Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ex has moved on, feel sick

103 replies

Twinsmamma · 20/02/2026 02:40

I write this as I lay wide awake another night as my mind is spinning. I’ll try and summarise, I was with my ex for 7 years, 2 beautiful twins together, the relationship grew toxic over the years due to him making me feel unappreciated as a mother, I felt invisible and it led to me feeling resentful and i looked at him through a very negative lense, which he felt. It all came to blows last summer and he left, initially I felt shock, then relief, then sadness. We’ve never really had a transparent conversation about anything, initially it led to further conflict so he would say “see! this is why we’ll never work” and exit the conversation. But over the last few months we’ve grown back a lot of respect for each other and are being much kinder to each other, it’s been great and quite frankly, I’m desperate to give it another go (start dating each other, I’m not expecting him to move back in as i don’t want the kids to be impacted unless it’s going to work) the big BUT here is, he’s started dating someone and “really likes her” I'm devastated. I feel a greater pain and sadness than I did when he left, it’s obviously jealousy and rejection and loss all hitting me at once but I quite frankly can’t deal with it. I’m not sleeping or eating, I’m trying so hard to pour all my energy into my children but I have to keep leaving the room as I’m crying constantly. Has anyone experienced this. AIBU to want him back to this extent? I’m nervous to broach the subject with him as fear he’ll say he just doesn’t want to be with me (I did beg him to come home when he first told me about her) which I don’t want to revisit that for my own dignity. But I feel like my life/ future/ person I love is slipping away from me and I don’t know what to do,

OP posts:
Pippa12 · 20/02/2026 03:00

I really wouldn’t broach the subject again if you’ve already asked him to come home and he said no. Sadly, it sounds like emotionally he’s moved on.

Sometimes parents just work better apart, don’t confuse that with being able to be work as a couple. There is a valid reason you split up and it’s not because he made you feel like a great mother and girlfriend.

Deep breaths, take each day one at a time. This awful feeling will pass eventually even tho it feels overwhelming right now. Just eat little and often.

NotMeAtAll · 20/02/2026 02:49

If you had got back together you'd only split up again for the same reasons you did the last time. He's not for you.

Trevordidit · 20/02/2026 02:47

Why would you want to get back with a man that you felt didn't appreciate you and made you feel invisible? And had bad communication by the sounds of it.

You split up for a reason; it's rarely healthy to get back with an ex. Remind yourself why you split!