Women should prioritise their children and not getting a man

The old 'she is a woman she doesn't know how to use her little brain' gets tiresome

Yet people want women in important jobs and to be treated equally as responsible as men?

Yet we have they cant be responsible they dont know what they are doing?

Are daughters really being taught this? Sticking the label vulnerable on to them is not an excuse

You mean apart from the daily threads that are pretty much solely about that?

Totally agree. Abusive men are aware post partum mothers are vulnerable and easily taken advantage of. They may aswell walk around with a target on their back. Sadly see it all the time that it results in child death. Just last week I saw a 19 yo single mother left her son with her new older boyfriend of A WEEK and he shook her poor baby to death.

My ex found a new partner (didn’t last long) that he moved in with four months after our baby was born and I don’t think anyone started threads about him… if they are truly 5050 then she’s got plenty of time for dating. But of course it’s not safe to expose children to new partners that quickly!

‘Patents should…’ rather than women should, please!
gosh I can’t believe a newborn is away from its mum 5050 how does that work?

Tptally agree.

Have you asked her why she feels the need to move, rather than just dating this man during her free time when her daughter is with the dad? Moving in with a boyfriend of two months is a bad idea in general, even without a baby and as you said, moving out of a safe situation into a potentially dangerous or even just unstable one (what happens if they break up?) is reckless. And, of course, it's a bad idea to get into a new relationship at all while in the early stages of getting help with MH issues, especially one accelerating this rapidly.

You said she's been getting some support via her GP, mothers' groups, etc. Is she seeing a therapist or counsellor at all? A professional she trusts who already knows her situation might help her think through the pros and cons of making this move right now. She probably also should not be drinking either, given the new PND diagnosis.

If she's really struggling, it might be best for the baby to go to the father full time for a bit, if he can handle it.

Dad should go for custody

But she needs to put her baby first
That comes with motherhood.
She has had a baby outside of a relationship and is therefore in a vulnerable position, the baby even more so.
OP has provided a lot of support.
PND is a nightmare and those affected need all the support they can get.
Being in a new relationship so soon after the baby is red flags all around

Same.

YANBU. I work with children in a safeguarding role and come across many parents (men and women) prioritise romantic relationships over their children's stability, happiness and, sadly, in some cases safety.

YANBU but it sounds like you don't really want to be friends with her anymore

Did you read the OP? She’s going to move this newborn in with a man she doesn’t know.

She’s going to lose her housing and become even more vulnerable than she is now.

She has a responsibility to take care of the baby, at the most basic level keeping it alive! And while it sounds like the baby’s dad is doing a decent enough job, surely you don’t really think it’s okay for a new mother with PND to leave a newborn baby to go out drinking?

This is the kind of situation in which we should all be a lot more judgemental and drop the BS about it being fine for the mum to do whatever she wants. It’s not fine, it’s very dangerous for her and horribly dangerous for the baby.

But not that many posts about people complaining about their deadbeat friends who are bad fathers

OP is complaining about a friend, not about her ex

Why have you decided she ,s mentally unwell ?
She could just be a person who makes poor decisions.

I voted YABU because of your gross, stereotypical title tarring all single mothers as if we don’t have it hard enough as it is.

Yes, this case you are right, but most single parents I know are intensely dedicated to their children. Out of all single mothers I know only one is really messy/bad parent.

She's not having the baby 50/50 and dating in her childfree time though, she's also leaving the baby with the baby's dad more than 50/50 or her mum babysits so she can spend more time with her her boyfriend.

Poor child. Nobody was looking out for them.
How can anyone even contemplate dating when they are pregnant. Focus should be on them and their baby

How 😢 and scummy.

I used to work with someone who started a relationship while she was pregnant.

She left her baby with him a 6 weeks old to go on a night out and sadly the new partner assulted the baby and killed him.

I always wondered what kind of man wants a relationship with a woman pregnant by someone else it's weird.

YANBU OP. In a similar vein, I’m always baffled when an OP is considering leaving their vile partner/husband, and you always get ‘you’ll meet someone new’ comments Like that’s the be all and end all.

That's like two thirds of this entire website 😂

I don’t understand people of any gender who get into new relationships with almost newborns.

I also don’t understand the people who date them.

There are hundreds upon thousands of these, rightly so

You say she HAD PND and has a 4 month old baby. Baby blues may only last a few weeks, but PND doesn't go away so quickly. I do get your frustration with her but she is likely to still have a mental health condition and be very vulnerable. Judgement won't help, maybe try and approach this in a more supportive way. Moving in with someone so quickly is risky, have you spoke to her about the risks and how to protect herself such as keeping her own home, doing a Claire's Law request. It's not your responsibility, but given the support you gave previously I'd guess you do care for your friend.