To be grateful that I have never defined myself by money.

Differentforgirls · 2026-02-19T20:39:00+00:00

Loads of threads on here regarding income as the be all and end all. After Andrew being arrested I’m so grateful I have always defined “success” as having good relationships with my family and friends regardless of money. Who wants a dysfunctional family and circle of friends like he has? I’d rather be relatively skint but happy. AIBU?

Eufyon · 07/03/2026 10:31

Differentforgirls · 20/02/2026 13:10

I am never starting another thread on here. Due to people on their high horses making presumptions without asking questions.

Thanks for your patronising input though.

Hope it’s made your day.

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But you did!

Tigercrane · 20/02/2026 14:00

I think having parents that truely care about you, or at least someone who cares about you helps a lot.Andrew also had a very strange upbringing in my eyes though.
I am also working and seeing children who grow up with very disfunctional families.They stand little chance of leading a normal life, and the system is also against them.
Yeah I agree luck plays a role as well including when and where you are born.

Mystickmystickmystick · 20/02/2026 13:50

I'm fairly skint, but very happy.
I've been absolutely dirt poor and was still mostly happy

I have wealthy family that have awful mental health issues and are constantly on high alert for anyone that might rip them off. It looks exhausting to be honest and they often put their trust in the wrong people and end up disappointed.

Sometimes things happen that make you realise what the important stuff in life really is.

YourGreenCat · 20/02/2026 13:21

Differentforgirls · 20/02/2026 13:10

I am never starting another thread on here. Due to people on their high horses making presumptions without asking questions.

Thanks for your patronising input though.

Hope it’s made your day.

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you ask if you are BU, people reply.

Indeed don't start a thread if you are only looking for validation and don't want people to give their opinion.

Brightlittlecanary · 20/02/2026 13:15

Differentforgirls · 20/02/2026 13:10

I am never starting another thread on here. Due to people on their high horses making presumptions without asking questions.

Thanks for your patronising input though.

Hope it’s made your day.

Show quote history

What did you want op? Very few people are skint and happy, it’s a shitty way to live. The fact some rich people aren’t happy, are depraved or criminals doesn’t change that. And if you think being some form of pervert, nonce or criminal is exclusively for the super rich, you’re very wrong indeed.

most people are saying having money and a comfortable lifestyle makes life easier, as poverty is hard. And there is a huge grey area between poverty and super wealthy,

Original poster

Differentforgirls · 20/02/2026 13:10

Usernamen · 20/02/2026 13:05

”Skint but happy” is a myth perpetuated by those who have never been truly skint.

I am never starting another thread on here. Due to people on their high horses making presumptions without asking questions.

Thanks for your patronising input though.

Hope it’s made your day.

OP posts:

Original poster

Differentforgirls · 20/02/2026 13:05

nomas · 20/02/2026 12:38

But you're not poor now, and people forget being poor very quickly when being well off becomes their norm.

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I’m not well off either.

I’m comfortable.

Having spent 43 years of my life trying to help people who were on the bones of their arse through no fault of their own while having zero credit, nearly losing my house, having “central heating” where only 3 radiators worked but it cost us a fortune, having a leaking roof I could do SFA about, etc etc etc, I think I am qualified enough to speak about poverty!

There is no need for you to be so harsh btw.

OP posts:

Usernamen · 20/02/2026 13:05

”Skint but happy” is a myth perpetuated by those who have never been truly skint.

Original poster

Differentforgirls · 20/02/2026 12:55

EatYourDamnPie · 20/02/2026 12:26

Yeah, no. Those two don’t go together. Tbf, the comparison with AMW was bonkers to begin with anyway.

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Well thanks for popping in anyway. It obviously made your day. You’re welcome 😉

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Brightlittlecanary · 20/02/2026 12:49

WutheringTights · 20/02/2026 09:50

This. Also, you can earn well and be happy. Coming from a miserable childhood defined by poverty, I’m super proud of myself for being financially secure. And I’m happy.

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This having money and being happy and prioritising relationships are not mutually exclusive,

there is nothing romantic or aspirational in poverty.

nomas · 20/02/2026 12:38

Differentforgirls · 20/02/2026 12:10

We have been…

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But you're not poor now, and people forget being poor very quickly when being well off becomes their norm.

EatYourDamnPie · 20/02/2026 12:26

Differentforgirls · 20/02/2026 12:16

Yes I was though I was also stressed.

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Yeah, no. Those two don’t go together. Tbf, the comparison with AMW was bonkers to begin with anyway.

Original poster

Differentforgirls · 20/02/2026 12:20

Fearlesssloth · 20/02/2026 08:58

@Differentforgirls how do you define truly skint?

Not being able to pay the bills. Running out of money the week before pay day and having to get a pay day loan. Going to Asda with a tenner to feed a family for 5 days when you also need soap powder and toilet roll. Etc.

OP posts:

Original poster

Differentforgirls · 20/02/2026 12:16

EatYourDamnPie · 20/02/2026 07:56

Were you happy?

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Yes I was though I was also stressed.

