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Original poster

Please help me urgently prep for judgy friend visit!!!!!!

213 replies

ByProudDreamer · 20/02/2026 20:02

I have a friend who is super judgemental. I suppose no longer a friend, but my husband is very close friends with her husband, so I try to tolerate her. We meet up frequently, but I try to avoid it being at our house, however at short notice, they’re coming for lunch tomorrow.

I know I shouldn’t change to try to appease anyone else, but I’ll feel more relaxed if I have my house up to a decent standard.

Anyway, hosting is absolutely not my strong point, but I want to do a bit of a buffet for them coming. I have no idea what to buy or where to start, and I also have a fair amount of cleaning to do.

Can you wise mumsnetters please help me come up with an impressive buffet lunch, with minimal effort, to feed 8 (4 adults, 3 teens and 1 younger child). I’d be very grateful for help!

OP posts:
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MeSeM · 11/03/2026 11:05

thetinsoldier · 10/03/2026 16:21

As a reminder for next time, these are your h’s friends, so your h should be equally involved in cooking, cleaning, tidying, hosting, clearing up…

Yes & even her husband should most likely be responsible for all of what is involved, in preparation for these friends of his-if these "friends" of his, continue to be snobby & sitting in judgement of his beloved wife💚

thetinsoldier · 10/03/2026 16:23

CovenOfCheeses · 22/02/2026 09:54

In your position, I would get professional cleaners and then a Marie Kondo organiser for 2 -3 days at £7k/day.to sort your cupboards. I would get a dental teeth whitening course, a tummy tuck, a face lift and then hire a professional stylist to sort out makeup, hair and then change your wardrobe using a personal shopper. Then I would suggest contacting local Michelin starred restaurants to see whether they do catering. In the days preceding the meetup, I would read the economist, The Times, The Guardian, the FT and a range of literature as well as poetry like Shelley, Keats and Wordsworth to engage in meaningful conversation. Anything less would invite criticism.

😂😂😂

thetinsoldier · 10/03/2026 16:21

As a reminder for next time, these are your h’s friends, so your h should be equally involved in cooking, cleaning, tidying, hosting, clearing up…

Gossipisgood · 10/03/2026 15:14

Do a nice charcuterie board with cold meats & cheeses. Crackers, nuts, fruit, mini pork pies, veg sticks, dips, olives, sundried tomatos etc. then do a smaller sweet board with mini cakes, scones & biscuits.

MeSeM · 04/03/2026 21:00

Rainallnight · 23/02/2026 16:00

This is very much my view. Who did the inviting?

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Most likely the men who are friends, recommended lovely original commenter did the slaving over the hot stove 😥💔

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 02/03/2026 13:45

LeedsLoiner · 23/02/2026 15:57

I'd do a massive buffet of children's party food, Dairylea triangles, Monster Munch, fruit, Penguins and party bags with toys from the 99P Stores in them....

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That actually sounds pretty good!

pinkyredrose · 02/03/2026 13:41

ByProudDreamer · 23/02/2026 12:11

I’m very sorry for not returning sooner. It was a busy weekend - cleaning, cooking, hosting and then decompressing!!

Very grateful for the advice that a buffet would be more work. I went for chilli in the end, with nachos, rice and a home made guacamole.

No idea if our visitor was impressed, but they all ate a plateful, so that’s a good sign.

Why did you do all that?

SingtotheCat · 02/03/2026 13:11

OptiMumm · 20/02/2026 20:10

Are you nuts OP?

You're not actually friends with the judgemental cow but your husband is friends with her husband, yet YOU'RE doing the cooking, hosting and cleaning?

Cop yourself on.

This.

EvieBB · 02/03/2026 13:05

gamerchick · 20/02/2026 20:28

Why?

Just put some sarnies and pom bears out.

Or let your husband sort it

😂

PeppyRoseBeaker · 24/02/2026 22:05

Feign illness

CovenOfCheeses · 23/02/2026 17:43

ByProudDreamer · 23/02/2026 12:11

I’m very sorry for not returning sooner. It was a busy weekend - cleaning, cooking, hosting and then decompressing!!

Very grateful for the advice that a buffet would be more work. I went for chilli in the end, with nachos, rice and a home made guacamole.

No idea if our visitor was impressed, but they all ate a plateful, so that’s a good sign.

Glad it went well. I would send her a present (around £100) and a bunch of flowers with a card asking her to leave you with an honest google review and any critiques of your hosting so that you can improve in future.

Ohfuckrucksack · 23/02/2026 16:22

I'm more in the 'give her something to judge you about'

but I'm like that. My husband would sigh a bit and probably sensibly suggest we don't meet them at our house.

Which would be a win.

Don't let yourself be treated this way OP.

Rainallnight · 23/02/2026 16:00

OptiMumm · 20/02/2026 20:16

Christ, would all of you giving suggestions really do all the cooking, cleaning and hosting for this woman just because the blokes are friends??

OP, why on earth didn't you tell your husband to either host it himself, or better still to suggest a meal in a restaurant?

This is very much my view. Who did the inviting?

