Strange situation on the train with parent

The father was an unmitigated tosspot. I’m guessing you’re not a six-foot-six built-like-brick-shithouse male because somehow I don’t think he’d have done that if you were.

Absolutely gross. I don’t blame you OP, but then would have probably said something. I think all regard for my own safety disappeared out of the window along with my ovarian function since being menopausal.
Men like this are gross. Was there anywhere you could have moved to?

I’m ashamed to say I’ve ended my son’s swimming lessons sooner than planned because I just can’t cope with other people any more.😳 Every week it’s the same children issuing blood-curdling screams in the little soft play area, running up and down and clambering on the backs of the seating I’m sitting on. The noise just goes straight through me and makes me wince. Headphones don’t help. I’m afraid I told one to “Go away and sit down” last week.

This was after one of its useless parents had come and sat next to me, stinking so badly of fags that I had to move.🤢 I can’t be certain the words “Euugh, you stink!” didn’t exit my mouth as I got up either.

I think I would have moved seats, if possible.
Like others said, he was trying to intimidate you and I think would have had a way of being thoroughly nasty if you had communicated in any way with them.
Steer clear of people like that!

We assume the OP doesn't eat like that.

This is fairly typical of a new type of parenting, teachers see it a lot. Rather than agree the child should be wearing the uniform, go in and argue your whole family only wear sliders as if it is a religious rite. These people end up with what they deserve.

Just give him some time....

Well let's be honest - he was, wasn’t he? You were staring and you got caught out. And now you’re complaining about the result.

You were and are giving this too much headspace. It was a kid eating a wine gum in a slightly unpleasant way. He wasn’t drowning puppies.

No she wasn't - I was referring to my reaction to the woman which would have been anti-social had I acted on my instincts.

Gross! The dad was a wanker, there’s no need for him to do anything like that - it’s just unnecessary posturing.

Honestly it’s why you couldn’t get me on public transport if you paid me, cba dealing with that sort of situation!

Or most likely he was just a little twat being brought up by a big twat.

Ugh. I usually have headphones and bury my head in a book on the train.

You haven't met my enormous ex who is a very big man.

He constantly had men being arse hole's to him just because.

So this is something I think about. What if you were autistic and/or had misophonia and weren't merely judging but actively uncomfortable? (I understand you were actively uncomfortable, most people would be, even if they masked it).

Who has a need in this situation? The boy to chew loudly and with his mouth open, or the person who is struggling with the behaviour more than averagely? Or both?

It's a parents job to notice when their child is doing something that makes someone uncomfortable and weigh up whether on balance it is appropriate to try to help their child to modify their behaviour or take another action. It's not always a straight forward judgment call or we wouldn't have aibu.

In this case the man behaved in a way that was meant to be intimidating and the kid learns this is an appropriate way to go on.

This sort of thing is discussed online under, how to intimate women. It used to be spitting etc as they walked past. But that often now gets picked up on by other men/against the rules on public transport etc.
I deliberately play games on my phone, so I appear busy. This stuff is all over the manosphere.

This. It was performative. Be grateful they were only in your life briefly!

I saw an huge child in a kids play area who was just rough and feral and throwing things. Someone told him off and his pig of a mother then came in and started throwing the toy balls at kids and they were laughing. Absolute scum pair.

Her behaviour was fine. Human beings are not robots, if someone is behaving anti-socially, it’s natural to look.

Kid has obviously learnt his manners from his Neanderthal dad

Disgusting. You did well not to say anything. I’d have had to leave my seat, even if it meant standing in another carriage.

They just wouldn’t do it to a big man, they are cowards.

The point is your dgd was not being anti-social, this man was.

Why are you making a false equivalence here?

Some people are just arseholes who like to make a point.

I don't think he was doing it to you because you're a woman though, people like that are twats to everyone.

Sigh. That is not within the OP’s gift. She can only control her own behaviour

YANBU.

The ‘father’ was being rude, intimidating and setting a bad example. A-hole.

I think if a mother had reacted in a similarly PA way to someone "looking a moment to long" at her child's poor behaviour, she'd be getting applauded....