Ex wants to stop paying for DC whilst so he can get a mortgage

But he'd be paying it... and if he doesn't pay it, he'd be chased. It'd be deducted from his wage etc.

You shouldn't have to communicate with him about maintenance.

You need to file for CMS, move ALL communication to written (text, email or whatever) and NEVER let him in your home.

He's using you. What a waste of energy and space. He picks the kids up... off they go in his lovely new car and then he brings them home. End of.

He's delusional.

Paying maintenance for his children will have absolutely no impact on his chances of getting a mortgage.

Recently out of works for a couple of months and with no deposit? Who does he actually think is going to lend him the money to buy a house? I'm very surprised he managed to get the finance to buy a car.

Someone like this is not remotely going to be on an adequate salary to get a mortgage. Probably ever.

Can you reframe it to him:

that he is seeking to prioritise buying excess space for him to live in over feeding and clothing his children.

Maybe that will make him realise how selfish he is. He’s not “paying” you. He’s contributing towards feeding and housing his children.

He started work last week, so he hasn’t even paid you one payment yet and he’s asking to “stop”?

Just no - you know the amount he pays is significantly less than the HP on his Merc so its unlikely to make a diff to his mortgage App - the Merc is likely to forstall it all anyway so just say no children's needs are not optional - perhaps he shld sent the car back.

If he was worried about how his finances might look to a mortgage company, why the hell did he feel the need to get a fancy car on HP? Grade A wanker. Thank goodness you’re free of him. CMS, obviously.

This !!

Not your problem. Tell him to feck off.

His is living in dream world about the house.

Firstly he needs a 10% deposit, then they need 6 months of bank statements and 6 months of stability on the account.

It took us years to get money together for our house - it’s laughable he thinks he’ll just get a house.
(At one point I’d started a new job and they needed me to be in that role for 6 months before we even started application).

Also if he is asking not to pay you CM while in mortgage process, does that mean he doesn’t want to pay for at least 6 months? After not paying from Nov - February?

I’d remove myself from any conversations about mortgage with him. Keep it all related to the children.
Get CM sorted - he needs to pay, end of.

Finally, the children are not pawns in a game. You can’t punish them by not seeing their father due to issues over CM.

Good luck OP.

So he wants his kids to suffer so he can benefit?

What about paying for the kids, his responsibility?

I'm not going to say horrible things about your your ex as that doesn't help you and I am sure plenty of others on here have already called him out. My ex stopped paying even the very intermittent amount of child support for our child 3 years in to their life and despite court orders and going through the then CSA as it was in those days he still managed to wriggle out of it. What I did was to structure my life and finances around the assumption that I was never going to get any money from him . I retrained and got a better paid job and we survivived. You will too, it won't be easy but you can do it.

Good point.

OP could suggest this but I’m wondering if that makes it too easy for him to ‘forget to bring it’ or something.

For this alone I’d say absolutely not.

This is his way of stopping it forever because he’ll claim he can’t afford it with the new mortgage.

Have you put his earnings into a maintenance calculator to see how much he should be paying?
If it’s higher than he currently pays, I’d just go straight down that route.
If it’s lower than he currently pays then I’d put pressure on him to pay up else you’ll make a claim.

He sounds awful!

Because it hurts the children...

If the children only see him for four hours a week, realistically what difference will that make if it’s the only leverage OP has ?

Laugh, then laugh some more. What a pathetic excuse for a man. Unbelievable he thinks you're going to help him buy when you haven't even done so yourself. If he ever does find a way to buy, you can bet the place will end up being left to a future partner and / or future kids.

I don't think you can report him for mortgage fraud if he hasn't done the application yet, but don't involve yourself in it - it could harm your credit score and your own chances of buying in the future.

Tell him a "proper man" doesn't sponge off women or try to avoid supporting his kids, and if he wants to try to avoid his responsibilities you can take it to court. What a ridiculous man-child.

OP if he’s so bothered about maintenance payments being on his bank statements, why can’t he just pay you in cash ?

Nope

That money is for the support of your mutual children.

But do not tie his financial support to seeing the children. That's not right and will come back to bite you, as it should.

Let the court sort him out.

I would ignore him, don't agree to anything, engage with him as little as possible, don't give him any straight answers, don't do anything to make his life easier.
Mess him around, leave him hanging etc

Sounds like he's living in a fantasy land. No deposit, how would he afford the repayments. Tell him raising children is expensive and you need his child maintenance payments. Don't get involved in his business.

What hours the OP works is irrelevant really. She is the one working, looking after the children 98% of the week, providing for them, cooking for them, getting them to school or childcare or extracurricular activities.

She's not the one trying to get out of providing for her kids.