LeedsLoiner · 23/02/2026 15:57

Snakebite61 · 22/02/2026 09:31

Why do you feel the need to impress?
I'd put the worst spread on just to see her whining face.

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I'd do a massive buffet of children's party food, Dairylea triangles, Monster Munch, fruit, Penguins and party bags with toys from the 99P Stores in them....

WaIIy · 23/02/2026 15:48

Check your email, didn't you just get that hospital appointment you were waiting for??

BrickBiscuit · 23/02/2026 15:02

ByProudDreamer · 23/02/2026 12:11

I’m very sorry for not returning sooner. It was a busy weekend - cleaning, cooking, hosting and then decompressing!!

Very grateful for the advice that a buffet would be more work. I went for chilli in the end, with nachos, rice and a home made guacamole.

No idea if our visitor was impressed, but they all ate a plateful, so that’s a good sign.

Goodness, your poor DH (whose close friend's visit caused the judgy woman to come) must be exhausted after doing all that preparation, hosting and debriefing himself. I hope you haven't woken him up with your typing.

NoFiller · 23/02/2026 14:49

Excellent. Glad it went well. Hopefully you included at least some of the other dishes.

NoFiller · 23/02/2026 14:48

I’d recommend keeping it simple but just have a few themed stations that you can set up with minimal effort. Maybe something like this:

Seafood area: live lobster tank, king crab legs on ice sculptures, oysters shucked to order, beluga caviar with mother-of-pearl spoons, seafood towers

Carving station: whole roasted Wagyu ribeye, suckling pig with crackling, free-range turkey, dry-aged beef, slow-roasted lamb, various fresh sauces

Hot food station: truffle risotto, foie gras, handmade pasta, dim sum

International section: sushi and sashimi counter, tandoor oven with fresh naan, Middle Eastern mezze with premium oils, French patisserie display

Desserts: multi-tier chocolate fountain, cheesecake and macaron counters, soufflé station, ice cream bar (make some rare flavours), nice centrepiece cake

Drinks: vintage champagne bar, cocktail bar, sommelier wine area, fresh juice and smoothie station

You don’t necessarily need to include absolutely everything but maybe substitute other things if you have any other preferences.

Original poster
ByProudDreamer · 23/02/2026 12:11

I’m very sorry for not returning sooner. It was a busy weekend - cleaning, cooking, hosting and then decompressing!!

Very grateful for the advice that a buffet would be more work. I went for chilli in the end, with nachos, rice and a home made guacamole.

No idea if our visitor was impressed, but they all ate a plateful, so that’s a good sign.

OP posts:
SeashellHouse · 23/02/2026 11:25

HugoThatway · 23/02/2026 11:13

The visitors were coming on the 21st (2 days ago) and the OP hasn't been back.

Maybe the judgy friend had the OP arrested for insufficient effort? Or discovered the ready meal packaging in the kitchen bin while having a judgy snoop and is holding her hostage till she apologies and vows that next time everything will be homemade, and that she will personally slaughter the meat and grow the salad?

HugoThatway · 23/02/2026 11:13

The visitors were coming on the 21st (2 days ago) and the OP hasn't been back.

whatcanthematterbe81 · 23/02/2026 06:31

JudgeJ · 22/02/2026 23:58

Still looks simple to me! If the visitor is so hyper-critical then a bowl of soup is all she deserves! No wine, don't need it to make things seem more complicated than they are, even though it was my birthday that day!

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Oh crikey we’re still on this one

JudgeJ · 22/02/2026 23:58

whatcanthematterbe81 · 21/02/2026 06:53

Can just about work out what you’re saying. Bit of wine last night I was it? Same here 😂😂

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Still looks simple to me! If the visitor is so hyper-critical then a bowl of soup is all she deserves! No wine, don't need it to make things seem more complicated than they are, even though it was my birthday that day!

Isittimeformynapyet · 22/02/2026 21:28

SeashellHouse · 22/02/2026 19:20

That (mad) poster is suggesting buying readymeals and decanting them out of the foil and plastic into dishes to give the impression of home made-ness. Similarly adding stuff to ready-bagged salad. She was once asked for the recipe of the purportedly homemade pudding she’d actually bought in a shop and had to pretend she’d send it on via the visiting friend’s husband.

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Jeepers. Sounds like a bad sitcom.

I can't believe the insane lengths people have suggested to an OP who never even returned!

Thanks for the explanation 👍🏻

SeashellHouse · 22/02/2026 19:20

Isittimeformynapyet · 22/02/2026 18:53

Decant what into containers and why?

Thanks for explaining that sliced garlic bread does not need further slicing.

What on earth do you mean by passing on your sister's recipe to OP and via whose husband - yours or OP's?

You know this alleged lunch would have happened yesterday, don't you?

Show quote history

That (mad) poster is suggesting buying readymeals and decanting them out of the foil and plastic into dishes to give the impression of home made-ness. Similarly adding stuff to ready-bagged salad. She was once asked for the recipe of the purportedly homemade pudding she’d actually bought in a shop and had to pretend she’d send it on via the visiting friend’s husband.