Pros and cons of living in the countryside

I live in a small village that has no centre so no shop or pub or GP surgery etc - they have to be driven to. But we have a train station in the village so it’s an 18 minute journey into the city. If I couldn’t drive or the car was off the road I coukd still take the train to the next village if I needed to visit the GP. Tesco deliver. Broadband’s not great but usable for streaming etc. Phone signal is poor.

Ideally I’d live in a village with all facilities within walking distance and good transport links with accessible countryside.

The best place I lived for dog walking was an army town that owned huge stretches of land that was open to the public unless red flags were flying and they were shooting. No livestock and no public footpaths alongside fields of crops. No one but dog walkers used to go there as others preferred the local managed country park so it was acres of ancient woodland and gorse where the dogs could be off lead and you rarely met another person because there were so many access points. It was a shock when we moved to a more rural area to find our access so heavily restricted by private landowners.

We used to live fairly rurally and then moved to a tiny housing estate on the edge of a small town when my kids got older. I much prefer living closer to the town, but living on the edge of it means I have the best of both worlds.

I feel like there were way more cons, and cons that I found difficult to live with rather than just mildly annoying, than pros when I lived rurally.

Having to drive everywhere - school runs, pub, to pick up a take away/no deliveries. Couldn’t just nip to the shop when we ran out of milk, no public transport. All those dog walks in the countryside - yeah, I had to drive to them anyway as there were no public footpaths in easy reach of my house. Kids couldn’t play out of knock for friends, as they became older I was driving them everywhere too. Stuff like learning to ride a bike - nowhere particularly safe to do so, had to drive them to parks and stuff like that. No park in walking distance. Our road had no pavements.

I wouldn’t move back rural again. Living on the edge of a town gives us the best of both worlds

Older houses mean more draughts, more maintenance and often more cleaning. Unless it's been ripped out and refurbished. So higher costs. It doesn't sound much different refurbished transport to were you are now. The rest sounds good, especially if no change in GP etc.

I think a lot of the cons can be eradicated with being prepared and budgeting the running costs

for example- we have power cuts so we have a charged up power bank we have for camping but it is amazing in a power cut. Just being able to cook dinner using the microwave or toaster is amazing. Also being able to watch tv helps toO

having charged up wireless lamps is also really useful

electric cars are not a good choice in the country if you don’t have solar panels- the power cuts stop the charge and you are often not legible for lower smart meter tariffs because you live remotely

septic tanks - getting regular service and upkeep is essential

distance to gyms etc- a home gym is a great investment but you can also get a gym next to work etc which cuts commute time

there’s a lack of traffic which makes travelling quicker so 22 miles is often 25 mins

you become very pot hole aware and change your driving position for this

socialising changes - your local pub becomes your local and you can meet people easily- likewise you may find you host people instead of going out more as people will always want to visit

for teenagers you may also find you share the driving with other parents and take turns in hosting
there’s no drinking really in my daughters group or drugs, they are more Pilates and matcha lattes these days - loads of young people jus don’t drink

you pack your car like it’s an apocalypse and have food / kit / drinks / hoody’s so once your out you ge everything done- for example I take my daughter to an mma gym a 40 min drive away in Manchester and I also train there, but we will also shower / grab a coffee etc and go the shop if we’re early so only one trip out instead of multiple

high school will out a bus on for you- college won’t but we have found a way round it sharing lifts and joining a local gym I can drop dd1 off on my way to work and she goes the coffee shop there after to do her homework

tripple glazing is amazing and blocks out any noise

It entirely depends on the children and their friends/hobbies. Is there any bus service where you are moving to that they can use?

