Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm done.. or did I overreact?

37 replies

Torn0 · 20/02/2026 16:49

Marriage already strained.
Yesterday it was my birthday. I say to my husband "what shall we have for dinner?", thinking he might cook or we'd eat out.
He says "I'm having a nando's".
Aibu to think it should have been worded better or considered what I'd like?
I'm also vegetarian! (Appreciate they do vegetarian options).
I just feel done.

OP posts:
Original poster
Torn0 · 20/02/2026 18:02

plentyofsunshine · 20/02/2026 17:59

What sort of man says "I'm having a nando's" when his wife asks him what shall they eat on her birthday?

A dick, thats what.

Did he at least buy you something wonderful for your birthday

Ha, that made me chuckle!

My present was a 2 night UK mini break which sounds lovely on paper but in reality it's somewhere we've been before so no research or thought needed.

OP posts:
Sartre · 20/02/2026 18:02

Aw yeah that would mark the end for me too. Agreed with PP, the best bday present you could gift yourself is divorce papers. Happy birthday for yesterday.

Original poster
Torn0 · 20/02/2026 18:00

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 20/02/2026 16:51

How did you react?

I mean, absolutely he should be thinking about what you want for dinner on your birthday. What did you have? Had he given you a present?

I was surprised, didnt have time to say anything before my child said he wanted it too...
Only then did my husband say "what will you have?"
And I said I'd go to the supermarket for something (which I did).

OP posts:
plentyofsunshine · 20/02/2026 17:59

What sort of man says "I'm having a nando's" when his wife asks him what shall they eat on her birthday?

A dick, thats what.

Did he at least buy you something wonderful for your birthday

Original poster
Torn0 · 20/02/2026 17:56

Janeaway · 20/02/2026 16:50

What is he like in other ways, OP? Is he considerate? Does he pull his weight around the home?

No, for many years he has done very little to help me. At the end of last year I made a rota as was at my wits end and now he does do some chores.

OP posts:
Pancakesbythedozen · 20/02/2026 16:54

My exh ruined my 40th. He was an exh before I was 41..

sorrynotathome · 20/02/2026 16:53

Many Happy Returns for yesterday, @Torn0 . LTB.

ItsOnlyHobnobs · 20/02/2026 16:53

It’s a tricky one, as if you want to end a relationship you can do so for any reason/the straw that broke the camels back.

For me personally, if I wanted to do something specific on my birthday, I’d have had the discussion ahead of time suggesting we go out/that I’d like him to cook something I enjoy.

But I imagine in the wider landscape of your relationship, frustrations have built up and maybe you are done, maybe you need a frank discussion to say you feel like that if you think it’s worth fighting for the relationship.

pinkyredrose · 20/02/2026 16:52

Janeaway · 20/02/2026 16:50

What is he like in other ways, OP? Is he considerate? Does he pull his weight around the home?

Does he sound considerate?

pinkyredrose · 20/02/2026 16:51

He's a twat. Give yourself the best present and dump this useless arsehole.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 20/02/2026 16:51

How did you react?

I mean, absolutely he should be thinking about what you want for dinner on your birthday. What did you have? Had he given you a present?

Janeaway · 20/02/2026 16:50

What is he like in other ways, OP? Is he considerate? Does he pull his weight around the home?