Page 2 | Aibu to find this a bit weird? Ds school friend

Ragingoverlife · 18/02/2026 15:18

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Bex071509 · 18/02/2026 15:11

Ragingoverlife · 18/02/2026 14:08

Do you have a large nice house? Is it possible that she feels embarrassed. I will only invite certain children to my house.

Years ago a child said why is your house so small? Mines much bigger and better than yours. Not the child's fault. But I didn't invite many kids after that unless I know they live in a similar sized house.

Show quote history

Wow- I’m so surprised that a comment from a child has now made you feel like you can’t invite others over.

I had exactly the same with my eldest child- a friend of his asked why our house was small, I replied & just said, we like to be cosy. That was it- no big deal. He came over again! Kids are kids.

BoredZelda · 18/02/2026 14:21

Maybe if Tom, Dick and Harry are at her house so much, she finds it nice that sometimes her kid goes somewhere else for a change.

Bloodycrossstitch · 18/02/2026 14:20

Do you know where she stays? Embarrassment because you’ve got a much bigger/ nicer house than her is the first thing I thought of

AgentPidge · 18/02/2026 14:15

Ragingoverlife · 18/02/2026 14:08

Do you have a large nice house? Is it possible that she feels embarrassed. I will only invite certain children to my house.

Years ago a child said why is your house so small? Mines much bigger and better than yours. Not the child's fault. But I didn't invite many kids after that unless I know they live in a similar sized house.

Show quote history

It's daft to let some random comment from a child dictate your behaviour. "That's not a very nice thing to say, Rupert. It's how we treat other people that's important, not how big our house is!"

Ireallywantadoughnut36 · 18/02/2026 14:11

Is it possible that there's a wealth gap, could she have seen your home and feel embarrassed about hers for some reason....? Perhaps tidiness/standards or size or something else that makes her think it'd be awkward?

Ragingoverlife · 18/02/2026 14:08

Ellieshomeagain · 18/02/2026 07:45

About 18 months ago, ds10 made a new friend at school. They’d always been friends but they started to become close friends. It was clear at class parties and stuff that the two of them were always paired off together.

The mum of the boy started messaging me asking me if the boys could meet up outside school. She’d also message me regularly saying how lovely my ds was and how the boys were best friends, she’d always want to know what my ds was wearing for dress up and non uniform days and if he was going to after school clubs.

I invited her ds over to our house loads of times and he always came over, I took them out a couple of times too.

She has never reciprocated by having ds over to her house. That didn’t really bother me, as I thought perhaps she was busy or perhaps she didn’t like hosting play dates. But then I found out that the boy has had other friends over.

Aibu to feel a bit hurt by it and find it odd?

Do you have a large nice house? Is it possible that she feels embarrassed. I will only invite certain children to my house.

Years ago a child said why is your house so small? Mines much bigger and better than yours. Not the child's fault. But I didn't invite many kids after that unless I know they live in a similar sized house.

Moonnstarz · 18/02/2026 08:16

Ellieshomeagain · 18/02/2026 07:52

Da asked me a few times if he could go to this boys house and I told him you have to be invited. But I did suggest to ds that he could ask his friend.

Ds was like when can I go to Toms house because Oliver, Jake and Freddie go over all the time. (Not their real names).

Then this week another mutual friend told ds that he’s going to Toms house this week.

It’s one of those things I’m not going to lose sleep over it but I just wonder why.

Show quote history

There is still the possibility that even in year 6 they are not telling the truth....they might also want to go to friends house but whether they really do is a different matter.

Also it may be because the parents are friends and they go because the mums then catch up too.

I wouldn't say anything though as it seems rude to ask, and maybe cut back on inviting the other boy round.

MeatyMagda · 18/02/2026 08:15

Oh my DS had a friend like this at that age. The parents just knew that they could exploit me for loads of child care and fun activities. Her DS did like mine and did have a great time at our house and all the activities we took him to (and paid for), but it was just the default and expectation that I would provide all the entertainment and food and fun times for both boys. Went on for a few years until the other DC had enough of the gravy train/the boys became old enough to just arrange their own activities and promptly jibbed my DS off for cooler friends. Still annoyed at myself for being such a mug.

Agix · 18/02/2026 08:10

And what was the response when your son asked his friend if he could go over to his house sometime?

Original poster

Ellieshomeagain · 18/02/2026 08:09

There’s definitely nothing like allergies or anything like that, and my ds is so easy going and well behaved.

I did wonder if there was a bit of story telling with the boys. Now that they’re all in year 6 they have phones. The other thing I wondered was whether the mum was pushing the friendship a bit more than her ds was really in it.

OP posts:

Clairey1986 · 18/02/2026 08:00

Hmmm how odd. Is the mum good friends with those boys’ parents maybe? Are they defo going or is this just stories from these boys?

My only other thought was does your son have any severe allergies or something that she isn’t confident managing safely?

redboxerclub · 18/02/2026 07:57

I think you can ask? sounds like you regularly message the mum. “Alfie keeps pestering me about coming to you house! Is he ok to come over today with Oliver, Jake and Freddie?

On the face of it it is odd but I think maybe just communication

Original poster

Ellieshomeagain · 18/02/2026 07:52

FasterMichelin · 18/02/2026 07:48

That is odd, my first thoughts were that she’s embarrassed to have people round but obviously not. How do you know they’ve had others round? Regularly and recently?

Have you suggested to your son to ask to go round there?

Da asked me a few times if he could go to this boys house and I told him you have to be invited. But I did suggest to ds that he could ask his friend.

Ds was like when can I go to Toms house because Oliver, Jake and Freddie go over all the time. (Not their real names).

Then this week another mutual friend told ds that he’s going to Toms house this week.

It’s one of those things I’m not going to lose sleep over it but I just wonder why.

OP posts:

Cobwebsofwisdom · 18/02/2026 07:49

Maybe her son has expressed that he prefers your house and she doesnt think it worth mentioning?

FasterMichelin · 18/02/2026 07:48

That is odd, my first thoughts were that she’s embarrassed to have people round but obviously not. How do you know they’ve had others round? Regularly and recently?

Have you suggested to your son to ask to go round there?