Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Strange situation on the train with parent

260 replies

Chips098 · 17/02/2026 08:40

It's not a massive deal, just slightly odd from the (presumed) parent. I was sitting opposite a boy who looked around 12 and a middle aged man.
The boy was eating sweets with his mouth wide open, I know some children don't always eat with their mouths closed, especially toddlers, but the noise it was making was so loud and it was like he was opening his mouth for the dentist every time.
It wasn't nice manners really, I know it's not my child or my business. I probably looked at him a second longer than I should've done, I didn't have any earphones to put in and train was packed out.

The father must've seen this because he asked the kid for a sweet, then proceeded to eat it in the exact same mouth wide open manner, staring at me. I understand i shouldn't have looked at the kid but the Dad knew what he was doing, and I found it a bit intimidating. Does this sound odd or was i in the wrong?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Ginnysmurf · 21/02/2026 22:13

Maybe this child has some type of intellectual disability and the father ia sick of his son being stared at in public so he chose to react in an in appropriate in dealing with the situation . You just never know what people are really dealing with but it's easy for people to pass judgement with a quick glance.

SBGM247 · 21/02/2026 18:42

Chips098 · 17/02/2026 08:42

He's just a kid I know, but the man was deliberately trying to intimidate me/make a point and that disturbed me a bit.

As I'm a Man, if he's done that with me I'd have told him to close his f**king mouth. And I'd have looked him in the eyes while doing it. And he'd have shut up. What an unpleasant person.

pestowithwalnuts · 20/02/2026 04:44

Chips098 · 17/02/2026 08:42

He's just a kid I know, but the man was deliberately trying to intimidate me/make a point and that disturbed me a bit.

Just shows the low level of his intelligence

Snakebite61 · 19/02/2026 11:01

Chips098 · 17/02/2026 08:40

It's not a massive deal, just slightly odd from the (presumed) parent. I was sitting opposite a boy who looked around 12 and a middle aged man.
The boy was eating sweets with his mouth wide open, I know some children don't always eat with their mouths closed, especially toddlers, but the noise it was making was so loud and it was like he was opening his mouth for the dentist every time.
It wasn't nice manners really, I know it's not my child or my business. I probably looked at him a second longer than I should've done, I didn't have any earphones to put in and train was packed out.

The father must've seen this because he asked the kid for a sweet, then proceeded to eat it in the exact same mouth wide open manner, staring at me. I understand i shouldn't have looked at the kid but the Dad knew what he was doing, and I found it a bit intimidating. Does this sound odd or was i in the wrong?

I'm afraid you just sat next to a scumbag family. Forget about it.

Plumnora · 19/02/2026 09:16

HowBizxarre · 19/02/2026 03:37

Is that what I said? Or did I say

Oh give over. I'm autistic and my kids are too,even my dyspraxic SPD autistic child knows to eat with his mouth closed
What happened on the train was not SEN. It was rude people being rude

Why make things up to get a dramatic response? I notice how you didn't reply to the previous post you tagged me in, but tagged me in this one with somthing you made up?

Show quote history

I didn't reply to you because it looked (to me) as though you were deliberately trying to provoke a reaction.
Point proved, I think.
Have a great day.

Miaminmoo · 19/02/2026 08:12

Chips098 · 17/02/2026 08:43

I understand the father probably felt his son was being judged.

Yes, and it will keep happening if he keeps making his son feel like his behaviour is acceptable and encourages him to do things that are not polite and deliberately rude. His son will end up in all sorts of unnecessary situations if this is the attitude he’s teaching him. Poor kid.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 19/02/2026 04:51

HowBizxarre · 19/02/2026 03:37

Is that what I said? Or did I say

Oh give over. I'm autistic and my kids are too,even my dyspraxic SPD autistic child knows to eat with his mouth closed
What happened on the train was not SEN. It was rude people being rude

Why make things up to get a dramatic response? I notice how you didn't reply to the previous post you tagged me in, but tagged me in this one with somthing you made up?

Show quote history

Honestly, so what? Your experiences and abilities, and those of your children, have absolutely nothing to do with how someone else's should be. Give over, indeed.

HowBizxarre · 19/02/2026 03:37

Plumnora · 18/02/2026 22:22

I agree the dad's reaction was totally unnecessary.
I commented a while back saying exactly that. I also mentioned my own DC's eating habits.
This comment was in response to @HowBizxarre stating that she's Autistic and knows to eat with her mouth closed so therefore Autism isn't a reason for the kid to be eating with their mouth open.
And that's just not true. Autistic people vary just as significantly in their habits and behaviours as Neurotypical people.

Show quote history

Is that what I said? Or did I say

Oh give over. I'm autistic and my kids are too,even my dyspraxic SPD autistic child knows to eat with his mouth closed
What happened on the train was not SEN. It was rude people being rude

Why make things up to get a dramatic response? I notice how you didn't reply to the previous post you tagged me in, but tagged me in this one with somthing you made up?

stichguru · 18/02/2026 22:38

I have cerebral palsy. I eat with my mouth closed more easily now, but at 12, it was meant chewing very slowly, while giving 100% of my concentration to chewing. It made meals take ages and be exhausting. Maybe the father knew the child was trying his best, and wanted to stop you being rude and staring at him. OR maybe they were both just dicks - who knows!

Pinkissmart · 18/02/2026 22:36

KateCroy · 17/02/2026 08:46

Maybe work on not letting your feelings show on your face so obviously?

