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AIBU?

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Original poster

At my wits end with oversharing colleague

65 replies

Jadee78 · 18/02/2026 16:51

I’ve a female colleague who over the past 18 months has shared every detail of her marriage breakdown, subsequent divorce and more recently, her dating woes.

We are in a team of 10, but we’re remotely managed so our manager is only on site once a week and its usually the day my colleague doesn’t work.

I am all for getting along with my colleagues. But am I wrong for finding this latest conversation a step too far?

She has been seeing a younger man (30 - she’s mid 40’s). Last night, they spent the night together. We’d been told all day yesterday how she was nervous and she was working herself up about it.

She came in blushing today, and blurted out something about him being so good using his mouth and then went on about how she didn’t know she enjoyed being pleasured in ‘that area’ (meaning her rear).

One or two colleagues entertain her but I’m sick of it now.

AIBU to say something the next time she is so crude in front of me?

OP posts:
FreeWheezin · 25/02/2026 23:45

Mutual bum activities is a phrase that should never go hand in hand with work 🤣 glad its sorted OP

Original poster
Jadee78 · 25/02/2026 23:15

Just updating to say that our manager has finally had a word with her, after a couple of us gave feedback after yet more inappropriate remarks on Monday about her weekend. More tales of mutual bum activities :sick:

OP posts:
Nearly50omg · 20/02/2026 12:19

Report to manager and say she’s gone too far now and it’s not professional or expected workplace behaviour and you and colleagues don’t want to hear this anymore

seventeenofsumday · 20/02/2026 12:10

That's really grim, I would deffo be saying next time look Jane I really don't wanna know about you having your arsehole licked, please cut it out. That's revolting 🤣 🤣 😭

SunsetValley · 18/02/2026 22:23

Dollymylove · 18/02/2026 21:56

She's announcing to everyone that hes licked her chocolate starfish? Thats gross 🤮🤮

Literally this

Of all the sex acts to brag about to colleagues, this would not be it😂😂😂

Dollymylove · 18/02/2026 21:56

She's announcing to everyone that hes licked her chocolate starfish? Thats gross 🤮🤮

pouletvous · 18/02/2026 21:51

Grim

MeridaBrave · 18/02/2026 21:51

I’d probably tell the manager that it’s TMI. I might en up saying something directly like OMG enough I don’t want to hear

UnhappyHobbit · 18/02/2026 21:50

I would also find this uncomfortable. You need to try next time to go over the top and say you’re a prude and she needs to stop talking about sex around you.

Original poster
Jadee78 · 18/02/2026 21:47

Thanks all, some good suggestions here!

OP posts:
FloofyKat · 18/02/2026 21:44

I’d have to say something… Good grief, Sally, that’s waaaaay TMI for the workplace. Then pointedly, get on with your work, leave your desk or move elsewhere. And next time you are alone with her, tell her that you would rather not hear about her sex life and that it’s inappropriate. She might be annoyed / upset but you aren’t there to be her best mate!

FreeWheezin · 18/02/2026 21:33

Next time she is in, ask her all about it but only using the proper terms. "Linda, could you tell me more about the anilingus you experienced the other day? Did he put his penis inside your vagina too by any chance? I imagine there was lots of semen!' I've found that when people can't retreat to the security of euphemisms they suddenly realise how inappropriate they've been

TheIceBear · 18/02/2026 20:26

Gross wtf ? I think when you get close to colleagues it’s ok to share if you are having some problems but this is way too much and there is absolutely no need for it . This is beyond over sharing

Wayk · 18/02/2026 20:04

I would also hate to be listening to that kind of talk. I would either change the subject or say too much information for my liking.

Hereforthecommentz · 18/02/2026 19:34

You just need to tell her you don't want to hear it. I have an oversharer, she tells us all about her swinging exploits. Sometimes we entertain it but if it gets too much we just tell her to shut up. There's no need for HR at this stage just telling her should suffice

SunsetValley · 18/02/2026 19:30

I don’t want to sound mean, because it seems like she just wants someone to share things with, but this would probably be workplace sexual harassment (at least according to the training in my workplace). You can’t go around broadcasting details of your sex life.

Absolutely fine to confide in a work friend at lunch (who’s down to hear that stuff) but otherwise no.

She seems completely oblivious to her attention-seeking and how it comes across. Sadly, I don’t think there’s a way to get the message across without causing upset. I agree with pp she sounds completely oblivious.

If she doesn’t know not to talk rimjobs at work, she won’t get nuance.

LlynTegid · 18/02/2026 19:27

Talk to her initially. Make it clear that it is unwelcome, but also it could look bad on her.

Angelic999 · 18/02/2026 19:25

Do you ever have 1-1s with your Manager? I would write down verbatim what your colleague has said and ask the Manager to have a word, after all that is what they get paid for!

In the meantime just ignore.

SilverPink · 18/02/2026 19:03

Think I’d be shouting “TMI Janet, some of us have just had lunch” 🤢

BauhausOfEliott · 18/02/2026 18:29

Yeah, that’s not remotely OK to talk about at work.

Doesn’t she have friends for that kind of chat?

outerspacepotato · 18/02/2026 18:28

She's being a creep, probably for attention.

I'd file a complaint.

Too bad you don't have music you could blast every time she started her sex talk to drown her out.

Thepeopleversuswork · 18/02/2026 18:20

I think when people do this they are very lonely and desperate to sound “interesting”. I have a male colleague who massively overshares, not about sex but just insists on telling people everything about his life and tells tge same stories again and again…

Think its a bit of a cry for help.

beadystar · 18/02/2026 18:17

You could make it into a pointed joke- ‘gosh Diane, if a man said stuff like that in the office, he’d get fired!’
Sadly, that type are a bit oblivious. Have a word with your manager if it persists.

Createausername1970 · 18/02/2026 18:01

I agree that if a bloke (her boyfriend for example) went in to that much info in the office then he would possibly end up in trouble if it was a larger organisation with HR etc.

I think I would have to say something to her at this stage and tell her she has crossed that line between chit chat and inappropriate and you don't want to hear it.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 18/02/2026 17:53

zurigo · 18/02/2026 17:30

I'd make a formal complaint. No one needs to be sharing such details with anyone, let alone their colleagues. It's completely inappropriate and unprofessional and you'd think that someone in their 40s would know that. Hell, my 18-year-old knows that!!

I agree. Its up to your manager to come in on a day when she's in and say something.

What do your other colleagues think... ?

I think I'd just say "Ugh... TMI!" and turn back to my work."

I think a pp also said "imagine if a man said that." would be a good thing to say as it would make the other listeners think about it too and might shut her up.

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