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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think “I speak my mind” usually means “I’m rude?”

59 replies

HonestNotHarsh · 16/02/2026 16:26

People use “just being honest” to justify saying whatever they want with no emotional intelligence.
AIBU?

OP posts:
NeedWineNow · 16/02/2026 17:00

Yes, my late SIL (DH’s sister) could be like this, as was his late mum. Very much ‘I speak as I find’. Made for some trying family occasions as I was always brought up to be truthful but to always consider others at the same time.

60andcounting · 16/02/2026 16:59

A truth that's told with bad intent beats all the lies one can invent.. William Blake..

dreamiesformolly · 16/02/2026 16:58

Absolutely. See also 'I'm direct', 'If I've got something to say I say it,' and 'People always know where they stand with me.' 🙄

BlimeyOReillyO · 16/02/2026 16:54

YANBU

mumofoneAloneandwell · 16/02/2026 16:51

Belle from love island

Sassy Told You GIF by EsZ Giphy World
SandrenaIsMyBloodType · 16/02/2026 16:51

Yes. Gobshites and bellends, every one of them.
I will give an honest opinion IF I am asked for it.
People who say “I speak my mind” mean that they will give you their unsolicited, negative opinions and they don’t want to have to defend their ignorant half-arsed points either. They’re not actually making positive points or dishing out random compliments to make the world a happier place are they? They mean “I will spout whatever nonsense I want, whenever I want and I don’t care what anyone thinks”. Which is lucky, because everyone thinks you’re a twat Brian.

FluffletheMeow · 16/02/2026 16:51

I don't know.

I think there needs to be a way to express ' I say what I mean and I mean what I say'.

So, 'I like your dress' means I like your dress, and 'let's have coffee sometime' means I'd actually like to get coffee. Also, if someone is annoyed I'd like to know, and know why, and that's easiest if they come right out with it.

None of this is an excuse for being casually rude though.

namechangeabc123 · 16/02/2026 16:50

Yes. And these people never like it when other people speak their minds back to them.

ExquisiteSocialSkills · 16/02/2026 16:48

And the mouth hanging open in disbelief if you are ‘honest’ with them.

OriginalUsername2 · 16/02/2026 16:48

Yep. I see that as a huge red flag. It’s not only nasty it’s socially inept.

Teresavonlichenstein · 16/02/2026 16:46

HonestNotHarsh · 16/02/2026 16:26

People use “just being honest” to justify saying whatever they want with no emotional intelligence.
AIBU?

I have heard particularly women use it as a rudeness. Knowingly.
other phrases:
I speak as I find
I’m straight talking
I don’t beat around the bush
I’m not emotional about these things

The worse one was a woman who claimed she had a spirit guide and it was the spirit guide forcing her to say mean stuff. She was vegan and ‘pacifist’ and one of the nastiest people I have ever encountered.

PlantBased11 · 16/02/2026 16:45

100% this. My grandma used to say "I tell it as I find it"
(We used to say "what a rude bitch")

ExquisiteSocialSkills · 16/02/2026 16:43

‘No nonsense’ when the ‘nonsense’ is other people’s feelings and opinions.

Blueunicornthistle · 16/02/2026 16:43

Yes, see also:

I’m entitled my own opinion
I can’t say anything
Not being funny but…
Not being racist but…

As with PPs I have found that the kind of people who feel the need to splatter their “honest opinion” over you don’t react well to any level of dissent.

wawawewa · 16/02/2026 16:41

LeedsLoiner · 16/02/2026 16:33

Similarly people who start a sentence with "with all due respect" which invariably means that respect is the one thing you are not getting !!

Agree, I put this in the same category as posters on here who start a sentence with “with kindness, OP…” I know it’s much harder to read tone and intention online, but I somehow doubt how many of those are truly meant with kindness and how many are just an excuse to be rude!

Fizzink38 · 16/02/2026 16:41

IME, these people are exactly the same ones that dissolve in hysterics if anyone 'tells it like it is' to them. Not so much fans of 'honesty' when it's directed towards them.

Gerbera55 · 16/02/2026 16:40

Absolutely agree! Code for ‘I will always think I’m right, your opinion doesn’t matter to me and I’m rude.’

No offence though.

Snorlaxo · 16/02/2026 16:37

Agree. People who “call a spade a spade” are some of the most easily offended people out there.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 16/02/2026 16:36

I agree, it's just some people's way of justifying their own rudeness. After all, how many 'I speak my mind' people spend much of their time stopping passers-by and telling them how much they love their haircut or complimenting mothers on their children? No, it's ALWAYS negative, but surely, if you speak your mind you'd be 50% positive statements?

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 16/02/2026 16:36

Yep. This is my SIL. We’re all polite at family gatherings but otherwise NC with her. She’s insufferable.

Topseyt123 · 16/02/2026 16:35

It means "I am a rude pillock who has no filter and is best avoided."

QuietLifeNoDrama · 16/02/2026 16:34

100% People that feel the need to state that out loud are usually trying to justify being incredibly rude. Anyone who is naturally honest usually has the ability to do so with a bit of tact

Auroraloves · 16/02/2026 16:34

I agree, a work colleague posted something along these lines on her Instagram story and she is a rude twat too

CruCru · 16/02/2026 16:34

VictoriousPunge · 16/02/2026 16:32

It means 'I'm rude and proud of it.'

Even worse, IMO, is 'I don't suffer fools gladly.'

I mean, where to start? You've not only designated yourself a non-fool, but also the arbiter of who actually is a fool, and their judge and jury.

And what does 'fool' mean, anyway? Someone who might not be particularly clever? Why would they deserve punishment?!

Yes! Anyone who “doesn’t suffer fools gladly” is a massive penis. One who is happy to be really unpleasant to others but is really quite upset when they are unpleasant back.

Thecatandme · 16/02/2026 16:33

Also often find that people like this aren't that happy if you are "equally honest" back to them