Why?
Surely the natural consequence of chomping like a cow is to be observed doing it?

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 18/02/2026 22:34

AudiobookListener · 17/02/2026 08:43

Of course you weren't in the wrong. It seems to me that a scummy misogynist is teaching his kid to have the same attitudes. I'm sorry this happened to you.

Unfortunately his is the Great Britain we live in.

Full of idiots. It's a wonder he didn't get his phone out and post it on Facebook.
I feel sorry for his son.

And you were right to post this on GN.
Well Done!

boredwithfoodprob · 18/02/2026 22:24

It’s possible that the child had additional needs and the father didn’t like you staring so was making a point? I agree though, bit strange.

Plumnora · 18/02/2026 22:22

Branleuse · 18/02/2026 21:34

Maybe try get him to not eat on the train then?

Show quote history

I agree the dad's reaction was totally unnecessary.
I commented a while back saying exactly that. I also mentioned my own DC's eating habits.
This comment was in response to @HowBizxarre stating that she's Autistic and knows to eat with her mouth closed so therefore Autism isn't a reason for the kid to be eating with their mouth open.
And that's just not true. Autistic people vary just as significantly in their habits and behaviours as Neurotypical people.

freakingscared · 18/02/2026 22:02

Now we know why boy had no manners . Some people are ridiculous

daleylama · 18/02/2026 21:55

Chips098 · 17/02/2026 08:43

I understand the father probably felt his son was being judged.

Well he got that right. Would've been an ideal chance to correct his behaviour

HowBizxarre · 18/02/2026 21:53

Plumnora · 18/02/2026 20:16

And yet, as I mentioned in my earlier comment, my autistic, 23 year old DC has always eaten this way, despite daily reminders that other people find it unacceptable.
It's not a one size fits all and you of all people should be aware of this.

Edited
Show quote history

I don't recall reading or commenting on your comment? The dads reaction shows it was an obnoxious thing and not SEN

Branleuse · 18/02/2026 21:34

Plumnora · 18/02/2026 20:16

And yet, as I mentioned in my earlier comment, my autistic, 23 year old DC has always eaten this way, despite daily reminders that other people find it unacceptable.
It's not a one size fits all and you of all people should be aware of this.

Edited
Show quote history

Maybe try get him to not eat on the train then?

Plumnora · 18/02/2026 20:16

HowBizxarre · 17/02/2026 23:24

Oh give over. I'm autistic and my kids are too,even my dyspraxic SPD autistic child knows to eat with his mouth closed

What happened on the train was not SEN. It was rude people being rude

Show quote history

And yet, as I mentioned in my earlier comment, my autistic, 23 year old DC has always eaten this way, despite daily reminders that other people find it unacceptable.
It's not a one size fits all and you of all people should be aware of this.

AxolotlEars · 18/02/2026 20:02

KateCroy · 17/02/2026 08:46

Maybe work on not letting your feelings show on your face so obviously?

I've been trying to do this for fifty years...any tips? 🙂

GarlicBound · 18/02/2026 19:43

Shadeflower · 17/02/2026 09:25

I think if a mother had reacted in a similarly PA way to someone "looking a moment to long" at her child's poor behaviour, she'd be getting applauded....

Congratulations on getting in early with your 'misandry' bullshit.

Nope, no adult gets applauded for acting like a dick.

CanIRetirePlease · 18/02/2026 19:36

VainAbigail · 17/02/2026 08:49

It doesn’t sound like the boy was doing it on purpose but obviously the dad was aware that you were watching hence his reaction. Maybe hes fed up on his child being judged for something he can’t help. No one knows for sure.

who is to say the OP isn’t ND and cannot abide the sound of people chewing with their mouths open? I’ve seen half a dozen threads about that!

why does the dad get to judge and intimidate the OP ?

JoB1kenobi · 18/02/2026 19:36

Says everything you need to know about them.

Fiddy1964 · 18/02/2026 19:17

Chips098 · 17/02/2026 08:40

It's not a massive deal, just slightly odd from the (presumed) parent. I was sitting opposite a boy who looked around 12 and a middle aged man.
The boy was eating sweets with his mouth wide open, I know some children don't always eat with their mouths closed, especially toddlers, but the noise it was making was so loud and it was like he was opening his mouth for the dentist every time.
It wasn't nice manners really, I know it's not my child or my business. I probably looked at him a second longer than I should've done, I didn't have any earphones to put in and train was packed out.

The father must've seen this because he asked the kid for a sweet, then proceeded to eat it in the exact same mouth wide open manner, staring at me. I understand i shouldn't have looked at the kid but the Dad knew what he was doing, and I found it a bit intimidating. Does this sound odd or was i in the wrong?

I would have started picking my nose while he stared at me with his noisy open mouth.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 18/02/2026 18:56

My DS sometimes chews with his mouth a bit open because he needs a brace for quite a big overbite but doesn’t have all his adult teeth yet so has to wait.

I would definitely be telling him to chew with his mouth close in this scenario not trying to intimidate you! I would have told him long before you needed to give him a look. He can close his mouth it’s just more difficult iyswim

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 18/02/2026 18:54

You are a very patient and understanding person OP!

You weren’t unreasonable at all. Of course you can look at a kid if they’re doing something anti social.

The dad is an utter dickhead. As others have said this is a micro aggression- a man trying to intimidate a woman because he can.