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Original poster

Please help me urgently prep for judgy friend visit!!!!!!

213 replies

ByProudDreamer · 20/02/2026 20:02

I have a friend who is super judgemental. I suppose no longer a friend, but my husband is very close friends with her husband, so I try to tolerate her. We meet up frequently, but I try to avoid it being at our house, however at short notice, they’re coming for lunch tomorrow.

I know I shouldn’t change to try to appease anyone else, but I’ll feel more relaxed if I have my house up to a decent standard.

Anyway, hosting is absolutely not my strong point, but I want to do a bit of a buffet for them coming. I have no idea what to buy or where to start, and I also have a fair amount of cleaning to do.

Can you wise mumsnetters please help me come up with an impressive buffet lunch, with minimal effort, to feed 8 (4 adults, 3 teens and 1 younger child). I’d be very grateful for help!

OP posts:
SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 21/02/2026 18:50

Where is your husband in all of this?
Does he know she makes you feel? You come first not his friend.

Let him choose what you eat and let him cook it.

Otherwise
I would insist that you go out for a meal. Make some excuse. And then let her choose the restaurant. Then if it doesn't meet her standards she can criticise ithe restaurant and not you.

Lastly, you need to tell her you are sick of her criticisms and judgements and are not putting up with it anymore

DPotter · 21/02/2026 18:49

Playing devil's advocate here...

Don't go too overboard - they'll want to come back.

Basic / standard clean of bathroom - get your DH to do it

pate, cheese and breads
forget desert - maybe a few grapes

No alcohol - it's lunchtime and drinking at lunchtime doesn't agree with me.

have a thing to do at 3pm (adjust time to suit) so there's a natural and early end.

And yes most definitely challenge any judgement immediately, even if it's to say "Wow, did you mean to come across like that ? Bit un-necessary"

And next time - let the husbands meet up alone

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 21/02/2026 18:39

Now, i’m starving!

Julimia · 21/02/2026 18:39

Make a chilli; do some jacket potatoes, get some tacos. Get some fruit melon, strawberries etc and make a platter ?Some chocolate brownies and some ice cream. Job done!

PUGMEISTER21 · 21/02/2026 18:23

ByProudDreamer · 20/02/2026 20:02

I have a friend who is super judgemental. I suppose no longer a friend, but my husband is very close friends with her husband, so I try to tolerate her. We meet up frequently, but I try to avoid it being at our house, however at short notice, they’re coming for lunch tomorrow.

I know I shouldn’t change to try to appease anyone else, but I’ll feel more relaxed if I have my house up to a decent standard.

Anyway, hosting is absolutely not my strong point, but I want to do a bit of a buffet for them coming. I have no idea what to buy or where to start, and I also have a fair amount of cleaning to do.

Can you wise mumsnetters please help me come up with an impressive buffet lunch, with minimal effort, to feed 8 (4 adults, 3 teens and 1 younger child). I’d be very grateful for help!

Just call her out on it. "You are very judgemental arnt you?"

pinkyredrose · 21/02/2026 17:44

Mumofteentwins · 21/02/2026 15:47

There are some great suggestion on this thread but definitely not quiche! It’s so boring and not impressive at all and there are so many other nicer dishes.

The best suggestion is for Op to fuck off somewhere and let her husband sort the food.

godmum56 · 21/02/2026 16:52

Mumofteentwins · 21/02/2026 15:47

There are some great suggestion on this thread but definitely not quiche! It’s so boring and not impressive at all and there are so many other nicer dishes.

sounds perfect to me, especially if served straight out of the packet.

Mumofteentwins · 21/02/2026 15:47

There are some great suggestion on this thread but definitely not quiche! It’s so boring and not impressive at all and there are so many other nicer dishes.

godmum56 · 21/02/2026 15:44

HugoThatway · 21/02/2026 15:40

On come on, it needs a bottle of tomato ketchup or salad cream to make it a meal.

Show quote history

the lack of which shows how pissed off she is!!

HugoThatway · 21/02/2026 15:40

godmum56 · 21/02/2026 13:39

wins the thread

Show quote history

On come on, it needs a bottle of tomato ketchup or salad cream to make it a meal.

HK04 · 21/02/2026 14:15

OptiMumm · 20/02/2026 20:10

Are you nuts OP?

You're not actually friends with the judgemental cow but your husband is friends with her husband, yet YOU'RE doing the cooking, hosting and cleaning?

Cop yourself on.

Yup. If she’s going to judge, let her judge being invited for lunch which ends up being zero lunch… can’t you have a sudden emergency and let DH deal with it all? Next time say no.

godmum56 · 21/02/2026 13:39

ChuckJacksonIvegottheNeedNSoul · 21/02/2026 13:14

A can of spam
Cheap white loaf plonked on the table
And go out.

