Ex wants to stop paying for DC whilst so he can get a mortgage

Just go through CMS and pay the bit extra so if he doesn’t pay you, he’ll end up paying more. They can take it from his pay. Reduce your conflict by using CMS.

Let what go through courts? I would avoid family court if I could it’s very stressful. He might start trying for 5050 and to take the children’s benefits away from you if he’s awarded it (which he’d have the right to do) so take care

If he is employed can you get the money through his pay?

"A proper father would ensure his kids have something NOW when they need it"

He sees them for 4 hours a week. That's barely enough time for you to do a grocery shop and tidy around. I'd go straight to CMS... even if he isn't working, he's liable. Kids need to eat and be clothed and housed. It's not all on you.

I'd go straight to CMS because he's not being consistent

But also, don't stop your kids from seeing their Dad. It's THEIR access.

go through CMS. He can’t just undo having children. I am always furious that men can just up and go and women are stuck doing everything.

‘I don’t want him seeing the kids when he is not even paying me’ you’re totally unreasonable here children aren’t pay per view and deserve to see their parents.

but if he wants to stop child maintenance showing on his bank statements his two options are to either pay you six months upfront, or to pay you in cash instead.

Yanbu to say no to him stopping paying for the kids and taking it through CMS if you have not already. He has a financial obligation to them before buying a house.

However it would be very unreasonable to stop contact with the children because he's not giving you money, two wrongs don't make a right and court would take a dim view of you doing this.

Nobody is giving him a mortgage - the twat.

Anyone in a council property, trying to get out and get on the housing ladder who has been out of work for some time, failed to pay child maintenance and then gets a Mercedes on HP is a wanker bellend who is more interested in his image than reality.

He has been so abusive to you that it is on record. He has withheld CM - and he is asking you a 'favour' - is he for real? I am glad you are standing firm OP, I would be laughing in his face.

Doesn't matter what he told the advisor. It'll all come out once bank requests evidence.

Go through court, if you must.
More broadly, there is no chance in hell he will qualify for a mortgage. The pittance he likely pays for maintenance won't make any difference to his affordability. Plus, he will need to submit bank statements which will clearly show outgoings and no income up until last week (or whenever he will get paid). Utterly bonkers to be hoping to buy a house in these circumstances.

He won’t get a mortgage if he’s only been in a job for a week. Has he got a deposit?

You don't shit on someone then ask them for a favour. That isn't how life works.

NOT that you'd be wrong to say no even if he had been reasonable.

that’s not what the op asked, but it must be nice up there in your glass house.

I want to know would I be unreasonable to just let it all go through the courts?
YANBU

I don't want him seeing the kids when he is not even paying me.
Don't use the kids as weapons, go court or cms

He only see's them for 4 hours on a weekend.
Never had them stay over.
That will be taken into consideration with payments

He does live 45 minutes away however which is a huge factor due to petrol.
Not your problem

He won't get a mortgage without a stable income. And considering he's only just got a job it won't be for a while yet. Think he's living on cloud cuckoo land.

Yes exactly, and once he has a mortgage to pay without factoring his child support amount he likely won't be able to afford to start the payments up again.

So - he can’t afford a mortgage. If you can’t afford a mortgage the bank chuck you out.

He doesn’t sound like a man who thinks things through.

He needs to pay for his children and be grateful he has a flat at a reasonable rent that he won’t get chucked out of. He doesn’t need a Mercedes.

This is just no no no all the way down. No he can’t stop paying for his children. No you do want to help him commit mortgage fraud. No he doesn’t need more space than you when he doesn’t have children living with him. No his decisions are not sensible.

Tell him to pay you 12 months in advance as a compromise… lol I’m sure he won’t . But then he can’t play the you are the baddie card

Don’t they need bank statements going way back? So he’d stop paying for months and months? Once he gets used to not paying that money you’ll never see it again.

Absolutely not. Go through cms and get it done officially but don’t withhold access because that’s a dick move.

He lost the argument at Mercedes

Well too bad. If he’s 43 and still hasn’t purchased a property that’s on him. Wanting to buy a house doesn’t turn back time and undo his parental responsibility.