Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask that my nephews don’t come

386 replies

Littlebitofthis1 · 16/02/2026 18:58

My niece is going through the usual hardships that many teenagers go through at high school. So for her birthday I decided to organise a girls only afternoon tea, and I invited my mum, sister, and niece to come along with my own two daughters and my son (because I’m on mat leave with him).

However, it’s caused a major argument with my sister (whose daughter I planned the event to celebrate). She is annoyed that I didn’t include my two nephews in the invite. I said for my niece, I thought it would be nice to make it girls only and not have her brothers there now she’s older. Now my sister is saying that she’s not going to come and therefore won’t bring my niece either, unless I include my nephews. She also used as an argument that my 6 month old will be there and he’s a boy. Not sure this is of relevance but I’m paying for the event.

should I include my nephews or stand my groundy daughters are still young but I always intentionally do some special things for just them and me and plan to continue that so I didn’t think I would offend anyone by planning this.

OP posts:
Tableforjoan · 16/02/2026 19:03

I don’t get why people are asking the boys ages?

The girl is a teen she’s likely to not want her 13 year old brothers or 7 year old brothers at her birthday girly treat. I’d also assume she knows her niece well enough.

Littlebitofthis1 · 16/02/2026 19:02

@ToKittyornottoKitty last I spoke to my niece she liked that it was girls only!

@2026Y they younger than my niece but both teenagers at high school. It’s during school holidays but their dad works from home.

I can’t even tell if my nephews would want to come! But my sister has always had an odd attitude to events and will never do anything unless all her kids are with her

OP posts:
PineappleMelon · 16/02/2026 19:02

I think you should have made it just you and your niece. By including almost everyone it does feel a bit like you’re excluding the nephews… just because they have penises.

aWeeCornishPastie · 16/02/2026 19:01

your sister is being a witch

DriveboyDogboy · 16/02/2026 19:00

How old are the boys? Do they even want to come to an afternoon tea or is this your sister protecting?

Lifesyoungdream · 16/02/2026 19:00

What age are your nephews and would they enjoy going for afternoon tea.

Moonnstarz · 16/02/2026 19:00

I think you have overstepped by organising this without consulting her mum.

Star81 · 16/02/2026 19:00

Your sister is being weird . What is the issue with allowing your niece time away from her brothers and a day all about her. A lovely idea by you.

2026Y · 16/02/2026 18:59

How old are the niece and nephews? Does she have childcare for the nephews?

Tableforjoan · 16/02/2026 18:59

Girls event. It if your sister is going to be an arse cancel and at some point invite her for a sleepover and have a girly night.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 16/02/2026 18:59

What does the birthday girl want?