Help. My daughters weight

It's very difficult isn't it. My daughter was very fat in year 6, I was worried about making a thing of it to avoid an eating disorder. Well, her friend who is anorexic soon did that anyway by repeatedly calling her fat during a row so now she's in recovery for anorexia herself

If she’s seriously only eating a bowl of cereal, sandwich and frube for breakfast and lunch that’s like 500 calories absolute max which I’d argue isn’t enough.

Kids generally go through phases where they look a bit chunky for a while then shoot up out of nowhere and get slim again. My DS was ‘obese’ at 12, he had a growth spurt and is now almost 16 and 6 foot 1, normal weight.

If I were to change one thing I’d try and alter the breakfast to include more protein - an egg on toast, or Greek yoghurt with chopped up strawberries. Eggy bread. Peanut butter on wholemeal toast. A smoothie with Greek yoghurt in it.
When days start with cereal I find in my own DD that she just is ravenous for lunch then wants snacks and it’s a constant battle against hunger all day and craving sweet things. A proper breakfast and the day runs more smoothly. She’s full until the next meal.
You could also put out plates of chopped up raw veg / fruit / nuts in the afternoon for grazing. I bet she is gearing up for a big growth spurt. Wouldn’t worry.

My DS was plump at primary school despite being active and not over eating. When he hit puberty in year 8 the weight literally dropped off over night and he is very slim now.
Whatever you do, don’t make an issue of it.

There’s some excellent advice on here - my sister was deemed as chubby by the school nurse of all people and as a direct result has spent the last 45 years battling anorexia.

Don’t worry about clothes size, I found girls clothes around 8-12 were not designed for a changing body shape and were still based on proportions for a very slim child, so my daughter often wore bigger sizes. Look at girls in her class, there will be a range of shapes over the next few years.

It sounds like you’re already doing everything right already so don’t worry.

My advice would be to think about the nutrients in the food you are giving her and make healthy swaps

Cereal can be full of sugar and a portion is only about 30 - 40g depending on the type, most people fill a bowl and pour lots of milk and that can add up to 1000 calories easily with sugary types.

Swap cereal for 40g of oats, 125g of greek yoghurt and add fruit on top

Check the sandwich fillings and lower the amoubt of butter / mayo that goes on them, add some salad to it to bulk it out volume wise

The frube yoghurt is full of sugar, again swap it for 125g of greek yoghurt with fruit or 15g of honey for the sweet hit

Make sure the treats are portioned by the recommended size (one biscuit not two or three, 4 squares of chocolate not half the bar, a weighed amount of gummy sweets not the whole share bag) and double check the portions you give for dinner - especially amount of bread and butter given with the stews and soups

There is a reason we are all so fat as a nation and it’s nonsense like this that causes it. Since when is asking how everyone thinks a flipping frube is healthy means they have orthorexia? Frubes are utter garbage (my kids do eat them though 😂) and asking the question as to why people think that’s a healthy diet is absolutely reasonable, especially in these circumstances.

this PP does not have orthorexia, however she clearly knows plenty about nutrition and that’s absolutely someone I’d be listening to over the patter of ‘diet sounds healthy OP’. There is not enough detail to answer that accurately and PP is reasonable to ask!

Orthorexia doesn't necessarily mean a specific body shape.

What exactly is she eating? What cereal, what milk, how much?

same with packed lunch - what bread, filling, what fruit, portion size?

For example cocoa pops with full fat milk is awful, weetabix and banana with semi skimmed would probably be better or even better than that, switch her to something like boiled egg and soldiers.

a tonne of raisins isn’t going to be great as the fruit option but mixed berries would be wonderful. Sometimes it is just small swaps.

my eldest used to be 91st centile at about 4, we used the opportunity of walking to school to keep her active and tightened things up slightly at home and as she got taller it evened out.

she’s now a healthy teenager in ladies size 4-6 clothes.

also wanted to agree with this. If she’s eating healthily, by which I mean almost no hyper-palatable UPFs, she’ll almost certainly even out in the end

Also to add, my understanding is that while exercise is obviousjy good for us all, unless you increase exercise massively, it doesbt effect weight loss much. Please don’t go overboard here and make her neurotic and paranoid

I don’t think most children over eat healthy foods. I would stop any UPFs, including breakfast cereals, which are mostly very highly sugared and very refined. Instead, give her some protein at breakfast, such as porridge with a few nuts and a very small squirt of honey of she’s used to a bit of sweetness. Or eggs on brown sour dough toast, or plain Greek yoghurt with chopped up frozen (defrosted) berries and a teeny tiny squirt of honey if she needs it because she’s used to sweetness. No more fruit tubes or pouches. God knows what’s in them and they’ll be highly refined in any event. But yes, I agree that 8 year olds seem to plump up a little again after the skinniness of 6-7 year olds

In your shoes I would (without letting her realise, of course) spend a week noting down everything she eats and putting it into a calorie counter. Your description of her diet seems at odds with her size, so I wonder if she's having more unhealthy stuff than you're aware of? Or perhaps it's the portion size. Anyway, doing that should help you know where to focus.

