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Original poster

Am I too sensitive?

31 replies

Slowliving2000 · 19/02/2026 13:37

I'm 26, single and child free at present.

A few incidents occured between my sister and I since the death of our parent last year that has hurt me but my sister thinks I'm too sensitive.

A bit of background, she's my half sister we share our Mother. Our Mom married my Dad when she was two and always treated her equally to me by my Dad as have my wider paternal family.

Since our Mom died last year, I feel sidelined by her. At Christmas she said she wanted a more family focused Christmas, celebrating at home with family. I was, however, welcomed to pop by on Christmas morning to deliver gifts. I was surprised to find her PIL, sister in law and her children there, dressed in their pjs. It was then I found out my sister's in laws were spending a few days over the holidays. I spent Christmas day with my paternal aunt and her family.

Early in the new year, I mentioned to my sister I felt hurt and sidelined. She laughed saying I'm too sensitive and I wouldn't have enjoyed it as I have no family of my own. For harmony's sake, I let it go. Since then, she rarely answers or returns my calls, is too busy to meet for coffee and declines my offers to meet her at soft play.

Fast forward now, it's my niece's birthday at the weekend, again, it will be a family focused celebration but I can call the day before her birthday to deliver her gift and perhaps babysit so sister and her husband can go out for dinner. Again I told my sister I'm hurt by her treatment of me, and although I love my niece, I'll visit with her present but I'm unable to babysit. My sister is now angry with me, I'm too sensitive and not willing to support her by not babysitting. Apparently, since our Mom died, she has very little support. I pointed out, she declined all invitations to meet up and excluded me from family celebrations when previously I would've been invited with our Mom. My sister still thinks I'm being too sensitive and told me her and our Mom frequently met up without me because I have nothing in common with Moms and wouldn't have enjoyed it.

Is this normal behaviour towards a child free sibling?
Am I being too sensitive?

OP posts:
Original poster
Slowliving2000 · 19/02/2026 14:42

Whyarepeople · 19/02/2026 14:25

Am I right that she didn't invite you to your niece's party but wanted you to babysit, then got annoyed when you wouldn't do unpaid work for her?

If I am right about that then she's incredibly self centred and I'd wonder if you're losing much by not having her in your life.

That's correct. I was invited to drop off my niece's gift and babysit which was incredibly hurtful

OP posts:
MunterJobHunter · 19/02/2026 14:39

I have two half siblings and I know one has the mindset that the half we share isn’t worth future relationships when they parents are gone.

I think you need to stop having expectations because she’s not going to change and suddenly value you. You came as an extra with your mother and now the mother isn’t there she doesn’t seem to value your relationship as siblings. I know my half sibling focusses
on the half rather than sibling part and as hard as it is for you having lost a mother and now it seems a sister, it’s not worth your emotional effort trying to fix it. Stay on the peripheral but don’t become the babysitter unless she values you as a sister. She’s being mean and possibly playing out childhood anger at you coming along as a baby and ruining her time with her mum. Never underestimate how long adults can carry that resentment.

Original poster
Slowliving2000 · 19/02/2026 14:39

ThatMintMember · 19/02/2026 13:46

That's really mean of her to exclude you like that! You might find that your relationship improves if you end up having children as she will have more in common with you then. My sister and I became closer after I had a child.

Also she's crazy for not inviting the child-free aunt to things, they're the ones with energy to play and give parents a break (not that you owe them this). I've been excluded by some friends as soon as they had kids but luckily I have a sister and very close friend who had kids before me and never did that. I have a child now and wish I had friends with no kids!

Does that not appear transactional? Your only worth aligned with being a parent?

OP posts:
Whyarepeople · 19/02/2026 14:25

Am I right that she didn't invite you to your niece's party but wanted you to babysit, then got annoyed when you wouldn't do unpaid work for her?

If I am right about that then she's incredibly self centred and I'd wonder if you're losing much by not having her in your life.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 19/02/2026 14:11

I think having a year with her IL’s at Christmas is fine. Lots of families do year about.

Not wanting to meet up at other times is a shame.

ThatMintMember · 19/02/2026 13:46

That's really mean of her to exclude you like that! You might find that your relationship improves if you end up having children as she will have more in common with you then. My sister and I became closer after I had a child.

Also she's crazy for not inviting the child-free aunt to things, they're the ones with energy to play and give parents a break (not that you owe them this). I've been excluded by some friends as soon as they had kids but luckily I have a sister and very close friend who had kids before me and never did that. I have a child now and wish I had friends with no kids!

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