh, I know what you can do @ByProudDreamer Indeed what you SHOULD do!

Get a bunch of McDonalds Happy Meals! All chicken nuggets ones and McFish ones!

Lovelanza · 20/02/2026 22:39

What a load of faff for someone you don’t like ! Waitrose, Ocado, m&s….fuck that snobby shit, just be you

hididdlyho · 20/02/2026 22:37

If they want feeding I would just go to a family friendly chain pub where you don't need to book and split the bill. I would leave your DH in charge of the bulk of the cleaning if it's his friend who he arranged the visit with.

bignosebignose · 20/02/2026 22:37

Don't make any more effort than you would for any other visiting acquaintance, and if she starts making judgy comments just act like you didn't hear them, perhaps attempt to stifle a yawn, and say something totally unconnected to someone else.

Howwilliknow122 · 20/02/2026 22:33

Swiftie1878 · 20/02/2026 20:04

Just make a big lasagne with salad, and some chocolate brownies with berries and cream for dessert.

Edited

If someone cooked this for me id be really happy and thankful. All yummy 😋!

Sugargliderwombat · 20/02/2026 22:29

This sounds a lot like not your problem.

Drink too much and eat some crisps and tzatziki x

Wetcoatsandmudagain · 20/02/2026 22:28

Judgemental = she’s not coming in! The men can meet up at the pub problem solved.

d317 · 20/02/2026 22:25

Drink lots of wine in the kitchen by yourself first.

I’d open up some tins of soup with crusty bread, cheese and olives & grapes.

i certainly wouldn’t be putting myself out for this woman, and I would stare just past her ear hard to disconcert her at the first sign of her judgyness.

LochKatrine · 20/02/2026 22:25

gamerchick · 20/02/2026 22:00

I wonder if men ever post these types of threads somewhere.

Let me think 🤔

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 20/02/2026 22:23

I had to laugh at the McDonalds delivery.

JWhipple · 20/02/2026 22:20

So tomorrow you've got a lovely day to spend by yourself whilst your DH entertains his mate and his wife and the kids?

Sounds amazing. What a thoughtful DH. maybe take yourself off to meet some friends , or just have a wander round a national trust and sit and relax with the paper and a scone.

Venicelagoon · 20/02/2026 22:20

Best idea is to go down pub and make the men pay the price. Let thecwoman be judgey there.

HugoThatway · 20/02/2026 22:16

Free range chicken and massive salad?

I'd take them to a pub.

Thankyouitwasdelicious · 20/02/2026 22:05

I would be steaming at the lack of notice but I agree that shoving a couple of chickens in the oven with whatever combination of herbs/lemon/olive oil you can get, plus bought tarted-up salad (add some broken up walnut pieces, olives, bits of feta, whatever) is probably the least stressful. Baked potatoes. Bought pudding. So long as he goes off to buy the chickens while you clean the loo.

Anyusernamewilldo8963 · 20/02/2026 22:03

Not super helpful maybe but if shes that judgy you could lay on a feast fit for royalty and it wouldn't be good enough by the sounds of it so I suggest a change of mindset, do what is easiest for you and suits you knowing that she will judge regardless and learn a couple of phrases to repeat in light of any nasty/rude comments, saying did you mean to sound so rude is a good one but if you've not got the confidence to call it out directly like that then something neutral repeated everytime will let her know that she ain't getting under your skin today and you no longer give a flying fuck what she thinks. Get DH on board to back you up as well either at a more direct level or more neutral if that's what you are more comfortable with

Dpresst · 20/02/2026 22:03

Fuck that. Let your husband sort it out they’re his friends. I’d be off out for the day, no regrets.