Has anyone on here ever made you cry?

Jesus Christ - that's so dark. I hope you know there are plenty of people out here who are horrified by the situation you are in.

I'm sorry you cried, OP. I agree there is a minority of really unpleasant people who post on MN. I try not to post anything too controversial because I want to avoid the nasties having a go at me. I guess that makes me a coward.

There are also a lot of really nice, decent, kind and knowledgeable people who post on here. I've learned a lot about different things because I come to MN.

I wouldn't say to tears but I was a bit sensitive feeling when I was subject to a bit of a pile on for expressing an opinion that didn't align with the majority (I don't remember what the post was about or what my opinion was) I was in early pregnancy at the time which didn't help.

Unfortunately some people here can get quite nasty but it really is a reflection of themselves rather than anyone else so do try to ignore them.

A lady posting about her 5 year old dying upset the hell out of me for days. Possibly the saddest thing I'd read

Actually I was going to say the same thing because Im not sure how to describe it, but when someone posts about their relationship or something they're struggling with, you get a ton of posters saying the OP has got no self esteem, low bar, low standards, how can you be with someone like that, how can you be treated like this, you've got no self respect

And Im thinking, not one of them has offered any practical advice about how to either manage or to make plans for separation, just basic slagging someone off for being 'weak' or not resilient. There was a thread recently about an OP who had her daughters partner living with her due to family crisis and he was treating the home badly and treating her badly and rather than give practical advice it was all about how shit OP was to have 'allowed' this to happen to her!

If they didnt have low self esteem at the start of the thread they certainly would by then!!!

Are they? At the time I wasn't in the right headspace to report, but I don't think I'd be confident on Mumsnet taking action, based on what I see is generally accepted on the forum. If it was something obviously full of insults maybe, but 'strong opinions' seems to be the culture here, which is why I tend to take time away if I need to.

No, never cried or lost sleep over it. This site is a funny old place, random strangers on here can be so kind, but some can be dreadfully and unnecessarily mean. I don't take stuff internet strangers say too seriously. They don't know me or the wider context of my life or experience and I don't know that about them either.

I've definitely been less kind on here than I would be IRL at times, because I guess the nature of a forum takes everyone's filters off to a degree. But in some cases not, like the thread where some hypnotherapist posted about chatting with a random suicidal person at night and was kinda humblebragging about it, but it was clear they had no idea about managing risk or safety. I definitely don't feel the need to be kind about people doing dangerous shit with other people's mental health, and really DGAF if they're upset about that. I'd have said exactly the same IRL if someone told me that to my face.

Interacting with randoms on social media or forums is very much something we have to do at our own risk, I think. It's wise to enter into engaging here bearing in mind that while there are basic rules in place, nobody on the internet owes us agreement, validation or kindness. I take breaks from being on here if I start to feel stewy about stuff other posters have said, or if I notice myself getting tempted to get into drawn out arguments, or being triggered by racism, ableism etc in a way that makes me want to clap back. People aren't going to change their ways or opinions because of an argument put forward by a stranger on the internet, it's not worth it.

Nope. Just ignore, ignore ignore. People like that aren’t worth getting upset over. If someone calls you a C””” then it says a lot more about them than it does you.

Some people on here are nasty pieces of work so I’m not surprised by this

Said poster had been more neutral in the thread but PM'd me to tell me how awful I was because I'd responded to the posters who were challenging me in thread and not directly to them (to thank them? I don't know)
Report this behaviour everytime. MN are quick enough to act when ppl are being awful.

I was just about to type the same thing

That you Bluntness1000000? 😵‍💫🤣

Someone accidentally posted a gif of an elephant running in pink shoes within their post on a serious topic and I literally cried with laughter.

What an odd thing to say.

Surely you must understand that feeling emotions and showing them are two completely different things?

