How are Grammar schools so much better than comprehensives if they get the same funding?

I have to say that if I was hosting a party for a bunch of 6 year olds and you waited outside our house for 2 hours that would make me very uncomfortable!

I wouldn't ban him from talking to his friends parents if he knows them from playdates or if I am there. But I wouldn't expect him to talk to a random parent on the playground.

But they will! Also, be prepared for your kids to know people you don’t! My DS has always been a talker so will chat to other parents at pick up or at after school club when I’m not there.
There have been times when an adult has acknowledged DS on the street and I’ve no idea who they are.

You’ll find that when your child starts school he gets invited to play dates. There will also be birthday parties and by Year 1 these will be drop off your child and pick up at the end. Of course you can say no, but how will you explain it to him when he asks why his friends are going to playdates and parties at each other’s houses and he is not?

And are you seriously going to teach him that he isn’t allowed to speak to his friends’ parents? How about adult volunteers on school trips and activities- are they banned from interacting with your child too? How is he going to learn social skills and living in a community if he is taught that every interaction must be individually cleared by you?

I also don't think you're as antisocial as you think. You've been chatting extensively with people on here. You're articulate; you respond to people's points. You've taken on new information. You used to do a fairly sociable job, with some success it sounds like.

I read your other thread and I think it gives a lot of context to how you feel about interactions with others. My husband's autistic (he only realised when our DD was diagnosed) and also finds people draining, and needs a lot of time alone to recharge. He does have friendships, generally based around stuff with fairly minimal social interaction (cycling, football) or ones involving inanimate objects like cars. It's a shame you can't ride the horses right now. Hopefully that will be affordable again in future. I have a friend who regularly rode someone else's livery horse and I know her bond with the horse was really special.

However, you never know how children will turn out! My DD is super sociable, despite some social misunderstandings and difficulties from time to time. And actually so is one of my nieces despite her mum also being very limited socially. I think the main thing as children grow up is to live somewhere they can be somewhat independent as living in a rural, isolated place means either the parents have to be very actively involved with kids' social life or they are bored and lonely, especially if they're not close to a sibling.

So actually I think your house/school decision is ultimately pretty important!

You are framing your behaviour as keeping your children safe but all I see is you letting your anxiety and desire to be isolated dictate your parenting style.

All of this is about you with little regard to what your children might want or need. It’s incredibly selfish. You could change this but you won’t.

But the scenario I posted isn’t about you, it’s about your child’s life, relationships, social development. If he’s never allowed to go with his friends and their families he is going to be socially disadvantaged, and that will have a massive impact on his life.

A schoolfriend’s parent isn’t the same as a random person in the street. A neighbour isn’t a random person either. You have information about those people- their names, where they live. You will have spoken with them and have some idea about their presentation.

I won’t keep reiterating the same points but I would suggest you do some research into child development and reconsider your rather unusual views on your kids’ friendships and independence. Your current ideas and plans will do them a massive disservice in their lives.

They absolutely will be - but only if you have equipped them with the skills to be independent. If you make them scared of the world then they won’t.

You have no desire to get to know people so you’re never going to let them out of your sight are you?

But your extreme anxiety around safety will prevent him from having a normal childhood.
Nursery is a bubble. It’s highly controlled and you don’t really get chance to meet parents. The kids haven’t developed proper friendships so play dates aren’t really a thing.
Any activities they do at this age will require a parent to be present.

Once they get to primary school that all changes. They become independent people who are separate from you.
They make friends and want to do things with them
outside of school. Clubs and activities become ‘drop off’ rather than stay and watch. Life becomes hectic and friendships with other parents can really help.

OP - my parents thought it important to send me to the "best school" they could find. My mother was somewhat like you - she didn't believe in making friends or that social interactions were important.

The result is that I have absolutely stellar academic qualifications, but it took me years to build up self esteem and self confidence and ability to interact with others. And, my observation is that academic qualifications can only get you so far. The people getting the top jobs are ones that are very qualified (or sometimes incredibly hard working) but are also good at getting on with people and that have the confidence to push themselves forward.

It is much easier to get academic qualifications later than it is to build up social skills, if you are starting from a basis of being trustful of those around you.

Post primary!!!! That’s ridiculous.
My DS is in the last year of primary and he goes out on his own!

Post primary is secondary school. They’ll be walking/catching the bus on their own by that stage and won’t be needing lifts for ‘playdates’. They’ll just be going out on their own.

What if they walk to the cafe?

What if your son wants to join a club that clashes with your other child’s needs? Simon’s mum can take him and bring him home, or you have to ban him. He doesn’t understand why you won’t trust Simon’s mum, he ends up worried about everyone OR he rebels and the moment he’s big enough he break out and does all the things he’s never experienced without your blessing and against your wishes.

Seriously, please do consider your children’s own well-being and social, emotional, and mental health. Normal social interactions are vital and a healthy part of child development.

i wonder if instead of imposing limits around your kids due to your own fears on every person you meet, you would do better to read some books on child development, so that you can work out how best to meet their needs. Their needs are going to be very different to yours.

I think you need to acknowledge that your idea of safety is quite extreme.
I agree with a previous post that homeschooling would be a very selfish choice and isolating for your children. It sounds like you actively avoid socialising so they will need school to be able to develop those skills and to make wider friendships.

I grew up with parents with this view, we had an incredibly isolated and lonely childhood, it also meant our parents completely failed in modelling positive relationships. On top of that you seem to be planning to isolate your children further by homeschooling, have you just had them as something for you to do, rather than actually valuing them as people with their own needs and desires?