To choose football over son

A good mother! We are bringing up a generation of spoilt and excessively reliant young people. It is perfectly possible to be a parent and have other things in your life. It's very unhealthy for a child to be the sole focus of its parents.

Erm. She literally said herself that there is nothing she'd rather do than be with her kids. So not really made up is it...

Yes but the double standard is alive and well

Mn is full of posts saying to mothers that it’s ok to look after yourself, take time for yourself, child has two parents blah blah blah!

Yes, I'd be tempted to swerve the performance and make a family day of the football. It will be something the DC never forget (if it happens) and you all get to share something important to DH - novel idea to recognise that what's important to DH is important too, I realise.

Assuming it is one of the clubs for which this is a really big deal.

Im a football fan but family comes first. DH is an arsehole.

Im not a football fan but the rest of my family are. I was lucky enough to go with DH to see his team in the fa Cup & they won. It was a once in a lifetime event & although Im not fussed at all about football, after being at Wembley for his team I genuinely understand why it is so important to true fans to go if their club is unlikely to do it again.

2 of my DC are now adults & they honestly cant remember all the shows, end of term events, sporting finals etc they were in let alone who came to watch them.

If his team get to the final & he gets tickets then he should go - its not a big deal if he misses your sons performance in the scheme of things.

I'm guessing a Leeds fan. They haven't been to a cup final in years!

If it's a once in a lifetime then the cup final There will be other drama performances. Yabu.

Kick off time is 4.30pm.

It would be football in our house. Whole family (including parents and grandparents) follow opposing teams and it is rare in football season that we are all available on a weekend day. The difference is though I suppose that our children all go too to the teams they support so in our case son would swerve his drama thing for the match.

Except the drama show is a big deal. Did you read the OP? Also, it's not as of the father was playing in the cup final, is it? He's just watching it. I am so glad I am not married to a football fan, if I'm honest I despise it as a hobby.

I am not a football fan but my husband is if his team made it i would have no issue him going, he has an interest not an obsession same as he would he have no issue me doing what I want

More importantly our child understands adults have the odd thing they choose to go as we

Yes, I think actually that's probably healthier from a parent, although it is a shame two such big things (might) coincide.

I find life is much easier to deal with if you don't worry about thing that might happen.

Wow! I think you are making up your own scenario here. Where has the OP said she doesn’t have anything in her life except her son? What a really wankerish comment.

I can't believe the number of people saying that he should go to the football. What mother would EVER prioritise her hobby over her child in that way?

I agree. Even though I suspect this will be an unpopular response.

I think which team it is is really important and if he feasibly has a chance of getting a season ticket. Like a PP says, if his team is Man City then it’s not as big a deal as if it’s Port Vale. I’m a season ticket holder for a PL club so I get how important it is, but we are an entire family who plan around football fixtures both playing and watching and I know that not everyone gets it.

Also how does your DS feel? My DS isn’t bothered if I go to watch his away matches but some of his team mates care deeply about it.

It's very easy to give the expected answer to a hypothetical question that will never happen 🤣

Maybe he wishes you had more in your life than just your child? You can be a perfectly good parent and have a passion for something alongside it. It's not wrong for him to have a passion for something and it's not wrong for you not to have a passion for something, it's just different. He would be just as unreasonable to criticise you for not having something else as you are to criticise him.

I have never commented on any post on mn before. I asked my husband (a football supporter) this question. For context we don't have kids. He said immediately he would watch his sons performance. Didn't even think about it.

Firstly it’s a bit silly to worry about this when it probably won’t even happen.
Secondly, would your son actually care? What if a grandparent or Aunt or uncle went instead.
My husband would have probably chosen the football in this situation but was otherwise fully engaged as a Dad. It wouldn’t have bothered me and, far more importantly, it wouldn’t have bothered my kids.

My DF is like this. He prioritised work over going to my HS graduation. Now I just don't bother with him except to say hello. DM was almost as bad and we came behind tv/gym/shopping.

She's currently whining we won't take them on holiday with us & why we don't invite them places and why DB rarely visits.

You reap what you sow. I just don't see looking after them as important - neither does DB!!

We’ve always been as long as one of us is there it’s fine
but also it how it’s out to the kids as well soon as they pick up the vibe you think DH is wrong they will buy into that

I’d go to the match… selfish, maybe.