Strange situation on the train with parent

😂 😂

All of this would have been avoided if OP had smiled or made a bit of conversation.

You enjoying that sweet young man? You having a good day?
Father would have warmed to you then and thought how nice you were?

Some humans have no idea how to react and interact and because of that it ends up like this.
Life is much better when your nice.

Horrible you experienced that, but lesson learnt, staring from even a moment longer 5”than “usual” has led to a belief you were judging his child, you are a stranger so he didn’t want you to be doing this. Same as you didn’t want him eating in that manner.

Cutlery for pop tarts? 😮

Both totally wrong.

Instead of staring why not talk to him in a friendly way then you wouldn't get the response you got.

All you would have had to say, " Sorry about this. My son has a disability"

Your son's disability does not give you an excuse to think everyone should put up and shut up and that you have to give no explanation.

If you choose not to take the stick out of your arse and not give an explanation than you expect-and should have-disgusted reactions.

My reaction to you calling me rude or as you say, copying his behaviour, would very much depend on the mood I was in, as you put it. How disgusting of you to think you could sit there too with your mouth wide open masticating.

Foul.

Sorry for not seeing this sooner, it doesn’t notify me unless you quote my post directly.

Did you read the full original post or just the TLDR? There was a crucial part where I mentioned the fact that we don’t know anything about that specific child and the many possible causes for the behaviour including severe disability, jaw problems and blocked nose. All very valid reasons.

I never once suggested that if parents try hard enough they can all do it and I didn’t make blanket statements. I was simply disturbed by the amount of people here that suggested that SEN generally was an excuse for poor parenting.

Nobody would assume a child with profound learning disabilities should have good table manners, because that is not in their capacity. However the majority of children that fall under the SEN label are more capable than people here seem to think.

This is something I have noticed in a professional capacity over many years. I empathise with your situation, and your feelings towards my post, but I wasn’t talking about children with profound disabilities and tried to make that clear.

Snap - I read that article this morning and it also came to mind for me when reading the thread. Feels like some men are becoming worryingly emboldened. Certain political developments make me worry this is only going to get worse.

That absolutely sounds like misophonia (I have it to). The urge to copy the noise as a way of dealing with it is very strong.

I'd probably have done the same as the dad. Or spoken to you directly to point out your rudeness. Depends what mood I was in.

DS had a jaw alignment issue for his whole childhood. He was only allowed surgery for it as an adult.

If you'd been judging my child for his disability, I'd have stuck up for my son.

It’s interesting that the man knew why you were looking without any words being exchanged. It does make me wonder, like others, if his son had SEN and he was being a bit defensive. He might be fed up with what he sees as people judging his child.

I would have really struggled with this. I’m pretty sure I have misophonia as I feel absolutely murderous at the sound of chewing. That is no exaggeration. Well, not much of one😆 And there are a number of other noises that make me angry, like dogs barking and cutlery scraping. My sister used to eat noisily when we were children and I used to copy her to try and get her to stop. Looking back, she may not have been especially noisy. She was just unfortunate enough to always be sitting beside me!

I wonder if the child had SEN but either way I’d have moved as I can’t stand hearing people eat. Also my face ALWAYS shows what I’m thinking!

Even just reading that has made me angry! I cannot stand people chewing loudly and would have had to have left the area.

Pair of grotty bastards. Not sorry.

all sounds a bit weird

Its hard not to look at someone when you are on the train, especially if they are making a lot of noise & looking for2 seconds longer than you should isn't a crime. Sounds like the dad was trying to make a point but possibly it would be better if he used words.

Yep - I wonder why he was being judged?

Why should she? The boy had no manners, and it’s clear where he gets it from. Are we in some kind of race to the bottom, where in a public place one should no longer show consideration for the people we’re sharing a space with?

Well with a father like that it's not surprising the child eats like a pig!

This article resonates with me, especially the bit below. Do these men (who are strangers) know that their rage affects women for life, that it's not just forgotten in a few hours?

“Don’t let that prick ruin your day,” a woman said, after the incident. She appeared – and it is always a woman – like an angel to offer support and solidarity. But it did ruin my day. I walked around feeling heavy, ruminating on how anyone could behave like that, how he could break the social contract so completely.

And the next time I go out alone, on a weekday morning, I assume the brace position. I feel the threat of violence just under the surface. I carry suspicion with me. I wonder what my next encounter with a stranger will look like.

Worth reading this piece in today’s Guardian about male behaviour in public spaces. It’s exactly the same sort of aggressiveness as in OP’s story.

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/feb/17/men-push-abuse-women-street-stranger?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

Are you sure it is anything to do with you? It could be that the dad eats with his mouth wide open and the child has learnt it from him

So it your child was picking their nose on the train, you would too?

Adult in charge of boy was bizarre and passive aggressive.

They do (and in the examples I'm thinking of, they've been more likely to use physical violence against a man in the same situation. Not that I'm saying I've never seen mums threaten to use physical violence against other mums at soft play if you politely ask them to stop their little darling bashing other, younger children while they're invading the toddler play area; I have known this happen a lot too!). Worse, if people behave like this, they're generally doing far worse at other times, like the parent who let their daughter bash the plane seat in front, even though the passenger had a spinal issue which made it agony for the whole flight.
Some posters are saying they try to stay away from stuff like this egstay off public transport/swimming lessons etc, but these kids are going to be sharing edication/health facilities with yours, so you can't avoid them completely.

Father was wrong but so were you 🤷🏼‍♀️

Yes… the boy was being judged because he has an arse of a father.