Ex wants to stop paying for DC whilst so he can get a mortgage

Even if he weren't asking to suspend maintenance, it's not in the DCs best interests for a parent who clearly can't afford a mortgage to give up their secure council tenancy. There are worse things than having a parent who is reliably housed for the whole of their lifetime. Even if it's only a one bed, that's still somewhere they could potentially go if they had to. If one of them has need of a roof in 15 years, him remaining in his council flat means he'll have a sofa to offer.

It would obviously be better for the DC if he were able to afford a house he could leave to them, but based on what you've said here, that's not one of the options being picked from.

I don’t understand why you’re even discussing this with him or having him in the house when he’s so awful. When he sees the children, he needs to take them out away from your home and look after them on his own. This is so that they get proper ‘quality time’ with him and it doesn’t confuse the kids with their father eating dinner as a family. The children have two homes and it doesn’t matter if he feeds them a ready meal, as long as they get fed while they are with him.

For child maintenance, just go to the CMS without telling him. If he’s employed he can’t get out of paying the correct amount, as it will come straight out of his wages.

He is delusional!

Why on earth did you choose to have kids with someone like this?!?!?

Earning £30k will give him a maximum mortgage of about £120k, then his HP payments will reduce this. He will then need 10% deposit plus money for solicitor fees and potentially stamp duty. So how long is it going to take him to save up the £100k he will need???

He will take home about £2000 a month, of which £150 is the car payment, then perhaps £800 rent and bills, £400 food, then petrol, insurance, car tax, having a life etc... At best that's £500 a month left over, so £100,000/500 = 450 months (37 years).

So in short, not paying child maintenance will not make the slightest difference of him ever being able to buy a house!

Just be firm with him and say he has two children and he needs to pay child support until they have completed their education. If he refuses then go through the CMS.

Absolutely not OP
Why does he need a house if he isnt even having his children overnight. Just tell him he either continues paying or you get CMS to do it for him. What a joke

If he can't afford 45 minutes petrol how is he going to save enough for a house? He needs thousands upon thousands of pounds.

Don’t engage with him just go through CMS, what a prince he is

Him buying a house isn’t happening.

He not got steady employment, he has no deposit and currently earns £30k, so would only get a £120k mortgage, not the £250k you say he needs.

Don’t waste your time going to court. They insist on mediation which will slow the process down, and besides you say he won’t want the children to restrict his social life. Just contact CMS for their rightful maintenance.

With a mortgage, how’s he going to afford payments to support his kids?

He said "a proper woman"

ask him to define a proper woman...

Just stop engaging with him apart from to tell him something about the kids. Dont be dragged into conversation. If he stops paying you, take him to child maintenance and do it officially.

Yes, because there is no way this wouldn't turn into a court battle the OP cannot afford to fight. The man needs to pay for what his kids need now.

He won’t get a mortgage anyway with his dodgy employment history. Unless he is paying you 80% of his salary 🙄 it’s going to make no difference in his long term affordability. Plus mortgage applications will ask about dependents and factor in how much they cost. But whatever, no way he’s getting a mortgage anyway. It took us 10 years to save up to afford to buy our house. He needs to start saving and get his finances sorted like the rest of us mere mortals.

Everything else aside, do not get involved in committing mortgage fraud. You'll end up with a. cifas marker against your name and be financially fucked for the rest of your life.

Genuine question... why was he in your house playing with the kids and you cooking him dinner? Like you've said in your OP he is an awful person...

What a fool. I’d take it up with CMS, ask them for direct pay so he has no choice.

A vehicle on HP especially being recent would be a red flag to a mortgage broker anyway. A deposit for a 200K purchase is not small change you can save in 3 months even on a decent salary and no bank is going to lend after 3 months out of work and new employment.
He's just looking for you to agree in writing as proof to stop paying for the kids.

The only bit you are unreasonable about is saying he won't pay you so you don't want him seeing the kids.

I would demand a small percentage share of the house in any future sale for agreeing to this and have it in writing that the children will benefit even should he remarry or move another woman in. I would have it all drawn up with a solicitor that we go to jointly a d retain a copy of any agreement.

Potentially your children would benefit more in the long run from the accumulation in asset value. Particularly if you're not going to save the maintenance. Do your children have savings in an ISA or any other other assets like bonds?

I admit that if I could manage without the maintenance, this would not seem an altogether unreasonable proposition to me.

Illegal then. You don't need to support him in illegal activity. And of course he should financially support his children. If he wants to keep it secret, why not suggest he pays you in cash for a few months?

Do not give an inch. He wants to live above his means, probably so he can pick up women. What he wants, needs, or struggles with - none of that is your problem any more.

With his employment record I doubt he would get a mortgage, surprised he managed to get HP for the Mercedes.

His mortgage lender will ask if he has any children as part of the affordability. He could lie, of course...

You need the financial support to look after your joint kids. He doesn't need a house or a Mercedes.

He should pay for his kids op, they still need a roof over their heads and food to eat

Op he's full of shit. He's not going to try and get a mortgage, he's trying to get money out of you and to stop paying you.

If he's been out of work for a year, has an expensive on HP, has no deposit there's no bank is giving him a mortgage. So the only logical conclusion here is that he's essentially trying to scam you.

Shut that shit down. Don't engage in any further conversation about it and go through cms if he doesn't pay. His kids are his responsibility and he needs to pay for them. Even if he did in an alternate universe secure a home and mortgage, there's nothing to stop him having kids with someone else and leaving it to them. You owe him nothing.

If you agreed to no CM and he got a mortgage then he’d use the mortgage as an excuse not to pay CM.

He owes the kids CM and shouldn’t have got the Merc- that’s going to look dodgier than CM.

Cheeky bugger. Go through the CMS.