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Original poster

Please help me urgently prep for judgy friend visit!!!!!!

213 replies

ByProudDreamer · 20/02/2026 20:02

I have a friend who is super judgemental. I suppose no longer a friend, but my husband is very close friends with her husband, so I try to tolerate her. We meet up frequently, but I try to avoid it being at our house, however at short notice, they’re coming for lunch tomorrow.

I know I shouldn’t change to try to appease anyone else, but I’ll feel more relaxed if I have my house up to a decent standard.

Anyway, hosting is absolutely not my strong point, but I want to do a bit of a buffet for them coming. I have no idea what to buy or where to start, and I also have a fair amount of cleaning to do.

Can you wise mumsnetters please help me come up with an impressive buffet lunch, with minimal effort, to feed 8 (4 adults, 3 teens and 1 younger child). I’d be very grateful for help!

OP posts:
SeashellHouse · 21/02/2026 11:02

OptiMumm · 21/02/2026 10:57

Guest toilet! Love this blind assumption! 🤣🤣

Do you also confess to being out of touch with reality?

Show quote history

I assume that poster just means ‘whichever loo guests will use’, though? Whether that’s a downstairs one or the family bathroom.

OptiMumm · 21/02/2026 10:57

UltimateLuxury · 21/02/2026 08:39

Not food related but I confess to being a bit judgy…

Make sure guest toilet is clean, nice hand wash and a clean towel.

Guest toilet! Love this blind assumption! 🤣🤣

Do you also confess to being out of touch with reality?

UltimateLuxury · 21/02/2026 08:39

Not food related but I confess to being a bit judgy…

Make sure guest toilet is clean, nice hand wash and a clean towel.

Rituelec · 21/02/2026 07:25

Sahara123 · 20/02/2026 20:10

I’d probably go out. Without telling her 🤣

Honest, my husband had a friend like this with a wife who came and I used to work myself into a frenzy over it. Last time I just went out. I didnt tidy into oblivion or prepare food. I got over the fact she will be judging and just practiced out of sight out of mind.

Tigercrane · 21/02/2026 07:11

OptiMumm · 20/02/2026 20:10

Are you nuts OP?

You're not actually friends with the judgemental cow but your husband is friends with her husband, yet YOU'RE doing the cooking, hosting and cleaning?

Cop yourself on.

Let the husband meet the other husband seperately from tour home.Why should you have your peace of mind strained in your own home.I would have behaved the same as you in the past though.
Your home should be your sanctuary nobody who criticises you.need step ove rthe threshold.

whatcanthematterbe81 · 21/02/2026 06:53

JudgeJ · 20/02/2026 23:00

If you a hyper-judgemental person it's all, even more than, you deserve.

Show quote history

Can just about work out what you’re saying. Bit of wine last night I was it? Same here 😂😂

CookingFatCat · 21/02/2026 00:24

Does your DB run around after your visiting friends?

Why do you care so much, she’ll still be judgy and you’ll have run yourself ragged for somebody you don’t like!

If your DH invited them let him crack on organising and cooking and tell him you’ll help if he tells you what to do.

Dragonscaledaisy · 21/02/2026 00:13

Hire a private chef - just let your DH know to expect the invoice😁

Moseyonby · 21/02/2026 00:06

just buy 4 or 5 varieties of pizza, some garlic bread and make a bowl of salad. Also buy some ready cut up fruit for afterwards.

MrsCristoforou · 20/02/2026 23:45

gamerchick · 20/02/2026 22:00

I wonder if men ever post these types of threads somewhere.

Haha I wonder that all the time on MN! And I don't mean to disparage women with that comment.

Catssuddenlyappear · 20/02/2026 23:45

OptiMumm · 20/02/2026 20:10

Are you nuts OP?

You're not actually friends with the judgemental cow but your husband is friends with her husband, yet YOU'RE doing the cooking, hosting and cleaning?

Cop yourself on.

Exactly - I'd take myself out for a nice lunch instead, this sounds like shit weekend

OriginalUsername2 · 20/02/2026 23:43

Madness. A judgey person will find something to comment on. Don’t waste your time and energy on trying to impress this person.

ComedyGuns · 20/02/2026 23:39

Swiftie1878 · 20/02/2026 20:04

Just make a big lasagne with salad, and some chocolate brownies with berries and cream for dessert.

Edited

You’ve just suggested one of the hardest meals to get right if you’ve never done it before, and it also takes forever,..

MsSmartShoes · 20/02/2026 23:32

Pizza dough twists with dips
tabouleh
small chicken schnitzels
pasta pesto salad
tomato and red onion salad
olives
cheesy potato skins

SouthLondonMum22 · 20/02/2026 23:29

Let me guess, it is short notice because DH invited them?

In that case, he is the host. Why on earth are you even considering running yourself ragged for someone who is going to judge no matter what because they clearly aren't a nice person?

Either change plans and book somewhere for lunch or tell DH that it is his problem and take yourself out for the day. They are his friends.

PyongyangKipperbang · 20/02/2026 23:25

"Pombear anyone?"

Chinsupmeloves · 20/02/2026 23:22

Get a takeaway, call her out on her attitude, you don't have to tolerate friends like this and neither does your DH. His friend who is married to her surely knows what's she's like and will understand a no nonsense approach to her staying over.

dundermiffling · 20/02/2026 23:18

Arrrrrrgh why did I open this thread - the ‘crusty bread’ brigade are here in force

HisNotHes · 20/02/2026 23:16

Swiftie1878 · 20/02/2026 20:04

Just make a big lasagne with salad, and some chocolate brownies with berries and cream for dessert.

Edited

This is almost word for word what I’d have suggested.

PyongyangKipperbang · 20/02/2026 23:10

Further to my earlier reply.....

Who did the inviting? The one who did the inviting is the one who hosts. So you leave the house tomorrow am and arrive back just AFTER they arrive (wait in the car if needs be!). Then you walk in with a cheerful "Oh lovely to see you! DH, what are we having for lunch?!"

No one extends my hospitality without my prior agreement.

5128gap · 20/02/2026 23:09

Relax and do whatever you'd do if these visitors were your real friends. Because if its good enough for people you care about, then surely its good enough for her. Trying to aspire to be different to please people who you think will judge you is a mugs game. If they're going to judge they might as well judge who you really are.

user1464187087 · 20/02/2026 23:06

Strawberryfruitstarburst · 20/02/2026 20:22

This is how I would prepare.

Go to booking. com
Find myself a nice hotel
pack my case
leave my house
Return after departure of judgey guest

So would I.
I like your style!

BrickBiscuit · 20/02/2026 23:05

You can't win this one. If you go to M&S she'll judge you for not going to Waitrose. If you go to Waitrose, she'll judge you for not going to Fortnum & Mason. If you make it yourself she'll judge the standard of your cooking. Fuck her - just put out what you want. By the way, who designated you the maid?

JudgeJ · 20/02/2026 23:00

whatcanthematterbe81 · 20/02/2026 22:41

I would be kinda sad if I arrived and was served soup! Just my opinion tho

Show quote history

If you a hyper-judgemental person it's all, even more than, you deserve.