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AIBU?

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Original poster

Letting 16 year old DS have girlfriend sleep over?

108 replies

VoteForPedro · 17/02/2026 20:14

My DS has a girlfriend, they are both 16 and turning 17 in the next few months. Been seeing each other for a good few months. His gf has only been over a few times to hang out in the evening. He said she doesn’t have a lift home after a party they are going to soon. I’m wondering whether to offer her to stay?

AIBU to say she can stay over? Not sure whether to allow them to sleep in the same (single) bed 😬 or for her to have his bed and he sleeps in with his brother in another room. Or just say no to it and she has to find somewhere else to stay or find a lift home.

It all seems a bit grown up but I’m aware what age they are too 🙈. This is all new territory for me as she’s DS’s first gf, WWYD?

OP posts:
titchy · 17/02/2026 21:12

Why on earth would you even contemplate her staying in the same single bed as him then if they haven’t had sex yet? That’s putting her in a really awkward situation - that’s the weird thing about your post.

user2848502016 · 17/02/2026 21:11

I’d offer for her to stay but in separate rooms. If they’re not having sex yet it could put way too much pressure on things to allow them
to share a room

Netcurtainnelly · 17/02/2026 21:09

cramptramp · 17/02/2026 20:50

Why on earth why do you want to know exactly where and when your child is having sex? I think that’s weird.

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Absolutely some people are over invested
My mum never nosed in my sex life thankfully and I was fine

LastSeenDancing · 17/02/2026 21:04

VoteForPedro · 17/02/2026 21:00

@LastSeenDancing not sure why it sounds like something is off? DS said to me today they are going to a party, his GF can’t get a lift home so is wondering where to stay. He’s had his male pals stay over before so I said ‘you’re a bit young for her to be staying over’ and he said ‘she can maybe ask X (girl who’s having the party) but could she maybe stay here if she can’t?’ I said probably not but if she did it would be in separate beds. Then I got thinking what is reasonable so posted on here as it’s all new to me.

Because your son has told you they’re not having sex but you think it’s ok to offer for her to stay and possibly in a single bed with your son. That’s really weird.

Original poster
VoteForPedro · 17/02/2026 21:00

@LastSeenDancing not sure why it sounds like something is off? DS said to me today they are going to a party, his GF can’t get a lift home so is wondering where to stay. He’s had his male pals stay over before so I said ‘you’re a bit young for her to be staying over’ and he said ‘she can maybe ask X (girl who’s having the party) but could she maybe stay here if she can’t?’ I said probably not but if she did it would be in separate beds. Then I got thinking what is reasonable so posted on here as it’s all new to me.

OP posts:
Thechaseison71 · 17/02/2026 20:54

cramptramp · 17/02/2026 20:50

Why on earth why do you want to know exactly where and when your child is having sex? I think that’s weird.

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I preferred my daughters to have the boyfriends over at mine rather than them staying at theirs At least I knew then if they had an argument then FDs were already safely home

Createausername1970 · 17/02/2026 20:53

I would offer to let her sleep over, but be clear it would be separately.

When DS had a girlfriend stay over when he was about 14, she had his bed and he had a blow-up on the lounge floor, which the dog enjoyed sleeping on too 🤣

Olderandwiserpossibly · 17/02/2026 20:53

Tiptopflipflop · 17/02/2026 20:16

If they want to be having sex they will be, so I'd let her stay over. I'd rather they were doing it at home than in a park or whatever.

Perhaps they don't want to have sex yet?
Perhaps they don't feel ready for it?

You are automatically assuming every 16 year old wants a sexual relationship. No wonder young people feel so pressurised.

OP is entirely reasonable in not enabling these 16 year olds to jump into a sexual relationship.

Thechaseison71 · 17/02/2026 20:53

OhDear111 · 17/02/2026 20:47

What can a parent not pick her up? I always picked up my DDs from parties. Never would I want them knowingly in a single bed with a boy. If she stays, are parents picking her up the next day? I’d make sure DS was on the sofa! Or at least started off there. Her parents need to be consulted though.

