Strange situation on the train with parent

"Blanketing children with additional needs as incapable of learning and impossible to parent is harmful to his community though. I am talking about the bigger picture."

Blanketing children with disabilities with 'they can all do it if they and their parents try hard enough' is harmful to his community of people with a severe learning disability.

Agreed, though we as a country in 2019 decided that it didn't matter I would argue.

I think the OP could have said something instead of gawping.

Very difficult when they are right opposite you. I don't think you did anything wrong and think they were horrible. Getting up and leaving as some have suggested would have probably given them smug satisfaction.

I wonder where manners have gone sometimes 🤔 😕

I also wonder if the OP had said something to the loud chewing man, but not the child obviously, whether this would have been a good idea? That is to say, would it be a step too far? Or do we need to call out these things every so often?

I've never dared to say anything but I think as I'm getting older and more perimenopausal, I'd be more likely to say "Would you be so kind as to chew a little quieter please?" OTOH, I would be a bit worried about personal safety etc as you never know how someone might react...🫣

Thread adjacent but I actually recall the exact moment when I learned how important it was to eat with my mouth closed.

At my Godmother's (who looked after me 1 dpw) at lunch, when she quite simply said something about it not being very nice. I was a bit embarrassed. Was definitely under 7? 6 maybe...

Point is - never under estimate one single interaction teaching a kid something! This probably wasnt the right time though. Hopefully someone will tell him....

Why’s that then?
We react with disgust to disgusting things.
Why is it on her/us to squash down the disgust at their behaviour??

I think that's the point; if everyone controlled their own behaviour, society would be a great deal better, and being in public would be easier for everyone.

Sorry but a kid that she should know to eat with their mouth closed. Vile

Presumably this is the first time you've ever encountered an anit social scuzzbag OP? You must live in a very sheltered world.

You shouldn't have to avert your eyes from anywhere in public. If someone is behaving like a gross pig, regardless if age, you're allowed to let your gaze linger on them. That sound is so triggering for some too, me included, and all the dad did was reveal why his child wasn't taught manners, because he doesn't have any.

You weren't wrong to look momentarily, the dad was within his rights to behave like a moron and so freedom was upheld that day. It's not a nice interaction but he sounds like one of those people who hardly anyone could have a nice interaction with in public tbh.

I was replying to a response to my original post, where I did actually talk about that as a possibility.

“Obviously we don’t know anything about this specific child, he could of course have SEN that means he can’t understand closing his mouth to eat, he could have a problem with his jaw that makes it difficult or even just a really stuffy nose.”

I was just discussing the posts suggesting SEN was an excuse for lack of parenting.

Thug dad= thug kid in the making.

My grandson as mentioned above does not have SEN he had a medical condition which wasn't diagnosed until he was 13.

Pair of savages

What's weird is the father obviously twigged what the issue was really quickly and decided to copy it. Grown adult acting like a brat.

The father sounds like a prick and ultimately if that's how the child eats, for any reason, maybe have a bit of sense and give him the sweet when you get off the train.

Blanketing children with additional needs as incapable of learning and impossible to parent is harmful to his community though. I am talking about the bigger picture.

There really are some utter morons in the world and not talking about the kid. What a horrible father and so it will continue.

You have assumed that. The truth is far more likely to be that the man has no manners, eats badly hence the kid being the same. The fact he looked at you doesn’t indicate he was deliberately doing anything. That gives him far more credit than he deserves, probably.

You likely had your justifiable juddgy face on and he decided to be a dick about it.

Don't give it another thought.

"Saying ‘maybe they have SEN’ as an excuse for horrible parenting puts children with additional needs on a back foot and lowers the general expectation of what they can do. Sorry for the rant 😅."

People saying that makes no difference to my disabled son's life.

well he should have been judged.

So a bit of an arse bringing up the next generation of arse. They really are not lonely enough.

How unimaginative. That's how diagnoses get missed.

Have you heard this saying:

"When you hear hooves, think horses, not zebras"

I might not be poor behaviour. It might be a number of medical reasons (not excuses) as described above.

yes, @LilacRobin I understand that.

No-one would blame your friend if she muttered a quick "sorry about this" and she might very well do so.

Those who can't help it would be happy to do that. If they stand on their dignity and refuse to offer a quick acknowledgement then they can expect dirty looks!

I would want to say something because it would mark me out from The Great Unwashed who do it just because they can!

If someone muttered a quick apology, I-and I'm sure most of us-would say something along the lines of, "Don't worry" or "It's ok."

It makes life more pleasant for all of us.