I have 3, and between them we were driving them for hours every day. The round trip to school every morning was 50 minutes. 2 were able to get a bus home but one wasn't. After school activities added extra pick ups and as teens, evening clubs with late pick ups (10pm) meant that most evenings I had to drive late on so could almost never have a drink. With 3 going to different activities on the same days it was a logistical nightmare. One evening a week I left for the first school pickup at 3.15pm and apart from a hobby of my own which lasted 1.5 hours, I was picking up and dropping off children until arriving back home with the last of them at 9.40pm. Normal was 2-3 hours a day. My kids may have been more demanding than most with competitive sport, training and other activities that needed commitment. But then you add seeing friends (which actually didn't happen that much) and part time jobs when they reach 16 that you have to ferry them to/from it really adds up. We agreed because moving was our choice and we knew this was time limited until they learned to drive, but it was a very hard 5 or 6 years. And it would be rubbish for a teenager who can't get anywhere unless you drive them, if you refuse to do so.

Lots of the things people are listing as cons of countryside living really don't apply to all or even most countryside locations. For a start, train stations and buses do exist in the countryside. Everywhere doesn't constantly smell of manure. I definitely prefer countryside smells to city smells! The cleaner air is one of the benefits. My phone signal and internet connection are actually better than when I lived less rurally. People are complaining about travelling 30 mins in the car, but when I lived in London, travelling on packed tubes was way worse and often took ages.

Ok fair enough and point taken!

having grown up in a city, and brought my own children up in the country (not entirely by choice) i would say don't do it. it's great until the kids are about 13 but after that it's a long round of taking them places, even the one bus to school, in the nearest town 10 miles away, was completely unreliable. ours all learnt to drive the second they turned 17 but that brings its own headaches too, with cheap cars, expensive insurance and fretting about them driving along deserted single carriageways at 60mph in the pitch black.

there's nothing like a bit of independence as a teenager, i loved being able to hop on the tube to meet my friends or go shopping, and i wish mine could have grown up in a city or big town.

^ this.
My friend's parents moved a couple of miles when we were about 17. About a mile of that was a winding narrow road with no pavement, walkable verge or streetlights; despite being about 2 miles from a train station, it really wasn't very safe to be walking home on dark evenings/early mornings so they were picking up/dropping off to and from the station a lot.
They paid for his (& later his siblings) lessons, insurance & first car in the end.

I live in a village that’s not too far from a town. Still has only one bus an hour although Uber has arrived. Recently people from the town came and covered our village with flags, non of them locals, consequently the (previously pleasant) village community has fallen apart. If anyone comments on the flags they are immediately told they’re a ‘traitor’ and ‘unpatriotic’ (by the town people). Feels like bullying. I want to move.

Two important things that I think haven't been mentioned yet are water and sewage.
I live in the countryside and my house has a private well and a septic tank. Both are ridiculously expensive if they go wrong. It would be less stressful if the house was connected to the mains.
The quality of country roads can be bad. This is also expensive in terms of wear and tear on cars and tyres. Kids need a car at 18 so that's also very expensive.

I've lived in my house for 40 years. It's a barn conversion in a small village. No shop or public transport but a village hall with lots going on. School buses pick up and drop off. My DC were brought up here, now adults.
Pros
Great for young children. They can safely go out alone, play on the village field m call for friends.
Actually not bad for older children because you always know where they are. Their friends also live in villages.
Loved having a houseful of teenagers on a weekend.
Walking, nature etc.
You can get anything delivered now, when we first moved here there was no supermarket delivery but my neighbour and I would borrow if we ran out of something rather than get in the car to drive to a shop.
I can drive to a gym, shop, cafe in 15 minutes.
I can be in a city in 25 minutes.
Bigger houses, more space, bigger garden.
We now have super fast bb so WFH is fine
No traffic, no congestion.

Cons
No gas. Oil central heating is fine but I miss a gas hob and a gas fire. We have a multi fuel stove with back boiler and I know people have romantic ideas about fires but they are filthy and greedy.
No mobile signal. You can get round this now with WiFi calling but visitors always struggle.
You have to drive everywhere.
DC in villages all learn to drive at 17 but you still have to take them to stuff, especially once they go to parties and drinks alcohol.
I'm done with it and want to live somewhere I can walk to amenities but DH doesn't want to move.
Mud.
Power cuts.

