Was I right to leave?

She posted because her daughter is still being grumpy. But I guess that will change when she needs childcare.

I know that my Mum would have cancelled attending her friends granddaughters christening in order to help out her clearly exhausted daughter who had asked for help.
I also know that I would prioritise my own children above attending a friends granddaughters christening.
So yes, I think YABU.
I understand you had already done a few nights but she clearly needed you and the fact you put another child before helping her out, was a bit unfair. IMO.

If she was so confident she did the right thing, she wouldn't have posted.

The OP is a grown woman who has raised children and who has the intelligence to assess a situation.

Why can’t you give her the benefit of the doubt that if she felt the situation warranted her continued presence, she would have stayed?

This isn’t an absent grandparent, this is a grandmother who regularly travels up to stay and support her dd, she is best placed to decide where she is needed.

My mum would have moved heaven and earth to stay and help me in that situation. You’ve chosen someone’s else’s grandkid over your own. Weird.

It's not "a woman", it's her mum. Who was already there.

And we don't know that the husband isn't supportive and doing his best. After all he will have been worried sick about his child too.

Maybe it's just nice to have the extra help and love around and to want to keep that going a bit longer.

Couples can do it on their own without extra help - but there's no merit badges for struggling when actually family could help.

You were under no obligation to stay. You made your decision to prioritise your friend’s GC over your own…but now your daughter knows exactly where your priorities lie and can adjust her expectations of you accordingly.
For me, if you’re family, you roll your sleeves up and help each other when you’re in the trenches. And that’s never more the case than between a mum and her daughter when she becomes a mother.
My DS was ill for the first three or so months of his life with a condition which stopped him sleeping longer than 45 mins at a time and left him crying for hours. It took several hospital visits before we landed on the medication to fix the problem. My DP was working shifts that he couldn’t miss thanks to my shit maternity pay and so by then I was so sleep deprived that I was having hallucinations. Without my mum, I’d have probably slipped into psychosis.
So yeah, just because you could have stayed doesn’t mean you should have, but don’t expect your daughter to forget or even forgive.

This, people are allowed to have close and meaningful relationships with people outside of their "little family".

I think you do a lot for them as it is And will take further advantage of you whenever they can.So they can keep their.lifestyle..

The father of the baby can support his wife. Why must it be a woman?

The day before! Well that's fine then, I'm sure no-one was tired or upset or still unwell or needed support. 🙄

The baby was discharged the day before. The dd is not a single mum, she has a husband, he needs to step up.

People really need to stop co-opting the nearest female (who has already done her bit) and start holding fathers accountable for their own children.

You are cold too leave for a friend's christening when your own daughter needed you. Obviously circumstances had changed. It doesn't matter if she "knew" when you were supposed to leave.

Im fully aware he was 'referred' to in the OP.

But where does it say anything further about the DH...his input to childcare? Does he work away? Does he work odd shifts? Why can't he help with childcare that means a 3rd person is needed?

The OP managed to get the inference to my post...you didn't. 🤷‍♀️

rather than help the OP, you've just picked holes in PPs responses, hence my initial response. HTH

I would have stayed to help DD. Could not have left just to attend friends granddaughters christening. Am sure they would have understood that family comes first and particularly as you are not close by so not around to help on a regular basis

Oh come on 🙄, your own family are usually considered more important than another family's celebrations. Especially when a baby's been hospitalised.

As a mother herself of two children she shouldn't be relying on her own mother being at her beck and call. What would she do if her mother were incapacitated by illness or injury? Whinge to someone else?? She has two children to look after, not ten.

Sorry?! You asked where the father was but he is referred to in the OP. What’s your issue?

It’s really not your place to decide who christenings are important to.

That is completely bizarre.

Bizarrely am expecting all of the “your mother gave you loads supporting you for 3 days! Woman up!! Will be the posters saying..”your mother gave you LIFE!! Of course you’re at her beck and call when she needs you now!!”

It is important to the parents, grandparents, godparents and close family.

I find it a bit odd for it to be more important to a friend of a grandparent of the child being christened than sticking around to support her own daughter & just out of hospital grandbaby.

ODFOD

I would have stayed. They needed you.

I mean important to a friend of the grandmother of the baby.

Equally, you don’t stop being a person when you have kids, especially when they’re grown up and have kids of their own.

OP is allowed to have friends and want to share their important occasions that she has committed to.

Some people take their commitments seriously. OP had committed 3 nights to her daughter and she met that commitment. She now has a commitment to her friend and wants to meet that too.