To consider rehoming dog

Thank you, you have been absolutely lovely to me. When I started this thread I can honestly say I was at my wits end and had absolutely no clue what to do. The thing is with something like this, unless you are living through it it's impossible to explain to people who haven't experienced it and the only other person is my husband and we are at loggerheads. I absolutely needed to gain perspective and the more I've really started to speak about it openly without trying to downplay it to avoid adding fuel to the fire, it's become absolutely clear it's not sustainable. This led to me and DH having our first real conversation without putting blame on each other and being resentful for about two years, and to be honest looking at it now I'm gobsmacked that it hasn't broken us because both of us have been feeling so resentful of the other about the whole situation and instead of pulling together we have been pushing each other. Trying to explain it to other people IRL makes it seem so trivial, but each issue is part of a bigger picture isn't it? Half of the issue is I never ever thought I'd ever even consider giving a dog up and maybe there was a bit of ego involved that made me pigheaded, but like I say I've grown up with dogs and they have always been part of the family. Its also so difficult because 90% of the time he's absolutely my dream dog, but talking it through on this thread has made me realise I've become a prisoner in my own home, as have my family and the second dog.

The holding his collar and trying to soothe him would have exacerbated the situation, because if he was free behind the baby gate he could have moved away, as it was he felt restrained and threatened.

Advertising a dog on Facebook or looking on Facebook to find an adopter is extremely foolish. The dog needs to be assessed by a responsible, trained person, a charity so that any decision made is in the dog's best interests. Otherwise the dog could become more anxious and respond by biting not just threatening to bite. The RSPCA don't take aggressive dogs, many rescues don't. Just for info. If they don't why would a random person on Facebook be able to cope.

Thank you for your reply. Is really difficult because he loves the house environment with us 5 in it.... As. Long as that's it! The attempted bite situation is so difficult to explain, I know what you mean about the air bite, he does that at the vets, but the only reason he didn't make contact with the child is because there was a baby gate, I was literally standing their with my hand on his collar because I was trying to stroke him to calm him whilst making an introduction, and thst the child pulled her hand away. But it happped in the blink of any eye, literally from being a nuisance barking to switching. I really hope its just warnings but I can't keep him and others safe if I take a risk.

I've got to say she was amazing on the phone, very understanding and very very thorough. I'm just keeping everything crossed x

Trouble is with the cute pretty dogs it's the little old ladies who want to adopt them. They often want a furry baby and the dog gets isolated with a daily on lead, slow walk around the block. Then, due to being babied, often develop other issues such as resource guarding etc.

It's a pretty dog - that's goes a long way in finding a new home.
OP needs to contact several dog homes to find the right person for the dog.
It is not suited to children as it is too easily excited and scared.
An older person living alone looking for company is the best bet.

Not true if it is done correctly.
I've only ever had rescue dogs and cats myself and some have taken a year to settle down.

The person taking on this dog needs to be someone with the time, the patience and the will to put it at ease.

You only put an animal down as a last resort.

OPs household is far too noisy and stressful for this dog.
It could settle in a different environment and deserves a chance to do that.

A quiet household with no other animals and no children would be best and I think the dog deserves that at least.

Start the process of rehoming the two dogs - separately.
Your DH does not want a dog and the dog will sense that which contributes to its anxiety.

I am sure there is a suitable person out there who would take on the cavapoo on its own. That would appear to be the best option for the dog to have a chance to stay alive. It needs a quiet environment with someone who has a lot of time for a lapdog which is what this dog is bred to be. Your home is too busy and stressful for this dog.

Thank you! Sorry maybe I wasn't clear in my posts! Lady from spaniel aid isn't sure because he will need a special foster so she's not sure of they are in a position to say yes, so she needs to run the decision past the trustees first, so hopefully will have a decision by tomorrow either way.

Thank you! Sorry maybe I wasn't clear in my posts! Lady from spaniel aid isn't sure because he will need a special foster so she's not sure of they are in a position to say yes, so she needs to run the decision past the trustees first, so hopefully will have a decision by tomorrow either way.

I spoke to the lady at spaniel aid last night and she needs to discuss the case with the other trustees and hopefully get back to me by tomorrow, I will wait to hear from her before contacting doodle aid so I don't waste her time in case there is something going on behind the scenes x

Absolutely. It would be different if it was basic training with a dog who wasn't anxious, but actually a dog with his temperament would only respond in fear and that's not ethical and wouldn't actually change anything so realistically we would be putting him through a massive trauma, with no positive outcome and potential PTSD which could manifest in a terrible way in the future. Its not training he needs if that makes sense?

Thank you, you are completely right. We could not love him more but it just isn't enough. I honestly am just hoping a rescue programme will be able to support us, we actually did look into some residential training programmes because we thought maybe we were the problem and I would be happy to hold my hands up and say it was beyond us, but one used very questionable methods and the other did say that whilst they may be able to resolve the issue, it would only be whilst he was away from us and because of the way he was wired once he was home it would be the same again.

OP - only the truly stupid would advise going against vets advice with a dog they haven’t even met. You wouldn’t catch a professional doing that, so please, please ignore the well meaning but clearly clueless posters advising you to do X Y and Z
As a professional, there is a route to your dog potentially being able to live a fuller,happier existence. That’s never going to be in your home though….4 years of trying everything possible have proved that.
It IS maybe possible in a quieter home where an experienced person can start again with a clean slate. You are now fighting against a pattern of learned behaviour and CER (conditioned emotional response) which makes changing his behaviour nigh on impossible in your own home
Rehoming is the kindest thing you can do for him. I have everything crossed for you that a rescue comes through and offers a foster space and that giving him up for adoption is the hardest thing you have to do for him.
Try not to take on board the ranting posts - the rescue did not judge you, if you came to me as a client I wouldn’t judge you either. Some match ups are just inherently not right through nobody’s fault

No one suggested putting your kids at risk Op. They simply suggested a different vet practice not buying him drugs off the street corner.

I don't really understand why you made the post when you have admitted you are done trying.