Yeah, people who have moved to the countryside but then complain about standard countryside matters are VERY annoying. They don’t tend to stay long.

Where do you live or where have(nt) you visited that you dont understand this

Many of these places are on NSL roads with no pavements, narrow, dark, mud strewn at the edge, you cant just get out your house and start walking

There might not be footpaths through the local fields and even if they are, they're unpassable at this time of year

You have to get in a car to drive to somewhere suitable to walk around.

I think pros and cons depend on your perspective. I live rurally in a village surrounded by farmland. My local FB is kicking off about the farmers' bird scarers disrupting the peace and quiet. Someone else has chipped in to complain about the mess when the farmer ploughs his field - they feel he should consult with them first.

For context we live in a village with a pub within walking distance but no shops. Nearest petrol station/small shop is about 6 miles away, supermarket, doctors, dentist 8-10 miles.There isn't any public transport through the village and the nearest mainline railway station is 40 miles away though there is a branch line about 10 miles away. Our DC went to primary school 3 miles away and secondary 20 miles. I'm not sure if you'd see that as "countryside" or not OP. We've hot friends who live in cities wvho think we live in the wildernessand others who live down tracks in houses with no mains electricity who think we have a positively urban lifestyle!
But if you're thinking about somewhere similar to where we live, here's my experience/opinions.

Pros:
Fresh air, open spaces.
Low crime.
Good sense of community. It's a bit "old fashioned" here but we like that. I help run a community event that's been going, with a few changes, since the 1800s and I love the sense of tradition.
Outdoor activities on our doorstep. This is the biggest plus for us because that's our lifestyle. My DC grew up being able to do things after school and at weekends that many other children only do on holiday. I can get on my bike and ride from the front door for hours on quite country roads with stunning views. We can be on our boat and sailing in under an hour from leaving home.
We had excellent schools with small class sizes though appreciate that isn't everywhere.

Cons.
Travel. This is the number 1 downside. You have to travel for almost everything.
Lack of choice can be an issue . We were lucky (or maybe we planned well!) to have good schools nearby but if we'd not liked them we wouldn't have had much option. I had a bad experience at our local hospital recently but it's not easy to go elsewhere etc.
Reduced options for cultural activities. It's not zero - we've been to see some great visiting artists at our village hall and there's a thriving local performing arts scene - but for big artists, exhibitions etc you have to travel.
It's pretty monocultural here. My DC didn't really meet many people from different cultures, religions etc until they went to University.

I think it depends very much on your lifestyle. If you are outdoorsy people obviously you are going to enjoy country life a lot more than if you want to spend yout time in art galleries and concert halls or indeed shopping centres or watching Premiership football. It's horses for courses.

Regarding teens, none of mine went of the rails and sat around the graveyard drinking and taking drugs, and nor did any of their friends. So it's not necessarily the recipe for boredom and disaster that many people will tell you. But I do think you have to be prepared to work hard to facilitate their interests, probably harder than in urban areas. For example, one of my DS's was on his sport's national talent pathway which meant a 250 mile round trip on a school night for us for training, whereas some of the other boys were walking or taking a short bus trip. I think if you choose to move to the country with children you can't then refuse to give them lifts to things and you need to accept that it's going to cost you more time and money to give them some opportunities. (But less for others of course.) We've never regretted it and my DC had very happy childhoods but it doesn't work for everyone.

TBF @SevenYellowHammers I agree re the tractors however I still get places faster stuck behind a tractor at 15mph than driving round Manchester / Leeds / Liverpool!!!

People say you get to go on lovely walks but I have to drive to get there so it defeats the point.

Where on earth do you live which is in the countryside but you have to drive to go on a walk @Tacohill ?!

