Please help me urgently prep for judgy friend visit!!!!!!

Decant what into containers and why?

Thanks for explaining that sliced garlic bread does not need further slicing.

What on earth do you mean by passing on your sister's recipe to OP and via whose husband - yours or OP's?

You know this alleged lunch would have happened yesterday, don't you?

I really hope the OP sacked this shit off, went to the pub and got a wee bit tipsy, then rolled home and told L'il Miss Judgy (and her "D"H if he organised this) to fuck off!

@ByProudDreamer

Oh this! Please say you did this?

How did it go, OP? 😉

I would just buy everything in from a "nice" shop. Homemade quiche is good. Garlic bread and salad. You can get the sliced garlic bread pieces so you dont need to slice it. Decant into containers. Heat up in oven. If you can be bothered jazz salad up a bit by adding stuff eg Feta, olives. As once happened to me, I was asked for the pudding recipe my sister sent it to me via email, amazed it turned out so well, will pass it onto you through husband. Make is as easy as possible OP. Open the windows for 20 mins, Flowers and a reed diffuser. Clean the loo, hoover. 2 hours tops between you both including shopping.

pinny???????? A PINNY???????

In your position, I would get professional cleaners and then a Marie Kondo organiser for 2 -3 days at £7k/day.to sort your cupboards. I would get a dental teeth whitening course, a tummy tuck, a face lift and then hire a professional stylist to sort out makeup, hair and then change your wardrobe using a personal shopper. Then I would suggest contacting local Michelin starred restaurants to see whether they do catering. In the days preceding the meetup, I would read the economist, The Times, The Guardian, the FT and a range of literature as well as poetry like Shelley, Keats and Wordsworth to engage in meaningful conversation. Anything less would invite criticism.

Why do you feel the need to impress?
I'd put the worst spread on just to see her whining face.

Feign a migraine take to bed and leave DH to be the hostess with the mostess!

I know. Rude of them imo.

Yes, lunch has happened. How did it go then?

The OP hasn't been back dudes.

I'd just do picky bits: charcuterie, cheeses, crackers, pate, dips, breads, salmon, maybe some pastries and a fruit platter to finish. If you wanted to do something easy you could do a soup and rolls and then picky bits.

Chilli crusty down in slow cooker ,bread baguette , icecream with some berries…I would t go all out on this occasion. What ever you do will be wrong so make life simple foe yourself.

This
Even if OP had the house immaculate ... anthea turner meets bree van de kamp.. Mrs hinch level of clean
And makes a nigella level of meal
I just know this judgey woman will still make an ignorant comment
To make her insecure self feel like a big girl
I would not be going along with the nonsense

THIS! I voted you are being unreasonable - for even entertaining this idea. Why are you bothering to make an effort? Judgy people need something to judge to make themselves feel better, so don't make an effort - make her life easier. Sainsbury's lasagne, garlic bread, prewashed salad, shop ice-cream. Don't clean.

Burrata salad - looks fancy, and it's delicious!

Chop up cherry tomatoes, parsley, red onion, add red wine vinegar, then place the burrata on top

Beautiful!

Clean wise just make sure the house smells nice as well as looking clean and dust the skirting boards and blinds etc (if YOU want to, don't feel obligated, but I also like to make sure my house is in order if anyone is coming over)

Lunch wise

Bread, cheese, humous, meats, olives etc

OR chilli and rice / jacket potatoes

lasagne and salad and a nice pizza to cook in the oven

Christ no
Why go to so much trouble and expensive for this walking bitch of a madam
I'd be taking myself off for the day and DH could sort it out
Might make DH learn not to be so free and easy with his invites in the future
I wouldn't be kow towing to some judgemental cow.
On my weekend
On my free time
No bloody way

The words judgy and friend are an oxymoron

Get a cleaning company to do a one off clean for you the day before, or early morning of the visit, so you have time to prepare the food. Have you got a Slow cooker? Chicken casserole then serve with rice [ 2min, microwave rice is VERY handy] or buttery new potatoes, [ready done from the supermarket unless your short of cash having paid for the cleaner.] I find apple crumble is ALWAYS popular, I think because not many people bother to make it these days. Again ready made custard is risk free and ice-cream option. Cheese board with grapes and mixed crackers. Stick to what you know. Most people these days just appreciate ordinary cooking. If the kids are likely to reject the casserole, cook some sausages. If you want a veggie option then Macaroni cheese, with sliced hard boiled eggs mixed in with a really good layer of cheese browned on top is hard to beat. Serve with garlic bread.[ goes with the casserole as well. Most of this food can be done early and kept hot. If you must for conventions sake, throw in a bag of green salad leaves and a few little tomatoes. I find its usually left anyway so I don't bother. You can have a fruit bowl as well, in case Mrs Fancy Pants is dieting so there's something she can scoff. All this food can be eaten buffet style, but do have somewhere for them to put drinks down etc. Or serve it at the dining room table which is more sociable. The teens can have their own area if you prefer. Good Luck, don't panic. Oh Get yourself ready early and wear a pinny, If you look like a domestic goddess you'll feel more confident.

Greetings original commenter 💚
I'm so sorry to hear this acquaintance is so judgemental 🫂
I empathise wholeheartedly & I'm presuming she'll have been & gone by now
I'm praying others comments here have helped you -
You don't deserve her judgement & I completely comprehend how you wish to remain on pleasant terms with her due to your husband being close friends with her husband 🫂
Remember those who usually feel the need to judge others, feel very insecure about something within themselves
Wishing You&Yours all the utmost very best 💚 🫂 💚

Lasagna is notoriously difficult to get right, especially if not used to it. Consistency is often tricky, with the result being too runny.

Oh dear you are a better person than me

Last time I was in this scenario, I just got cheeses and salad and bread in

and done bottles of wine

i done with hosting for people I do not care about. If it is DH friend who matters, HE can do the hostessing duties

I popped back to see how the OP got on, but I see special posters are still offering their helpful advice, hours after the alleged event was supposed to have taken place.

I would get two french sticks, cheeses, and raid the marks and spencer party food and picky bits section, get a fancy puzza and two quiches and just lay it all out nicely . Put some plates out and some coleslaw and that would be that.
Desert would be a cake, again from marks and put on a nice plate.
Because i am not going to ever prepare a whole meal forsomeone that will sit in judgement over my cooking.