Letting 16 year old DS have girlfriend sleep over?

When i was that age my bf was allowed to stay over but not in my bed, he had to sleep in the spare room and it was like that for the entire time i lived at home. My Mum was fully aware but ignored that my bf and I slept together most nights at uni but during holidays, when he visited, he was in the spare room. It only changed after I moved out and she couldn't pretend any longer we didn't sleep together. If they and you are ok them sleeping together, just go with it, maybe leave some protection in your son's room and invest in some ear plugs.

I had similar agonies when my 16 year old wanted his 16 plus 2 days girlfriend to stay. But I allowed them, together since he was 15, her 14, to do so with the agreement of her mother. They’re now 30, and married with a baby.
Just sometimes you might need to consider your child might be wiser at life than you were.

I didn't think you were trying to push anything. And in your opening post you clearly had a grimace after the option of them in the same room, so it was pretty obvious this was not what you would want.

I honestly don't know why some posters have been banging on (pun intended) about it!

Offer a lift, or maybe the option where he bunks in with his brother.

You say that you don't think they're having sex yet, so suggesting that they share a room is not a good idea - if they're not sure if they're ready for sex, they may not want to be put in that position - and especially if one is and one isn't.

At 16 years old I stayed at my boyfriend’s house and he stayed at mine, I had the bed in both houses and he was made to sleep downstairs on the sofa!
What our parents didn’t know was we were having sex downstairs before I was going up to bed!
This was early 80’s, and we’re still together now
We got our own house when I was 18, he was 2 years older than me

Dd is also 19 on a gap year so far she has gone to: Tanzania, Belfast, Japan, Leeds, Manchester and is off to Thailand in April having a boyfriend doesn't seem to be clipping her wings too much...

I don’t want my teenagers to be in such serious relationships when they are fifteen. I would rather that they had lots of girlfriends and boyfriends during those teenage years. I want them to go places and meet people and do things. Not settle down and start looking at sofas or whatever. And in my experience you are less likely to do that if you are in a serious relationship because there are two people to consider rather than just one. I also had a lovely boyfriend in sixth form and that relationship kept going through most of the first year at university. It definitely affected my experience there because I didn’t do some of the things that I should have been doing at eighteen because I had a boyfriend.

I’ve got a nineteen year old and yesterday she FaceTimed from university to say that she was going to Paris in the Easter holidays because one of her flatmates lives there and invited her for the Easter holiday. I don’t think she would be doing things like that if she had been in a relationship for four years.

An option. Not that's what should happen

Yes she is. Her post included this as an option for after the party. Not a ‘would this be ok at some point in the future’.

She isn't She's asking what she should do. And yeah let the girl stay and the boy can bunk in with brother. No pressure and everyone happy ( except maybe brother)

It’s a lot of pressure because their relationship hasn’t reached that stage yet, and here’s the boys mum trying to push that on to her.

Why is it a lot of pressure ? I had a wonderful boyfriend in 6th form a very positive expeeience, Dd is 19 she has been with her bf since she was 15. Your attitude is alien to me.

Use it as an opportunity to get to know her.

she can stay in his room alone and it’s about trusting them.

id rather they were both in a safe place after the party tbh.

I can’t see an issue with her staying over at all( in a separate room) . I’d rather that than she took a taxi home alone .

I’d offer stay over as I would any friend but diff rooms

I didn't let my kids' bfs stay over. It would have been the same for gfs.

He’s asked if she can stay if she has no where else to go and can’t get a lift.
I say that’s ok, nice of him to be asking to be honest and shows respect. He could have sneaked her in and you could have woken up to her at breakfast!
I think you can offer her a place to stay, you can set some ground rules that you are comfortable with and I’d make sure to speak to her parents too.
Id be having a conversation about safe sex and also consent.
You don’t want to feel uncomfortable in your own home but you have to appreciate he’s getting older and if he’s got a girlfriend will be having sex at some point.
Time for a double bed for his next birthday!!!

I don’t think so. How would any parent not realise that offering your 16 year olds gf to stay over in a single bed together when they’re not having sex, is not appropriate? Something isn’t adding up.

People saying something feels ‘off’ are overthinking, OP is asking for advice as she’s not sure what is normal and it’s her first time dealing with it.

Agree she either stays elsewhere or stays in a different room. My boyfriend stayed overnight at mine in my bed from 6 months plus, we were 17 (about to be 18) and nearly off to uni. I had a double bed. With his parents we were 18 and had been together a year and we stayed in spare room as he had a single bed. Both/either were fine in my view.

Speak to her parents if you’re not sure but no reason she can’t stay over separately.

@VioletBees Yes, once they’re adults they can do what they like and some parents prefer not to encourage sleepovers until then.

Yes, that really weird and I agree with the poster who said something feels off.

Not too young. In 18 months they could be at Uni living completely separate from you. I'd allow her to stay but have a conversation about contraception, respect and not making this a super regular thing.

My DD’s bf at 16 wasn’t allowed to stay over, his parents wouldn’t have allowed it. They made it clear that they didn’t want any sleepovers and we completely agreed. Don’t feel that you have to offer, @VoteForPedro, she can stay with a friend.

DD and her then-bf weren’t having sex elsewhere, many teenagers aren’t ready at that age.

I would possibly let stay, but her in his room and him in with his brother, and I likely read the riot act about not sneaking into his room when he thinks everyone is asleep. But being a party, and them 16, I would guess alcohol will be consumed, so maybe that would make too much temptation for them…