To ban cooking for teenage boys

Yes but the OP is steadfastly ignoring these suggestions.

Surely stuff like brownie can be cooked when oven in in use anyway rather than heating it again. It does seem very wasteful. Maybe all the people slagging her off can afford hundreds on fuel bills every month

Well surely the fact that they buy their own food for breakfast and lunch more than negates the cooking price? She doesn’t really supply them with a lot of food by the sounds of it. Since they tell her they don’t like cereal or want sandwiches she can’t actually be shopping for this stuff much.

I agree. What an awful way to run a household and raise children.

that's why i said she needs to work out how much extra it is costing.

we have a smart meter so i can see how much we're using daily, and the difference between days we cook and days we don't... and how much that's dropped since having the new cooker/hob & airfryer, compared to the old ones!

No she hasn't. She says she wants them to eat avocado toast instead of pasta. If she wants them to eat avocados, affording it is not the issue.

Plus her concern has changed from the cost of electricity, to waste, to processed foods.

Make food that's not going to cost the earth to cook 3 times a day. I certainly couldn't have afforded to put up with that

So its gone from money to unhealthy food to not listening to you to wasteful?

They can't win really.

With your updates it sounds like more an issue with what they are eating. White pasta is a very normal foodstuff for a teen lad to be wanting. It’s not a hill I’d die on.
Same with oats, they shouldn’t be leaving you without but if they like oats and eat daily I’d just buy bigger bulk bags of cheaper oats.

op has detailed teenagers who have bought with their own money cooking equipment to not make mess, who use their own money to buy food because they’re hungry, and who aren’t allowed to eat ‘her’ oats.
I think it’s a possibility that they are walking on eggs shells around you op, and it isn’t that they are ignoring you, but possibly that they’re trying to avoid you.

you are clearly very stressed about money, but I’d really look to see what you can do to increase that - are you working full time, does their father contribute etc - before you ruin your relationship with your children.

And yet the OP seems to not know how much the extra cooking actually costs.

She's upped her 19 year old's contribution though, and still seems to have no idea if it's covering it.

ftr, we had a new hob/oven in the last 12 months, and an airfryer added into the mix, our daily electricity usage has dropped even though we're not cooking any less.

It may be her hob/cooker are not energy efficient any more.

Yes, and he should be learning to clean up, not wasting money and polluting the planet by using so much disposable stuff. You cook and then you clean up. Don't want to do it? That's life.

No, she resents them costing her massive amounts in electricity when she's explained she can't afford it and asked them to eat cold/not-cooked for for breakfast and lunch.

OP has ignored this question all the way through the thread.

She calls a brownie a meal, that says it all.

I echo those who’ve suggested an air fryer. Very quick and lower cost than heating up an oven etc. Is the issue protein? Could you increase the amount of protein in dinner?

Seems really mean to restrict their pocket money because they are cooking for themselves.
Do you resent your sons op?

No she hasn't. She said they don't eat what she wants them to eat for breakfast and lunch - she offers them cold, so they cook. They may eat extra in the evening, sometimes protein brownies by her own admission. That's not 2 extra meals in addition to 3 family meals.

I’ve reduced the pocket money for 15 and 17 year old already to make them realise but then they seem to think they are paying to cook ..... I like their reasoning.... canny lads you've got there!! 😀

Op are you sure that’s the electric issue? If it’s the hob not the oven I don’t know that it would cause a huge jump?

Not read more than the first page.

Change Tack.

Work out how much extra their cooking is adding to the electricity, then charge them each a set amount Per Day for using the cooker. Then physically deduct that from their pocket money before handing it over.

That might get them to realise.

My 16 yo DS is always hungry! He’s not a big lad but is obviously needing the fuel right now. He always wants snacks (I feed him meals as well and he gets double what I eat). I’d be over the moon if he wanted to cook stuff for himself! (As long as he tidied up).

I think the issue is (1) you’re not giving them what they want. The things you suggested are carb heavy. They want more protein. I get that you don’t like the idea of processed meat, but have you offered protein based alternatives? Chicken? Turkey? (BTW I think it might be written in law that all teenage boys want bacon sandwiches though!) (2) you’re not accepting that they are just hungry! They need more food.

You have offered alternatives they don’t want, cut their pocket money and got annoyed they haven’t obeyed your instructions to stop feeding themselves. They’re hungry!!

I’m sure you can find a compromise. I think you’re being very unreasonable, sorry. Teenage boys eat a LOT and it costs a lot to feed them. Although sounds like they’re buying their own food a lot of the time as you won’t give them the food they want. That’s fair enough if you don’t want to buy it. Though personally I tend to compromise. My kids want to eat crap, so I buy some crap, but also try and give them healthy meals as well. Sounds as if you refuse to buy them anything they want. Then complain when they buy it themselves!. As I say, am sure there are ways to cut down on mess and cooking (as people have suggested air fryer etc).

Meet them halfway instead of insisting they eat what you tell them to eat.

@PurpleThistle7 I think some parents just don’t catch on their dc are older and just carry on as they always have. Yet often they will expect them to go to uni at 18 and haven’t equipped them with skills.

She said they are cooking 2 extra meals. In addition to 3 family meals.