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Original poster

At my wits end with oversharing colleague

65 replies

Jadee78 · 18/02/2026 16:51

I’ve a female colleague who over the past 18 months has shared every detail of her marriage breakdown, subsequent divorce and more recently, her dating woes.

We are in a team of 10, but we’re remotely managed so our manager is only on site once a week and its usually the day my colleague doesn’t work.

I am all for getting along with my colleagues. But am I wrong for finding this latest conversation a step too far?

She has been seeing a younger man (30 - she’s mid 40’s). Last night, they spent the night together. We’d been told all day yesterday how she was nervous and she was working herself up about it.

She came in blushing today, and blurted out something about him being so good using his mouth and then went on about how she didn’t know she enjoyed being pleasured in ‘that area’ (meaning her rear).

One or two colleagues entertain her but I’m sick of it now.

AIBU to say something the next time she is so crude in front of me?

OP posts:
YourGreenCat · 18/02/2026 17:53

AnAppleAWeek · 18/02/2026 17:26

She came in blushing today, and blurted out something about him being so good using his mouth and then went on about how she didn’t know she enjoyed being pleasured in ‘that area’ (meaning her rear).

Absolutely disgusting! Imagine a man started talking about that!

exactly!

We always blame men but women get away with everything!

OP ,either you tell her it's completely inappropriate
or you make a complain to HR if you don't want to be directly involved.

It's very wrong. Where does it stop? If she can go into crude details, why can't another employee carry on and it's just not appropriate for anyone.

topcat2014 · 18/02/2026 17:37

Christ! All I know about anyone's sex life is whether they have kids or not..

zurigo · 18/02/2026 17:30

I'd make a formal complaint. No one needs to be sharing such details with anyone, let alone their colleagues. It's completely inappropriate and unprofessional and you'd think that someone in their 40s would know that. Hell, my 18-year-old knows that!!

AnAppleAWeek · 18/02/2026 17:26

She came in blushing today, and blurted out something about him being so good using his mouth and then went on about how she didn’t know she enjoyed being pleasured in ‘that area’ (meaning her rear).

Absolutely disgusting! Imagine a man started talking about that!

PoppyTries · 18/02/2026 17:25

Good heavens, that’s horrifying. Who wants to hear that at work? How is that not considered sexual harassment?

Fingalscave · 18/02/2026 17:13

There was a woman like that in the admin office of my department. She was known as Knickers Knackers Knockers.
Sorry, no help, but YANBU, it's oversharing to the extreme.

Heronwatcher · 18/02/2026 17:10

Could you just email or IM her? Something a bit like “Hi Sue, Really glad you’re enjoying yourself with your new guy but I am just personally not comfortable with that level of detail at work- and I am worried that someone might complain to [bigboss] at some point. Would you mind saving it for coffee breaks and cocktails! Thanks!”

It’s a bit iffy as you’re not her manager and she might complain to the boss herself but I’d doubt it. If she does complain I’d really doubt any company would be encouraging this…

Pomegranatecarnage · 18/02/2026 17:09

That is grim in my opinion. That sort of talk is okay for very close friends but unacceptable in the workplace and also disrespectful to her sexual partner who probably doesn’t expect their shenanigans to be broadcast to her colleagues.

Babsandherwabs · 18/02/2026 17:09

Grotty AF. I would actually say, next time she recounts such a tale ‘ugh we do not need to hear this Lisa, is nothing sacred!’ (in the moment I would actually probably say ‘for fucks sake Lisa, that is rank’) and when she inevitable complains about you being mean you can then complain about her and leave it up to management.

funrunsunday · 18/02/2026 17:05

Personally I think any sex chat is off limits with colleagues. Apart from when I was young/a student, I wouldn't even entertain this level of chat with people I happen to work at the same place with.

Sounds like she's lacking friends. Although I wouldn't want this chat with friends either. But maybe I'm a prude. I think she needs telling.

LindorDoubleChoc · 18/02/2026 17:04

Goodness gracious.

SemiSober · 18/02/2026 17:02

Jadee78 · 18/02/2026 16:51

I’ve a female colleague who over the past 18 months has shared every detail of her marriage breakdown, subsequent divorce and more recently, her dating woes.

We are in a team of 10, but we’re remotely managed so our manager is only on site once a week and its usually the day my colleague doesn’t work.

I am all for getting along with my colleagues. But am I wrong for finding this latest conversation a step too far?

She has been seeing a younger man (30 - she’s mid 40’s). Last night, they spent the night together. We’d been told all day yesterday how she was nervous and she was working herself up about it.

She came in blushing today, and blurted out something about him being so good using his mouth and then went on about how she didn’t know she enjoyed being pleasured in ‘that area’ (meaning her rear).

One or two colleagues entertain her but I’m sick of it now.

AIBU to say something the next time she is so crude in front of me?

Leave an anonymous note under her keyboard letting her know that not everyone wants to hear that rubbish

PickledElectricity · 18/02/2026 16:55

That is far too much information for the office. I would put headphones on to avoid her every time she starts talking about it. I suspect if you challenge her she will escalate it to you bullying her or something. She sounds like she's a drama llama doing things for attention.

ChaToilLeam · 18/02/2026 16:55

We had one like that in our office. Very oversharing about her sex life, it was very uncomfortable. When I became her manager I had to tell her to keep that kind of talk out of the workplace.

RudolphTheReindeer · 18/02/2026 16:53

Yanbu that's way tmi unless you're full on besties.

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