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Original poster

To think that stimming (especially destructive or very intense) is potentially not helpful or even harmful in the long run?

135 replies

ThatWaryGreenBiscuit · 20/02/2026 12:38

I’ve seen a lot of advice that stimming behaviour in individuals with autism or adhd is helpful and regulating, however instinctively this feels wrong to me.

The brain is plastic and can be trained to expect certain things and I feel like that failing to redirect ourselves or our children to more healthy ways of experiencing overwhelm is only making stimming worse. And possibly the overwhelm worse in the long term.

this is backed up by several Reddit threads, where people said allowing themselves to stim, made the stimming worse, but the mainstream opinion is to let the stimming happen.

Instead of teaching life skills and how to get through day in an off ten overstimulating world, is it healthier to rely on potentially problematic behaviour as a way of getting by.

I know I’m probably kicking a hornets nest here, but this is not to suggest that ALL stimming is bad or anything like that. We don’t know everything about the brain or our behaviour, so I think it’s good to discuss things so we can work towards helping everyone rub along together. I hope this makes sense.

OP posts:
LiftAndCoast · 20/02/2026 12:55

If the autistic person's stimming hurts themselves or others, then yes, helping them find something healthier is a good idea.

If it's something like hand flapping? Get over it. Don't tell children they're wrong or bad for doing something which calms them down just because other people might think it's weird.

Original poster
ThatWaryGreenBiscuit · 20/02/2026 12:55

I guess my question is. Just because it looks harmless, it doesn’t mean it is or there aren’t better ways of navigating things that we haven’t figured out yet.

We are animals and if you have a dog that incessantly chases its tail, no it’s not hurting anyone, but do you think that’s good for the dog mentality? Or do you think it’s better to interrupt and redirect to something less repetitive.

I am particularly wondering if intense repetitive behaviour in itself is not good for the brain if that makes sense.

and just because experts are currently thinking one thing, it doesn’t mean it’s right or they won’t change their minds.

Whilst I’m not an expert I have personal experience myself and my husband and family members children so I am not ignorant of neurodivergence.

OP posts:
BigBrownBoogyingBear · 20/02/2026 12:51

We let my autistic DS stim when he needed to. Before he started Secondary school, we did have a chat about how his stims might be perceived by kids who didn't know him.

He's 16 now and stims a lot less than he used to. So his brain didn't get hardwired into a more-more-more loop. He doesn't stim at all at school.

StormyLandCloud · 20/02/2026 12:50

Sorry, what’s your expertise or even experience with ND children/adults? Also have you heard of actual quantitative and qualitative evidence based, peer reviewed evidence?! … Reddit is not a credible source BTW

Theunamedcat · 20/02/2026 12:48

Depends on the stimming behaviour no parent would "allow" destructive stims but I can bet my temu boots some adults have taken advantage and said they are stimming when they are just being cunty

Adults are the reason children are being failed

Jellybunny56 · 20/02/2026 12:46

I think it really depends. Stimming does serve a purpose for the individual whether that is to relieve anxiety, show excitement, focus on something, regulate etc. Can you teach an autistic child not to stim? Yes, in theory. But teaching them not to doesn’t remove the feeling that actually causes the stimming and so unless you also removed that all you’re going to do is cause more stress which then leads to something far worse. As PP says rather flap hands than punch a wall.

Being trained to suppress stims actually just causes more anxiety, masking which leads to burn out or shut down, it’s not particularly helpful other than I suppose to adults or kids who don’t want to see anything other than “the norm” and that really isn’t a priority.

If it’s harmless, I don’t see why you would be too bothered.

Catza · 20/02/2026 12:45

Instead of teaching life skills and how to get through day in an off ten overstimulating world, is it healthier to rely on potentially problematic behaviour as a way of getting by.

You are conflating two separate issues here. Stimming (at least for me) happens when I am already overstimulated. At that point stimming IS the coping strategy. I do have skills which allow me to cope in overstimulating environments or, I should say, to modify my environment to avoid overstimulation. However, this is not always possible and if I reach the point of no return that's when stimming is the only coping mechanism I have left for self-regulation.

Serencwtch · 20/02/2026 12:41

'This is backed up by several reddit threads'

Yes so proper evidence then?!

Far better to stim than self injury/meltdown etc.

bumptybum · 20/02/2026 12:41

Not sure you fully under what stimming is OP or what falls under ‘stimming’.

TaffetaPhrases · 20/02/2026 12:39

Far better my son flaps his hands than punch a wall.