Strange situation on the train with parent

Fair, but the girl's response might be sublimated. She might idealise her father and accept worthless, violent men as a partner. Or the boy might reject his father's behaviour and turn out differently. We don't really know.

My child wouldn't be able to keep his mouth shut while eating, he does have sen.
But I would try and limit that on other people, by offering food that is not so chewy or if not a long ride wait until we got of.
I would never try and make anyone feel uncomfortable, but if you were staring at my child think about how uncomfortable that makes us feel to.

Eating pop tarts for breakfast but they were using cutlery so that's perfectly reasonable?

I don't think they've even allowed to show children eating stuff like that in adverts anymore as it's so unhealthy.

I do not agree with what the father did at all. That was unnecessary and rude. However, someone really close to me has had a blocked nose and cold like symptoms since they were 4 due to an infection, meaning they physically cannot eat with their mouth closed, as they wouldn't be able to breath. They have had surgery and medical treatment but nothing has worked, so they essentially live with a cold but with no cotton wool head. I know this isn't the case in every situation, but I would hate to think people were judging them as rude and disgusting for something they can't help. It isnt always possible to not eat in public, especially when travelling. I don't know whether the boy was going through something similar though so it could have been unnecessary in his case.

And the girl will follow the example set by the father too. I know females are deemed as perfect on MN but to leave the girl out of the equation purely because of that is ridiculous. You are implying that despite being set the same example, she will rise above it as the saintly female she is. She won't. Male and female children raised in the same awful way will both likely turn out to be dreadful adults.

Yes, there is a reason.

It's called feral parenting.

Maybe the boy has Autism and couldn't help himself

Why 'obviously'?

Just never been taught the right way by the sound of it

I agree, it’s funny I never have to put up with any shit on trains from arseholes when I’m travelling with male DP. On my own, I’m always waiting for the next crappy thing to happen involving a crappy bloke.

Which he will be if he grows up with those manners

Oh yes. God forbid a mere woman has anything but a blank, expressionless face in public, at all times, in the presence of males. Blessed be the fruit.

I teach teens. Some if the younger boys still pick their nose. I don't say anything but I will rest my gaze on them a moment or two longer than usual and they get the idea and stop. There is nothing wrong at all in an adult mildly indictating to a PhD that they are behaving in a way that is generally unacceptable.

Unfortunately there are a lot of parents like this around. Don't want to parent their child at all so let them do whatever they like or can't be bothered. There was a thread on here recently where someone got very upset because their DH told their dd to close her mouth when eating sweets.

He probably knows his son is anti social and where he gets it from. Probably encourages it. No doubt, his son will grow up as anti social as his father. Which is sad for society but absolutely no blame at all on the OP.

I sat opposite a woman on the train going to work at the weekend. She was coughing and not covering her mouth. She saw me look and continued theatrically.
I just covered my nose and mouth with my scarf and turned my head away.
I deliberated saying something, but didn't want to waste my energy.

YANBU

Ugh some people are awful. Good manners are about consideration for others in shared public spaces. That parent had no idea, and he's raising a potential young thug.

Well he was and quite rightly so. You had a choice to speak upor stay quiet and from the sounds of it, it was the right thing to do or it would have escalated.

Dad should have pulled his son up, not joined it. But then you walk away and think, poor kid with a Dad like that!

And quite right too!

Where did this flabby shite of "don't judge" come from.

For the most part, it just benefits the shits, the ignorant and the gross.

It's about time we got back to judging those who have pulled society down to the level of a zoo.

Not for most, but this 12yo obviously does find it difficult, and there'll be a reason for that. The Dad had had enough of his son and his parenting being stared at and judged.

Why cant he help it? Eating with a closed mouth is not difficult.

This is a great outlook that I will probably use in future.

Where’s the fun in that?

Yeah he was trying to intimidate you. I'd like to have seen him try that with my bald, 6 foot tall brother.
Whst a horrible thing to do. That kid, and so many others with similar parents, has no chance. That man is supposed to be guiding him and teaching him. Not mimicking his bad manners so as to mock you. That's truly awful.

I'm just glad he didn't confront you.

I bet he wouldn't have tried to intimidate you if you were a man. Men don't have to put up with that shit.

We always used to say in the staff room that’s it’s inevitable the parent who defends appalling behaviour in their child will one day be the recipient, that it was only a matter of time. It was true. By year 11 such unsupportive parents came to us for advice by which time we were counting down the days before compulsive education for said child ended. They were stuck with them. Result.

@Chips098 "The father must've seen this because he asked the kid for a sweet, then proceeded to eat it in the exact same mouth wide open manner, staring at me."

The father is a fuckwit. The only thing to do with people like that is to avoid them as much as possible. Sadly, the son will probably grow up the same way.

I was once in McDonald's (I'd been drinking) and became aware of a commotion. A man, with two children with him, had started shouting at a staff member, calling him an unpleasant name. He then walked towards the door, picked up a half-empty milkshake, and threw it at the counter. The children were a girl and boy, maybe late primary-school age. I remember thinking, "That's the example the boy will follow." Depressing, but what can you do?