To be unsure of how much I actually believe on here

Where’d be the point of lying though, it’s an anonymous forum…I also got accused of lying here after I said I got pregnant twice at first time trying past the age of 40. I get it why people might lie in real life, but there’s literally nothing to gain from lying in an online forum where no one knows who you are. I think it’s more likely that there are a lot of people on here, and that people interact with threads that are relevant to them.

People don’t talk openly about regretting becoming parents in real life because it’s a bit taboo. Doesn’t mean these people don’t exist, there is a Facebook group for regretful parents for example.

I avoid the earnings threads. I graduated in 2008 and during the recession was on £15k (yes, full time, and that was normal). The same sorts of jobs in my area are still under £30k. I'll probably never get over around £45k which is a pittance according to Mumsnet.

Parents who have managed to give a sense of purpose to their kids, raise them to have other interests than video games, but go for physical activity and work hard toward their goals?

when so many people just want to slob on the sofa and watch tv every evenings and weekends?
Yes, I'd say having sporty kids is an achievement,

Also, the competitive under eaters. which some of us call normal eater, as opposed to competitive over-eater who must have a family size pizza, garlic bread, jacket potato and I am sure I forget something to start feeling full😂

It's funny, if someone claims that weight jabs make them eat a lot less (and lose weight in the process) they are applauded on there. But if someone is eating the same amount but without the jabs, they're lying?

Just to add the "What disposable income do you have?" are my favorite waste of time.

I assume someone trying to figure out if their budget is looking Ok and if they can afford a Costa with their mate each month. Full of replies of "Myself and my partner have 2k fun money each after money is put aside for investing, pensions, hair and makeup, long term savings, short term savings, medium term savings....."

I don't think the replies are lies though just fortunate people keen to show off.

A lot of threads on MN are 'benchmarking' threads for the average middle who often seem to have a 'crabs in a bucket' mentality.

They also have bird like appetites and can make one chocolate brownie last four days

I more often have the opposite thought - someone says something really mundane like
"We like to have a roast on a Monday because I work on Sundays" ...."you're lying"

"My kids hate bananas" ...."The poster is lying"

"My friend has a car finance agreement that's £400 each month" ...."Why are you lying"

There are 70 million people in the UK. A lot of them are adults that could post on mumsnet if they wanted to yet people are accused of lying about the most mundane things.

I think the skew towards higher earners is just because someone is more likely to write "I have £2000 left each month after all bills can I afford a cleaner" rather than "I have £10 left after all bills can I afford chips for tea?"

The current "Would you vote reform" thread 99% saying no when reform are the most popular party in the polls. People's posting is skewed towards what gets approval/esteem so "do you have debt" most common response is "no, never would I ever" even though many people have debt. "Do you save" most common response yes 2k each month after saving 1k in my pension and £500 in the junior ISA. It's not that people are lying it's that most people that would say "no - I have nothing left to save" just scroll on by as they don't want to hear the "how do you sleep at night with 8k on a credit card" comments.

@Nanda66 I only drink at events, weddings, Christmas, hendos etc, I don't know anyone in my close circle who drinks at home casually, most of us just cba!
Not that a few glasses a week is a problem, just a different perspective!

There's a lot of bullshit on mumsnet.

However I generally believe the wealthy people as I'm on a good salary with no debt. Mumsnet is quite middle class. Lots of less well off but they don't all pile on to shout as much.

If each of those high earning MNetters all send me £10, I might have enough to take my children on one of their fancy 3x a year abroad holidays..

any takers?!

I raise my eyebrows at all the people who think anyone who has more than a glass of wine a week has a drink problem. So many of them! So different to what real life feels like.

Name changed, obviously.

From the outside you’d never know what is going on on other people’s lives so you probably make a lot of false assumptions about people from their outward presentation in person when you meet them. It’s quite likely that what you read here is more honest because it’s anonymous and people disclose things they would not tell anybody but their very closest friends and family.

Outward appearances can be deceiving. I lived alone from when I was in my mid-teens, supporting myself. I had an extremely abusive childhood with social services and the police involved. I lived in poverty for many years.

I’ve also been to one of the best universities in the country and have a professional qualification, earn a six figure salary, own an expensive house, go on holidays that cost 5 figure sums of money, and I am considering moving my children to private school because state school is failing them.

I also am chronically ill, have been a lone parent throughout almost all of my children’s childhood and have never had any family help. My children also have disabilities and have needed extensive medical care that the NHS has often failed to provide so I’ve had to pay for. Day to day life is therefore very difficult with my own health issues and no support and caring for high-needs children and a full time job. At the same time, both of my children are gifted and talented (objectively tested by an educational psychologist) and both are tall and slim and - in my opinion - very attractive (although of course I am biased about that!) and I’m incredibly proud of them for the kind, empathetic, imaginative, curious and intelligent young people they are becoming, despite their challenges.