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Original poster

Differentforgirls · 20/02/2026 12:13

Fearlesssloth · 20/02/2026 07:18

You do realise you’re privileged to be able to have this viewpoint though right? People who say things like “you don’t need money to be happy, I’d rather be poor and happy” blah, blah, have obviously never experienced true poverty. If they had they’d know just how important money is, and that it’s impossible to be truly poor and happy.

I was poor!

OP posts:

Original poster

Differentforgirls · 20/02/2026 12:10

nomas · 20/02/2026 07:13

Both my children earn good money but they don’t make it their be all and end all.

It's easy not to think about money when you have it, as you and your well off children know.

Come back when you're below the poverty line.

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We have been…

OP posts:

Original poster

Differentforgirls · 20/02/2026 12:07

RichPetuniaAgain · 20/02/2026 06:09

OMG OP these are my thoughts exactly. Twice in the last month or so I’ve had people say ‘I don’t know where I went wrong’, even though they stay in detached houses, own business. But they aren’t quite as rich as their friends and that’s a bugbear.
I’m in a two bed end terrace. It’s all a state of mind. Sure I’d be happy in a detached house with a bigger garden for the dog to run around in, but I like my little house. It’s a cosy haven. I find people can focus on the negatives, when they should appreciate what they already have and focus on the little things that bring them happiness and contentment instead 😁🌸.

❤️

OP posts:

WutheringTights · 20/02/2026 09:50

hattie43 · 19/02/2026 21:13

You can have both you know , it’s not an either or

This. Also, you can earn well and be happy. Coming from a miserable childhood defined by poverty, I’m super proud of myself for being financially secure. And I’m happy.

YourGreenCat · 20/02/2026 09:42

Money gives you freedom, a much easier life and if it doesn't give you total happiness, it at least gives you a lot of opportunities towards it.

Anyone pretending that money doesn't matter either has loads, or is trying to make themselves feel better.

Brightlittlecanary · 20/02/2026 09:00

Fearlesssloth · 20/02/2026 08:58

@Differentforgirls how do you define truly skint?

Doesn’t everyone define it the same way, struggling to pay the bills, living pay check to pay check. No money to do the fun stuff, eating as cheaply as possible, stretching food out, not putting your heating on and living in a cold house much of the time, can’t even afford a pound for world book day for the kids,

Fearlesssloth · 20/02/2026 08:58

@Differentforgirls how do you define truly skint?

NoSoupForU · 20/02/2026 08:33

jasasa78263 · 20/02/2026 08:23

You say you’re not interested in money but I assume to not have to think or care about it much that means you have enough for all your needs? Presumably some wants too?

The rest is not aimed at you but my reflections on the thread, I think it’s very condescending to talk about money defining people like it’s a human flaw, I would say money not defining you is a huge privilege for the majority of people, because if you cannot afford to live at least a basic life money will inevitably take up a huge amount of headspace.

Even if people become comfortable later on in life if they’ve experienced poverty or any kind of money issues, chances are the mindset doesn’t leave you. It hasn’t for me.

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Yes, I specifically said that I know that not needing to care about money makes me very privileged. There's no concerns about paying for everything that needs paying for and there's plenty left over for the fun stuff. Doesn't mean I can spend with wild abandon, but then that isn't me anyway!

I grew up in poverty but had little awareness of it in any impactful way. It's just how things were so we got on with it. When starting out adult life I wasn't comfortable, but again it was a very matter of fact "this is what I have and this is what it can cover" sort of mentality.

jasasa78263 · 20/02/2026 08:23

NoSoupForU · 20/02/2026 08:12

I'm not really interested in money. I'm very content, and think that plays a huge part in it. I don't care how much money other people have, what kind of house they live in or what they earn. Nobody knows what I earn. I don't really know what my husband earns either.

But I also know that I'm incredibly privileged to not need to care.

You say you’re not interested in money but I assume to not have to think or care about it much that means you have enough for all your needs? Presumably some wants too?

The rest is not aimed at you but my reflections on the thread, I think it’s very condescending to talk about money defining people like it’s a human flaw, I would say money not defining you is a huge privilege for the majority of people, because if you cannot afford to live at least a basic life money will inevitably take up a huge amount of headspace.

Even if people become comfortable later on in life if they’ve experienced poverty or any kind of money issues, chances are the mindset doesn’t leave you. It hasn’t for me.

NoSoupForU · 20/02/2026 08:12

I'm not really interested in money. I'm very content, and think that plays a huge part in it. I don't care how much money other people have, what kind of house they live in or what they earn. Nobody knows what I earn. I don't really know what my husband earns either.

But I also know that I'm incredibly privileged to not need to care.

sundayvibeswig22 · 20/02/2026 08:08

I don’t define myself by money but it’s nice to have and does make me happier. Not having to worry about bills, being able to buy what I like (within reason) holidays, nice (but modest house) etc.

I could earn a lot more fairly easily but once I hit the ‘comfortable’ living sweet spot I value my time, my families happiness and mental health more.