Not all parents drive you know!!

Neither of mine did , nor did many of my friends parents. We made our way home and were younger than that

cramptramp · 17/02/2026 20:50

Tiptopflipflop · 17/02/2026 20:16

If they want to be having sex they will be, so I'd let her stay over. I'd rather they were doing it at home than in a park or whatever.

Why on earth why do you want to know exactly where and when your child is having sex? I think that’s weird.

LastSeenDancing · 17/02/2026 20:50

Something is off here. Apparently your son hasn’t asked, they haven’t slept together but you’re considering them sharing a single bed…. 🤔

Original poster
VoteForPedro · 17/02/2026 20:50

I have no idea why her parents can’t pick her up. I think it’s best she stays over at the party house or at a female friends. It just feels too soon for me. Maybe once they’ve been seeing each other for a good while longer and are over 17 it will feel different. I also don’t want to encourage it and I’m in denial at my baby being at this stage!

OP posts:
Tablesandchairs23 · 17/02/2026 20:50

Id offer for her to stay in different bedrooms.

CinnamonBuns67 · 17/02/2026 20:48

I'd certainly give the choice, I'd ask her whether she would prefer to sleep over or for me to take her home.

OhDear111 · 17/02/2026 20:47

What can a parent not pick her up? I always picked up my DDs from parties. Never would I want them knowingly in a single bed with a boy. If she stays, are parents picking her up the next day? I’d make sure DS was on the sofa! Or at least started off there. Her parents need to be consulted though.

Nofeckingway · 17/02/2026 20:46

I might be OK with her staying in his room and he bunks in with his brother . Apart from their age , I wouldn't want anyone in a relationship of just a few months sleep together in my house . And that went for my DCs in their early 20s while living here . Told them I didn't want a parade of random partners at the breakfast table . 🤐
But has he asked you ? Really it's up to her parents to ensure their daughter's safety home.

Mathsdebator · 17/02/2026 20:45

If they're not having sex I'd not want to put the offer of sharing to them. I'd keep it casual the first sleepover, especially after a party, and offer her ds' bed alone this time

If they push back it opens the conversation then you can decide what you're comfortable with

Icecreamisthebest · 17/02/2026 20:44

No. She must have friends she can stay with surely? Can she spend the night at the party house - it's fairly common at house parties that lots of people stay over.

Otherwise you're setting a precedent that any GF gets to stay over if they don't have a lift home.

Cosyblankets · 17/02/2026 20:44

If they wanted to do it they would but he said they haven't.
If he's breeding honest with you maybe they don't feel ready.
If she's not asked to stay and neither has he then i wouldn't offer.
At that age my parents would have picked me up or made sure i had enough put aside for a taxi.
It's not your issue

EmeraldShamrock000 · 17/02/2026 20:44

No. I'd consider allowing her stay over in separate rooms, not a chance they'd be sleeping together.

ThornsInACheapBouquet · 17/02/2026 20:43

I would consider allowing her to stay but not in the same room.

SlinkyMalink · 17/02/2026 20:41

Stepdown · 17/02/2026 20:34

It’s a lot of pressure for a young girl to enter into a full on sexual relationship at age 16. I wouldn’t encourage it and I’d be pissed off if the parent of a 16 year old boy encouraged it.

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I agree.

tryingtobesogood · 17/02/2026 20:41

No, I wouldn’t offer. She can stay at a friends if she’s stuck for a lift. Or her parents could offer to pick her up. It’s not a problem for you to solve.

deedeemeloy · 17/02/2026 20:40

I have a nearly 17 year old daughter. She has had her boyfriend stay here, and she has slept at his. In her friendship group most that have boyfriends have started sleeping over at each others houses. We have had open conversations about contraception etc.

Topjoe19 · 17/02/2026 20:38

I wouldn't. Just take her home.