More spiders/spiders webs
mud
stuck behind tractors
poor internet
no atm for miles , we had one but it was ram raided
countryside crime
board teenagers
one pub in which locals shout
no - or very few bands on
few buses
random pavements when walking back from pub
train fares to London
pot holes
reform / Tory voters
one cop for about 15 villages
only shops are coops or farm shops
abundance of craft fayres, produce shows and other such wonders
smell of muck spreading
horses and horse poo (admittedly I have horses)
need to wear wellies and bobble hats
local humour (sexist, racist)
flags on roundabout
tourist traffic sometimes
dog walkers from town’s parking and blocking roads
20 mph
speed bumps

other than tat it’s great

I live in the countryside and I hate it!

I love the safety and quiet but it’s boring and the worst thing is relying on a car.

People say you get to go on lovely walks but I have to drive to get there so it defeats the point.

I see people in cities and they have loads of hobbies and attend groups. We don’t have that here and I’d have to travel over 30mins to get there.

My job is an hour and a half drive away but I am fortunate that I have a job as they’re scarce.

To go to the closest gym it’s a 20min drive.

There is no public transport.

I would love to live in a small town that has a bus and train service and I can walk to the shops. The trouble is you’re paying for this privilege and I’d have no idea where to move to.
I am waiting on my youngest to finish school and then I’m moving asap.

You don’t seem to be moving too far away from your support system which is good and I’d take an older home over a new build any day.

Worst thing about living in the countryside IMO is having to drive everywhere.

We live in a village, approx 5 miles from a town. We have a pub in our village, a little church and we are surrounded by rolling hills and have one bus each day. Loads of pros to being surrounded by nature. Some of the cons:

• powercuts. Ensure you have a woodburner so if you get a powercut, you always have heat and some way to toast bread for your dinner! You could always get a generator too if this is an issue for you. We have mostly seen these as a bit of an adventure, especially with kids! ENsure you have lots and lots of candles in storm lanterns too so you are prepared for the inevitable!
• transport. Lots of neighbours cycle in our village which is fine for adults but not really safe for young kids. We do have to ferry our kids everywhere. It's not an issue for us as we like driving but I know for others this might be an issue. Our kids are either driven to school or get the school bus that stops at our village pub.
• Broadband. Is fast but not as fast as those in towns experience. Both husband and I work from home and its fine. even when kids are also using the internet but it will likely be slower than you would get in a town.
• Spiders! We do get alot because we bring wood into the house for the woodburner. This is somewhat mitigated by putting conkers in many places each year and during conker season. Seems to repel them nicely.
• Dogs- they are bloody everywhere in the country, likewise their excrement. I love dogs but there are too many of them and lots of irresponsible owners which is the real problem.
• Road conditions- we are the last to get potholes sorted as understandably, the council is prioritising major routes. Likewise gritting in the winter.

we have lived where we are for nearly 20 years and came here when child free, then had our kids here. Never regretted this move and would actually like to go a bit more rural on our next move as I love seeing the seasons change, which you really do in the countryside.

What does that look like for your future teenagers? How independent will they be able to be? Can they go visit friends after school, can they meet people, can they invite people to yours? Can they get a part time job when the time comes? I would be very weary about them staying fully dependent on you as the driver. Will you be dragging your 2 year old everywhere so you can take the teen? If you are considering moving anyway, then why not move to a place that offers a better experience to your teen?

15 minutes away from the school she was going to attend doesn't sound like your life will change too much.

'Countryside' here means an hour to the nearest supermarket

Not sure much will change for you OP

Research public transport - especially college transport as this often is not there

pros:
safety
blissful silence and beautiful surroundings
real sense of community
no light pollution so you can seethe stars
less crime
kids won’t hang out on street corners
no anti social behaviour

cons
you will be the transport
regular power cuts / water cuts
paying annually for bulk gas
septic tanks
severe weather really affects you
distance to hospital etc

however you can live in the country and still be close to cities and infrastructure but that comes at at a cost

I love where I live 4 miles from a popular village on the outskirts of a ciry

Manchester and Liverpool are under an hour away

no public transport though