People who don’t cry at things aren’t less caring than people who do. They just internalise things more. Some people face astonishingly distressing things daily as part of their jobs. Do you think they spend their whole day in tears? Of course they don’t. But it doesn’t mean they have any less empathy or kindness than you. It means they have the ability to hold it together, that’s all.

If you can’t comprehend that, then I don’t think you’re a you’re quite as empathetic as you think you are.

No and I think people use AI a lot now to be more articulate and hide behind the content.

Try to weed out the rubbish and enjoy the balanced content.

No, they don't know me, I don't know them, no investment. Horrible people are just revealing themselves and those kind of people aren't worth the energy.

I have been moved by people's stories but, as not everything on the internet is true, I don't get too invested emotionally either.

I have felt disgust though. Some people here are just awful, twist words, and don't consider that whoever they are attacking might be fragile or vulnerable. Obviously they have their own issues in life and probably aren't very happy, but ugh, the strongest feeling I have felt here is disgust with what some people feel is okay to post.

God that is awful Kirbert2

I’m really sorry that you’ve had to deal with that. It’s totally outrageous and out of order.

The best way to deal with people like this is either to refuse to be provoked or to refuse to engage at all. People like this get off on getting a rise out of you for whatever reason… I don’t understand it at all. I’m sorry they were so mean to you OP. When I can see horrible comments (not even necessarily to me) it helps to remember that you’ll find unexpected kindness and lots of support on MN too.

I have shed tears about some heartfelt threads where someone has lost a loved one.

I used to spiral really badly when someone responded to something I’d said that was critical or a bit abrupt even, but I am ND and have quite severe RSD. I don’t have that anymore (online at least) and I’m not sure if that’s because I’ve built up a tolerance or some resilience or if it means I’ve become desensitised. If it’s the latter then that’s worrying because if it’s desensitised me then what is SM doing to others?

I really think that as wonderful as the age of information and connection can be, we were never meant to have access to this many peoples inner thoughts. It’s a noise I cannot shut off and it’s adjusted the way I think about a lot of things, mostly for the worse.

I live for hopecore atm.

I think often about a certain poster who really went in for the kill with me when I was at such a low and was looking for a handhold/advice. I have to leave my own thread because of it, couldn’t bring myself to even continue reading the absolute venom that came out of her. This was three years ago, and it has crossed my mind often to private message her and ask what the absolute fuck she thought she was doing. But that would mean opening the thread…which I can’t bear to do.. I recall at the time doing and advanced search on her and she had posted some innocent crap about coming home to her cat. I was hoping it was one of those rogue posters but not.

it’s the same as posters saying ‘what on earth..’ when you reveal a small part of yourself. Fuck off with that unkindness too

another time, I had posters mocking me for doing DH laundry, as though I was a complete fuckwit to be doing it and that ‘noone else’ did this. Yes. Fucking mental stuff. There are some nasty ‘cunts’ out there OP

Not cry but cry with laughter..and frustration. The nastiest response ive ever had was on a lighthearted thread about washing tea towels in with underwear (I don't do this lol)
Said poster was obviously defensive and projecting.

I hate how Mumsnet allow the vultures and cruel people to keep on posting though. They clamped down innit for a while but it's back to normal again now. You're walking into the hyena pit if you now post if you're feeling vulnerable.

No, but I have hurt for some posters. One in particular, a long time ago, who (Assuming it wasn't a troll) was heavily encouraged to leave an appalling relationship but was too fragile mentally and took her own life. Sometimes people have easy answers but don't consider the impact of what they see saying. (Who knows, perhaps I have been guilty of that too).

I do find that I let myself get viciously sneery towards posters of bad faith pushing damaging misinformation/lies and that leaves me feeling that I've let myself down - dropped below my own standards. Not admirable.

No, but I'm really sorry it's happened to you, OP. Some people are just nasty, and I'm sure it's got worse in recent years. There's no excuse for being horrible to other people online, I don't know what they get out of it.

Gosh isn't that true. Turn it back on them and wow!