All of these things are true. My life may be outside the average in both positive and negative ways, but that is the nature of averages and most people will have a combination of circumstances that you would judge to be better or worse than your own in different respects but you’re unlikely to be aware of the full picture unless you know the person extremely well.

You seem to be trying to cateogorise people into different “groups” when in reality even individual people’s life experiences are often far more varied and complex than you seem to imagine, I think perhaps because you are making assumptions about the lives of those you meet in person which may be wildly inaccurate because you will only be seeing one or two facets of their reality unless they are one of the small handful of people you know extremely well who would trust you with or feel it appropriate to disclose their life story to you.

I'd believe you!

My friends found a massive bag of heroin under a bush. This sort of stuff does happen in real life.

The fall out from it read like something irvine welsh could have written, but it was all true.

Those parents you know who appear besotted probably hate parenting, and regret having children, but no way would they admit that!

This is like a bingo…
Don’t forget the posters who
work full time,- Yes
keep a pristine home, -yes
usually 5 bedrooms , three bathrooms - yes
,mdeclutter regularly, - it doesn’t get cluttered but yes I suppose
cook from scratch, - mostly
have a freezer full of homemade meals,- alas no
think nothing of spending £500 a night in a hotel, - yes
have make friends that they go on holiday with and DH doesn’t mind at all, - no
have 5 kids all with some disability, - no
are size 10 and slim, - yes
have £1000 disposable income after bills- yes
do all the cleaning and shopping for elderly parents,- no
don’t expect any contributions from working children towards their keep- yes

I'm not so much worried about the 'boasts' on MN.
I worry more about
(1) completely fictional posts, for example, where the grammar and vocab. starts off picture perfect, then suddenly switches to semi-illiterate stuff, while the ideas lurch between extremities, often involving semi-pornographic material.
It actually pains me that people seem to take them seriously and offer advice.
(2) The amount of smugness and judgement, especially when OPs reveal some kind of vulnerability.
Those pain me again, because they remind me of human cruelty.

Definitely agree with you OP.

The ones who talk about their tall, sporty sons amuse me, like it’s some kind of achievement?

The many who have ‘high earning’ husbands/partners? AS IF!

Also, the competitive under eaters. The ones who claim a small pizza/chicken breast will be enough for three meals 🙄

It's not the people who might or might not exaggerate I find amusing, it's the outrage of the ones who are desperate to convince themselves that no one can have a more fortunate life than they have 😂

The bitterness against people who just get on with their life, and make better - and less lazy -choices than they do is funny.

I think you’d be surprised at how it’s not the minority. All of the women I know had their children after 35 and most of them were in fact 39-45 so are reaping the consequences as their kids sit GCSEs/A Levels as they turn 60 and collect their bus passes… and deal with elderly/dying parents. And yes, they are high earners, because they were unmarried and unencumbered by kids/partners until late 30’s so had careers and their own businesses. And their partners were similarly successful by that stage too.

Most of us in my group didn’t chose men who swear and fart with abandon whoever is around - my DH no doubt does when he’s with his mates/at the rugby/on the annual golf trip, but he’s never sworn or yelled at me or my kids. Now, my parents were violent mutual abusers, so I may have selected my spouse to avoid it happening to me or my kids. Who knows, but ‘saint’ my DH is not. However, yes, he is a good man. And so are 99% of the men we know who are still happily married to their partners of 30 odd years just like we are.

We’ve all had issues - recurrent miscarriage, ND or SEN children, lost a few friends due to cancer or a DUI. It’s not a utopian existence. But I think it’s sad that people think that people like us and our peer group are - or should be - the minority.

We just have normal mundane lives where we respect each other and prioritise our kids and each other.

And I worry to mention my exH cos I think no one would believe me. In my case, that's because I married a complete dick who I now think must have been a 'rolled into one' version of every bad DH/DP ever mentioned on here.
I am sure people will think I'm making it up and that no one is that bad...
Yet there are so many people who seem to have the perfect life, relationship and career, that post on here.

You forgot:

start every day with a brisk 5 mile walk and 20 minutes of meditation. Followed by a peopermint tea because they never drink caffeine.

See also: youtubers who are also full of sh!t

Lots of VERY superior people on here, it's endlessly entertaining, mostly for all the wrong reasons 🤔🤷🏻‍♀️😂

You can find all the data online, it's not that hard. Here's a quick summary

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cn5xw2g6g3qo

Don’t forget the posters who work full time, keep a pristine home, usually 5 bedrooms , three bathrooms ,mdeclutter regularly, cook from scratch, have a freezer full of homemade meals, think nothing of spending £500 a night in a hotel, have make friends that they go on holiday with and DH doesn’t mind at all, have 5 kids all with some disability, are size 10 and slim, have £1000 disposable income after bills, do all the cleaning and shopping for elderly parents, don’t expect any contributions from working children towards their keep…