Looking after kids. Working from home

Have you got any examples of deadlines being missed/ customers complaining? Or is it just that you want to get something done that afternoon rather than the next morning (which is understandable but not a major issue if it can be done the next day). When you talk about others picking up the slack- what does that look like? Why can’t you just say “oh I am sure that Amy picked that up earlier so I would contact her.” Or just IM Amy’s manager and refer it to her!

I think you need to be very careful to not make it look like you’ve either got a grudge or are just annoyed because it’s about personal preferences about when work gets done rather than a business need.

If they are working at different times of the day and get the job done, nothing wrong with that in my opinion.

What the OP suggests is some doing less than others, which is not reasonable.

This is why my employer refused WFH. I had to work hard to prove I'd get it done & can still only WFH if necessary on holidays etc. previously staff, DC or not, were not doing the work when WFH.

However, MY SIL/BIL have highly paid WFH jobs and do all pick ups/drop offs, help with homework etc and get away with it & no one notices. So it just depends on your employer, really.

I wfh with dd1 today, dd2 went to grandparents. Dd1 is 11 and sat next to me building a book nook, then went elsewhere when I had a meeting. They were both at grandparents yesterday as I wanted to spend a full day in the office. I can work with them both now they are older but I don't take the piss. If I have a bust week or something I have to really focus on it's grandparents or holiday club. And I did work 5 full days in the office before covid and this is definitely easier and it annoys me that people taking the piss with 'flexibility' ruin it for everyone else.

I always figure that the time spent talking bollocks with the bollocks talker in the office is time I can discount against actually working. So if I take a nap when wfh, it's actually more productive than listening to the office wankers. The big problem is we're still wired up to value presenteeism over value. That's a 19th century approach and fucking insane in this 2026. But yes, it's not okay to pretend you're working with kids running around in the background. See also senior managers who plead school run when their kids are late teens. Absolute piss take.

What’s your problem? You’re what I would call a jobsworth. I collect my child and take them to their grandparents house. I use 40 mins of my unpaid lunch break to do it. I use the other 20 to eat. Not that it’s any of your business. Have you thought… maybe your colleagues are doing the same. We don’t have after school clubs in our area since Covid. Back off that high horse..

@rookiemere ‘swapped with any DMs..’

thank god life has moved on. Stop pissing on flexible working. Your experience was wrong. Flexible working is vital for women.

@Dressassistance wow OP, life is hard enough for working parents! Give people a break.

This really frustrates me - it’s such a careful balancing act with wrap around/clubs/drop offs. A few of my colleagues have been working from home this week with their children. Prehaps I’m a mug!

I work in a legal role that, if dealt with externally, would cost my entire salary for dealing with one or two incidents a year. We get 12-20 incidents a year, about half of which require prompt attention, and 2-3 tend to need a bit of overtime through the year.

The rest of the time, I provide advice hoc advice, deliver training and awareness, and tweak and refine policy and procedure in line with latest practice and guidance. And support a few income-generating projects too.

The org had massive overspend in my area prior to my introducing up-to-date procedures and technology. They generally more than happy for me to deal with all their issues (which nobody finds interesting but it's imperative for us to comply) for a fraction of the cost.

So yeah, I can largely work when I want.

(Separately it's an org which allows you to flex your hours any time between 7 and 9pm, so long as you make yourself available for any booked meetings. Lots of people out 4-6 but back online at 6)

We also have staff based in India on my team and they do the same hours as us (standard is 8-4 but we have flexibility, you just have to be online 10-12 and 2-4 (they do let me nip out to get DS from school and I do 7-4 on those days. India is ahead of the UK so you can hear their children in the background. No one minds.

I am prepared to be roasted but I do this. DS is off this week, he was with me all day Tuesday (other days me or DH are off or he is with grandparents). He is 10 and can do his own thing - he came to speak to me a few times and I took him for a walk on lunch but that was it. A younger child would be unworkable but not older if they can entertain themselves.

I wfh full time in IT, I’ve had loads of meetings this week. It doesn’t affect my job. My manager knows and is happy, a few do it and no one takes the piss.

be the same if that person was working part time too I say or if that person is working in a different time zone or works different shifts. unless it's a life or death situation it cab wait till that person is avaliable to respond

But suppose someone needs her during that time, do they just have to accept that she’s working later?

I lead a department with over 40 staff, and my team leaders need to ensure that we are appropriately staffed. As long as the work gets done, and we have the right level of cover I am happy with a degree of flexibility. We all work a hybrid split, but if there is an issue its nipped in the bud.

My stance is that we are paid to do a job, so do it properly, don't take the mickey and there won't be a problem.

If your manager. You have noticed a pattern then time to address it personally with each team member.

Explain their availability and work in afternoon will be monitored moving forward and then if they don't do better put them on a performance plan

I don’t think it’s at all acceptable for people to do this.

No one should be the main carer for primary school kids - or certainly not under 10s - and working. Obviously the odd emergency is fine but not regularly.

It’s not fair on kids or employers.

Of course it’s not acceptable and of course it’s not fair on those working harder and I think it happens a lot. That said, I don’t think it’s the parents’ fault really, once children reach school age then there’s no affordable childcare available unless you’re lucky enough to have family willing to help out. Likewise, gone are the days where one person could work a sensible job with full time hours and a family could live a decent life with one salary. So we’re left with this weird set up where both parents need to work, if they claim benefits they’re looked down upon but there’s no contingency for holidays or children’s’ sickness for working parents. It’s all a bit of a mess and I think a lot of supervisors and managers turn a bit of a blind eye as they realise it’s an impossible situation.

I worked with someone who was unavailable from 1530 to 1800 as she was taking her kids home from school, giving them tea etc. Her DH was home for 1800, he took over and did bath and bed. She then logged on and made up the time. It worked brilliantly. I could trust her and know that everything would be done and waiting for me when I got into work in the morning.

FWIW, I've been telecommuting for years. It used to be standard to have a formal telecommuting agreement which among other things included the worker certifying that they had a private workspace which, at least during working hours, others could not access. If a child at home needed a carer, another carer would be present during scheduled working hours. Of course people would take a break and spend time with their children or go out and drop/collect someone, but they'd mainly use their lunch and breaks and ask for additional time formally if needed.

COVID happened, and employers with no experience with remote work were suddenly allowing (in some circumstances, some would say forcing) workers to work out of whatever space they had available and manage any distractions as well as they could. It's understandable, and was normally accommodated because there was no better option. But when lockdown ended, standards should have been enforced and those without a proper WFH environment required to return to the office full time. Not every company did this, though, and not every manager knows how to manage remote employees effectively.

As it's interfering with your work, I'd tell your boss but don't necessarily lead with "Lucy basically knocks off work for the day when her kids come home at 3" or "Joe disappears for hours a day every school holiday". Start with how Joe's and Lucy's lack of availability or dropped responsibilities impacts YOU and use specific examples, but let management investigate and figure out the root issue for themselves even if you're pretty sure you know what it is. They don't want any possible hint that they're discriminating against an employee for being a parent, but if someone's genuinely not working when scheduled to be, they'll (usually) deal with that when they see it's causing problems that impact work and money.

Typical example of how wfh allows people to take the p *
Not possible to have a hot cup of tea whilst looking after children, let alone 'work'