How are Grammar schools so much better than comprehensives if they get the same funding?

I think teachers also have a vocation in these places. DS had a mock oxbridge interview at 8pm on a Sunday night- that's dedication. All the teachers were there for sports fixtures on Saturdays and sport's days. I think they were just very committed.

PTA work really hard and around half of the students are from prep schools so I guess we are very lucky. Students also raise money via “house” system and compete which house raises the most for school or charities of their choice.

School reports are detailed and excellent, and parents are regularly kept up to date with their DC’s progress outside of reports via the school app. I really can’t fault the school.

How is all this funded? Do parents have to pay a "voluntary" contribution?

Agree. My DC’s superselective grammar has over 150 clubs throughout the week - be it sport, music, art, subject specific… it’s endless. Run by teachers and students. My DC’s engineering club supervisor ran it almost every lunch and after school leading up to the competition. They do really well in regional school sports matches too. Just incredible

I have to say my experience with my son's school was the complete opposite sooo much enrichment activity and sport. So much more than friends with DCs in comprehensive schools.

yes clearly. I have friend’s with children there now and also looked around it for my older child

… because grammar schools get the kids that are either most intelligent or have invested parents who paid loads for their kid to be tutored through the 11+ and who emphasise education to their kids. This = better grades and better behaviour and parents willing to pay voluntary donations. And that means the money they do get can be put to different use (less behaviour interventions, less pastoral need, less SEN in most cases).

Surprising. I found my child's grammar in this very area had numerous extra curriculars and ways for children to further themselves. A lot more exposure to the world etc.

You know times have changed since you went to school?

I went to a grammar school on Essex/ London border and wouldn’t recommend that to anyone. It was awful. Gets good results because pupils are clever obviously but none of the extra curricular enrichment that my daughter’s comp has. I’d rather she gets a good education AND is a well rounded young adult who gets to explore her interests and passions.

@Karma1387 Why Essex? Far more grammars in Bucks. Not sure what your budget is but mid Bucks isn’t hugely expensive but has outstanding schools.

Tbf I remember fractions when DD was year 3 during Covid.

Talking about halves and quarters started before then but it’s hardly very hardcore!

@Karma1387
Your initial query was on grammar schools then this post has spiralled into so many other things - homeschooling, safe guarding, lifts with other parents.

It's very clear that you have anxiety and that you have sought help for this in the past plus done other activities that helped e.g. horse riding.

You obviously want to keep your DC safe but have extreme ways / views of going about it. Not giving your DC 'normal' childhood experiences based on irrational fear will not help your DC in the future e.g. not letting your DC have lifts with school mates to parties even if they are in KS2.

It seems to me that by not working or having other things going on in your life, all your focus & anxiety is on your DC which in turn is making you obsessed in not letting your DC have normal experiences.

You need to prioritise what's most important to you.

From what you have shared here are your facts:
You live in the fens and the nearest schools to you are substandard
You are not in catchment for any good schools
Your DP earns £50k and has family in Essex and went to a good school
You had a career but decided that raising your DC was more important

To be blunt, moving to Essex in catchment of a good school will be unlikely unless you move to a small 2 bed flat on a household income of £50k.
If you want to move to a good school area and you remain as a SAHP, you will probably have to go further north.

You say you hate your area. My advice would be to decide where you would like to live and whether you can afford it with just DP working. If you can't, but it's really important that you move there, your DP either needs to earn more or you seek better paid employment.
Deciding on an area to move to OR deciding not to move will help guide your next steps.

There are various apps you can look at e.g. locrate, Good schools guide, The times schools guide etc.

Because they are selective! Mine go independent and there are lots of SEN kids here. Most of these children just wouldn't get into grammar schools. Kids get tutored for years to go grammar, you need to be super bright for London grammars. Much less disruption too as most have taken an entrance exam to go there.

Not many people do have super-rich grandparents but it was worth a try!

It sounds as though you have agreed the next step- and it's a sensible one. Primary schools are wonderful and inspiring places, creative, and full of energy. I do hope your visits to some in your area will help you clarify what would work for your son and the he will enjoy seeing big children having fun in their classroom. As he goes to nursery, you already have a good start. Good luck : - )

Yours is such a common dilemma - you want a great school but you can't afford a house in a great school catchment area. That's life for so many people.

I reckon your best bet is to move to a place with a good comprehensive. It will probably be a nice place to live too. Speak to a mortgage adviser about how you can make this happen.

Your plan to move to an area where you don't know anyone, which has poor employment prospects, and to then rely on your children getting into grammar school is way too risky imo.

I remember this too, no I wasn’t the one asking and in some cases the schools even volunteered the information. They all said they had a few, those with the higher ( still not very high) numbers going on to grammar school tended to be the ones in more affluent areas. Whichever school DC went to, by juniors everyone had worked out school were taking the credit but the kids going to grammar school also had tutors ( some from year 2!)

To be fair to the OP, who certainly does have some extreme views about the future lives of her children, I have had parents ask me about school 11+ success rates when coming for a Reception day open morning, so she isn’t alone in planning ahead( and this was at a bog standard state primary)

It’s actual insanity that this grammar school thread is centred on a 2 year old.

The thing is with car seat is the whole when they go forward facing etc

but once it becomes a potential thing they are at least 5/6 before it becomes an issue and then by and large I would expect a conversation and a high booster seat to be handed over

you are worrying far far too much about things that are going to simply not be an issue when the time comes

@LlttledrummergirI When I worked in education, we often had parents of babies asking us about school catchments. No www then! However it’s not new to plan where you want to be if you cannot afford private. Where I worked, we had several brilliant primary schools and, 30 years on, they still are! They are still excellent and sought after. There’s no way dc can rock up and get into one of these. No one moves! It’s inevitable people with babies check out housing within catchments.

Ah, my misunderstanding about your house. How about grandparents funding independent schools rather than leaving their estate to you and your DP, something grandparents do if they can afford it? Or you working full time so your income funds school, or is invested for secondary? You say your partner's salary is your majority income at the moment so that could be an option. Based on the information you have given, I'm struggling to see how the state system can give you what you want, hence these more 'out if the box' ideas.

As your views are extreme, would it be worth investing in some time with an education consultant in case there are options you haven't considered eg leaving the UK? I have three godchildren brought up in Sweden, for example, where many schools are small and informal, and they don't start until they are six. That would give you 3+ years to research, visit the country, look at schools, think about jobs and apply for a work permit. Denmark has a lot to offer too and is very child-centric and safe - babies left to sleep outside shops in sub-zero temperatures etc. Most people in Scandinavia speak good English so you could get away with learning only the basics of Swedish or Dsnish.