Show quote history

wins the thread

OptiMumm · 21/02/2026 13:28

UltimateLuxury · 21/02/2026 13:25

Okay I’ll bite at my laughable assumption.
I am prepared to be mocked but have just looked and the average 3 bed house in the UK has 2.5 toilets apparently.
I “assumed” hosting 4 adults, 3 teenagers and a younger child was not happening in a one/two bedroom flat.
Regardless- it doesn’t matter- which ever bathroom guests are using should be clean IMO

Show quote history

I “assumed” hosting 4 adults, 3 teenagers and a younger child was not happening in a one/two bedroom flat.

Another strange assumption but ok.

UltimateLuxury · 21/02/2026 13:25

OptiMumm · 21/02/2026 11:20

Do you have any idea how many houses and flats in the UK have only one toilet?

Such a laughable assumption that there may be more than one.

In fact 'may' wouldn't have been so bad. It's the assumption there's another toilet or a 'guest toilet' that's silly.

Show quote history

Okay I’ll bite at my laughable assumption.
I am prepared to be mocked but have just looked and the average 3 bed house in the UK has 2.5 toilets apparently.
I “assumed” hosting 4 adults, 3 teenagers and a younger child was not happening in a one/two bedroom flat.
Regardless- it doesn’t matter- which ever bathroom guests are using should be clean IMO

LilyBunch25 · 21/02/2026 13:19

Strawberryfruitstarburst · 20/02/2026 20:22

This is how I would prepare.

Go to booking. com
Find myself a nice hotel
pack my case
leave my house
Return after departure of judgey guest

Yep. I so don't have time or would make time for someone like this, sorry. Way too many other things that are far more important than whether someone I don't even consider a friend is going to go all trip adviser over my toilet facilities or catering....

ChuckJacksonIvegottheNeedNSoul · 21/02/2026 13:14

gamerchick · 20/02/2026 20:28

Why?

Just put some sarnies and pom bears out.

Or let your husband sort it

A can of spam
Cheap white loaf plonked on the table
And go out.

godmum56 · 21/02/2026 13:12

Swiftie1878 · 21/02/2026 12:30

🤷🏼‍♀️ surely the vast majority have made lasagne and chocolate brownies before?! That’s all there is to cook!

Could prep both in about 45 minutes!!

Show quote history

nope. I don't like lasagne and make brownies out of a packet mix.

GinaandGin · 21/02/2026 12:58

OptiMumm · 20/02/2026 20:10

Are you nuts OP?

You're not actually friends with the judgemental cow but your husband is friends with her husband, yet YOU'RE doing the cooking, hosting and cleaning?

Cop yourself on.

This 100
And I would like to know who did the inviting?
Op says she isn't a host
So why do it
No bloody way would I have that judgemental madam in my home
I'd be suggesting a pub lunch and I'd only be doing it to please DH... and boy would he know about it

Swiftie1878 · 21/02/2026 12:30

ComedyGuns · 20/02/2026 23:39

You’ve just suggested one of the hardest meals to get right if you’ve never done it before, and it also takes forever,..

Show quote history

🤷🏼‍♀️ surely the vast majority have made lasagne and chocolate brownies before?! That’s all there is to cook!

Could prep both in about 45 minutes!!

pinkyredrose · 21/02/2026 11:24

What's your husband doing to prepare for thier visit?

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 21/02/2026 11:24

She does sound a pain in the arse, but, to be honest, I’m more pissed off with the OP’s husband.
How generous of him to ask people over, when he’s doing fuck all to help.
No cooking, no shopping and no cleaning.

I’d be telling him that there’s a change of plan. We’re going out for dinner.

godmum56 · 21/02/2026 11:22

its an intersting thread....there seem to be two schools of thought here....well three actually....school one is suggesting making a ridiculous amount of effort, school two is suggesting less effort but stiil indicating that the situation is reasonable....school three is saying some version of bugger off out and leave them to it. On the information....as though partner has presented it as fait accompli...I am deffo school three.

OptiMumm · 21/02/2026 11:20

SeashellHouse · 21/02/2026 11:02

I assume that poster just means ‘whichever loo guests will use’, though? Whether that’s a downstairs one or the family bathroom.

Show quote history

Do you have any idea how many houses and flats in the UK have only one toilet?

Such a laughable assumption that there may be more than one.

In fact 'may' wouldn't have been so bad. It's the assumption there's another toilet or a 'guest toilet' that's silly.

godmum56 · 21/02/2026 11:19

Peclet · 21/02/2026 11:11

Buffet is too much of a faff?? And also a bit summery?

i would make any of these-
beef stew served with crusty bread and a lemon garlic zest topping (Jamie Oliver)
chicken basque (delia)
fennel and bean stew with crusty bread (bbc good food)

pudding would be berries, cream
and home made brownies or bought brownies.

basically a one pot wonder that you can cook. Today and will be super delicious tomorrow

FFS why?

Peclet · 21/02/2026 11:11

Buffet is too much of a faff?? And also a bit summery?

i would make any of these-
beef stew served with crusty bread and a lemon garlic zest topping (Jamie Oliver)
chicken basque (delia)
fennel and bean stew with crusty bread (bbc good food)

pudding would be berries, cream
and home made brownies or bought brownies.

basically a one pot wonder that you can cook. Today and will be super delicious tomorrow