Ex wants to stop paying for DC whilst so he can get a mortgage

Also, this I’m afraid OP.

First post nails it….

This was also the point that stood out for me. A single man is the worst thing you can be when it comes to getting social housing.

Both in Social Housing!! How did you manage that? Take him to Court, get it sorted, He has a roof over his head. He's not your problem. The children will decide for themselves soon enough if they don't want to see him anymore, but even that shouldn't stop his contributions for their care.

I can’t tell which country you are in, but in Australia , the government collects child support - so the parent has no say in whether they would like to pay or not.

And will your children be happy living in a cold house with no food and broken shoes? Not surprised you got rid. Tell him to take it up with your solicitor.

Tell him to go and get stood on.

He is a vile, abusive creep.

He doesn’t get to come into your home anymore. Any potential benefit for your small children is far, far outweighed by his disgusting attitude and verbal abuse towards you. Your children need protecting from that.

if he fails to pay maintenance then go straight to CMS.

Ask your parents to drop/block contact with him to help protect you from his dysfunctional and abusive behaviour (and to protect them).

Please consider the Freedom Programme to discover ways to maximise your boundaries, minimise his presence in your life and avoid ending up with any similar types of men in the future.

You and your little ones deserve so much more than this scumbag.

You can pay cash into your bank account.

YWBU to deny him access to his DC based on money. Thats a separate issue and shouldnt be a bargaining chip. If hes a shitshow they need to learn that themselves eventually.

However YANBU to say the money isnt yours, is your children's and they need it to be warm fed and clothed and you arent OKing him letting them down. Of course he has to pay maintainence.

He can turn his car back in if he needs to cut expenses.

On this sort of thread, it’s inevitable that we get a one-sided view as an OP will always present herself in the best possible light, and the other party in the worst, with selective information presented.

I was with you until I saw this disgusting comment, when the mask must have slipped:

”I don't want him seeing the kids when he is not even paying me.”

It made me wonder, if someone was trying to present themself as the honest and wronged party, how vile they must be if they are weaponising their children, their children’s right to see a parent, and a parent’s right to see their children, for money.

The rest of the post then became white noise.

Sooooo…….he’s delusional??

Most lenders want at least 6 months bank statements, proof of regular income and statements showing all outgoings. I think he is lying to you, OP. Or is deluded. Either way, he should be paying, the gobshite.

So where’s the deposit coming from if he’s been out of work?

Lenders also like to see someone in long term employment before they’ll take a risk;he’ll unlikely get approved.

He has two kids he’s responsible for;you still have to pay for their things so he should too;I’m betting he doesn’t exactly pay a massive amount in maintenance anyway.

He’s a CF.

I'm interested to know how a single bloke gets a council house!!

That's what I was thinking!
His planned mortgage fraud is utterly his problem, you can't stop him doing that.
But absolutely don't ok him not paying for his children, as a pp said he gets used to not paying he won't restart.

Just go through child maintenance . You don’t even need to talk to him. Let them deal with him.

He wants to pay in cash so it won't show up on his bank as a regular payment. Tell him no you need it paid via standing order direct to your bank account so you can pay the bills (to house and feed and keep warm his children)

Not your problem and nothing to do with you. Screw him. He can do what he wants but he needs to pay for his kids.

A giant "NO". He is as much responsible for the children as you are...I am disgusted he even suggested this to you. Your children are not responsible for his housing conditions....

No of course he can't stop paying you child maintenance so he can have a mortgage- his children are a prior commitment- you would have to claim the money from DWP in order to look after your children, they would then pursue him for it- wanting a mortgage doesn't spirit away your responsibilities, . Tell the Child maintenance agency they will pursue him- if you take him to court you will have to pay or get Legal Aid (very difficult) let the CMA sort him out they can garnish his wages if necessary- short of leaving the country , he's stuck with it.

Fuck right off should cover it

He won't get a mortgage. Having just started a new job, no deposit no chance also Having a car on finance definitely not. My husband decided to buy a Toyota chr when he was working and the repayments stopped any chance we had of getting one and we had money for a deposit.