Whilst this may well not be the case here, but I come across a lot of children who do seem to be doing a lot of exercise/sports clubs etc but never actually physically exert themselves enough to become out of breath or increase their heart rate, mainly because it feels uncomfortable. It could be worth considering the intensity of the exercise rather than the amount of it, just a thought.

Her diet sounds normal and healthy. I’d just aim to increase exercise. Just tread carefully, friends DD was in same boat, not hugely overweight, just a little but children teasing lead to anorexia. She is just back at school part time after having to be pulled out due to impact on her body. She is 10yrs old, still in primary. It’s been horrendous for my friend to go through.

Please don’t put her on the scales again. I know you mean well but it won’t help.

What is her attitude to food? That is the most important thing here. Does she eat a varied diet?

I agree with other that have said growth spurt. Also, genetically what is her shape likely to be like? My daughter has always been in the 91st centile and is a little chubby. But she has been through her 2 growth spurt stages and had more of the build from the other side of the family.

Teaching her to love her changing body is very important here.

I think most people go through a pudgy phase in their youth. I certainly did. Didn’t diet or anything and it levelled out - have been slim since. Pretty normal. I wasn’t worry too much about it, maybe some extra exercise if you are concerned. Def don’t make a deal of it, I was quite embarrassed when my mum brought it up

For context, my son - sama age - is 10 cm taller and 4 kg lighter. He’s muscular with endless energy, not remotely skinny.
2 times PE per week, 3 dance classes, plus judo and swimming once.
I’ll give you his diet for comparison
breakfast: mix of shreddies snd rice crispies (small ikea bowl), small cup of milk

packed lunch (he dislikes sandwiches): boiled egg, spinach , cucumber, tomatoes/broccoli/sugar snaps, grapes or apple,3-4 cheese cubes, crusty roll, penguin bar and yoyo

Snack: cucumber and breadsticks
Dinner: 3 fishfinger/ 1 chicken breast/3-4 meatballs or similar with pasta or rice . occasionally a 3-egg omlette.
Sone haribos and a small bowl with fruit and veg.

Not a super healthy mumsnet diet, but to give you a comparison

Why are you shocked she’s probably about to have a growth spurt, please don’t start putting her on a diet or saying something.

my daughter had puppy fat, was chubby till about 14 without that sort of female shape, she then grew six inches, her weight stayed the same and within two years was a 5ft 8 size 8,

leave her be,

I lecture on diet and exercise. it's true exercise comes a distant second to diet when it comes to losing weight, but it's not true to say it has zero effect.

The main problem with increasing exercise it that it increases appetite, and it's all to easy to go for a sugary snack rather than wait for a meal.

However, holding diet constant, more exercise = weight loss plus an exponential number of other benefits.

As for OP, the diet seems okay and of course BMI is a flawed measure of overweightness at the individual level. It's good to keep an eye on things, but I wouldn't intervene at the dietary level at this stage. You could introduce more activity into her routine. Walking to school for example will burn an awful lot of fat in the long term, without necessarily increasing appetite (as at that level of activity, the body will metabolise fat for fuel rather than sugar).

Definitely try to get a handle on it now but don’t mention it to your daughter. Your evening meals sound fine, even with the odd biscuit for dessert. We don’t do cereal on a regular basis as it’s full of sugar and yoghurts are too. Maybe swap for fruit and cereal for something else filling and nutritious

We tend to defend chubby children in the uk and fail to recognise that in most urban areas (london, Birmingham, Manchester etc) around a third of year 6 children are obese. Not just overweight
Agree with this. I understand the mindset of not mentioning weight in children, *don't mention weight or else your child will have an eating disorder.
Being obese is not fun. I'm saying that as a woman who was overweight as child and obese as an adult.

And I think the focus on physical activity is a false solution.
Yes it should be encouraged and it can help shifting the weight temporarily, but any dietician or sport trainer will tell you that exercise without correcting the diet will have 0 effects in the long run.

I have also a large sample of nieces and nephews to look at, as we tend to have either slim or large profiles in the family, and nothing in between. Those who had diet issues as young kids still grew bigger, despite all the additional sports. They just ate more to compensate, and their parents and siblings with the same lifestyle are slim.

More vegetables, nuts and seeds, legumes, whole grains, full fat dairy and lean protein.

Less sugar and processed food.

Frequent movement, minimise sedentary periods.

Regardless of whether she's actually overweight, or having a growth spurt or whatever, the above will good for her overall health and set her up well for adulthood.