Pros and cons of living in the countryside

We did the opposite as I grew up rurally and hated being stuck or having to ask for lifts all the time. I could never go out with friends after school as I had to get the bus home, and missed out on quite a lot of usual teenage shenanigans because I just couldn’t get there.

We chose to move to a small town so my kids could walk to school, their friends houses, afterschool classes like swimming and football, catch the bus to the city or the cinema, hang out in coffee shops (and now they’re older, the pub). They are very independent and thankful they can get anywhere under their own steam.

No regrets at all. I think rural is great when they are primary aged but I see my village friends spending their lives ferrying teenagers everywhere and am so glad we don’t have to!

We live rurally and moving here is the best thing we ever did. Less than 15 minutes to the nearest town but we're very organised and food shopping etc is all done in the town we work in before we come home. Children go to school in said town and are dropped off/collected on our way to and from work so it's no big stretch as we would be travelling there anyway. Eldest is a teen and so far we don't have an issue with boredom or having to taxi every 5 minutes. For the moment he is very content to be here and the freedom of being able to use our garden without being affected by other people has made a massive difference. My children can play out without disturbing anyone or being disturbed by anyone, they play basket ball, football, play in the paddling pool in summer camp out and watch films on a projector under the stars, plant their own vegetables.
As far as driving everywhere I can't say it bothers me all that much although of course there is the cost in petrol. We previously lived in a town why by we could walk to most places but to be honest I actually prefer driving as it means I can avoid people more easily!
We do of course get power cuts but again we are organised. We have wood burners for heat and plenty of battery lights/candles etc.
Having no immediate neighbours is absolutely bliss and my mental health has improved massively since living here. Every con is worth it in my own personal experience.

I would say that for many villages you are not only moving physically you are time travelling 50 years back as well - that may well suit you, but I found it a bit of a shock in Derbyshire - wasn’t awfully rural where I was either, but did apply in most areas I got to know. I did adjust and only found how much I’d adjusted when returning to work in a city rather than the nearest town. For me not the best discovery and I was glad to move - as always planned just took a while when you get used to being somewhere and life stuff builds around it.
Despite not being over rural I really struggled with no car to do much with young kids, buses when available spent forever going around all the villages to their destination- and I will never, ever have even a decorative fire again - felt I was in a Dickens’ novel as maid shovelling coke from a coal shed in the freezing cold 🤣 - I was particularly bad at lighting them too for a long while, bless my little kids! But main objection if not reliant would be the dirt of them.
Villages are often quite insular and you will probably remain that newcomer forever.
I think the estate you are on now is different to all this as it’s obviously all new people there in a new place.
I also was surprised at the crime and drugs high levels, particularly as many in the village pulled faces about that big rough city I came from, but some stuff there felt closer and more unnerving to me than anything I’d encountered before - obviously not all villages will be like this. I also tbf, later, didn’t really know of gangs that kids can get caught up in.
Having said all that villages, and including those folk who live miles down a track, do get together to make their own (interesting at times!) entertainment and will help each other in snow, in times of running out of tea - often walking straight into your house to check on you or have a catch up.
It’s Probably clear it’s not really my bag but that is personal and place dependent and I do sometimes still think how nice it would be to have silence/countryside noise and stars, not sirens and shouting (not all the time!) and light pollution! But I remind myself of my reality and now I live near water - 15 mins drive to beautiful countryside and 10 mins walk to a train or national express station that will take me anywhere, along with all the stuff a city can offer on my literal doorstep. Also it’s my background and my normal and I think for many it can be difficult to change those used to ways of living.
I sometimes wonder why folk go on about ‘British culture’ as I found massively different British cultures within 15 miles of each other.
Really hope you do find your happy place OP.

Yes, it is. Pretty much anything your DC do involves a car, and it starts before the teen years. There is no running and knocking up next door to come out and play; playtime involves driving DC to & from their friends' houses. Trick or treating? If you want to do that it involves either driving somewhere for an organized event or driving to a neighborhood to T&T. Sports/hobbies? Drive. School? Drive. Parties? Drive. Now, I do live in a place where 'car is king' and teens get their licenses at 16 so the driving actually decreased for me when they became teens. And we were lucky that we had a 'rattletrap' for them to use so they didn't need to tie up our cars. So although I know that teens driving isn't as common in the UK as it is here, it is well worth it to have your teens get their licenses.

Another thing is if your DC don't enjoy 'country pursuits'. DS2 did and won awards at our local fairs for his poultry. But DC1 was a 'city boy' through and through. Luckily he found music and a group of like-minded kids to keep himself out of trouble until he was old enough to drive into the city for entertainment.

Another thing that stunned us (and this may not be an issue there) was the prevalence of drugs in the local high school. I guess since there isn't as much to entertain kids in the country, they find their own 'entertainment'.

What is your definition of countryside - I live in a town with population of 6K. Someone from a big city would think that is countryside whereas I picture a farm cottage in the back of beyond with nearest shop/pub being 5 miles away?

"I'm looking forward to more nature, open spaces, quiet surroundings, and good views."

Nature is noisy.
Open spaces are noisy.
Farming is noisy.
Good views get built on.

I think it’s ideal when they’re young, now they’re getting older we have to drive them everywhere or for the older two risk that they’ll get lifts with non safe drivers from the class. It’s lonely for them and boring but then a pro is that they’re not in and around town. Nighttime is quiet and lonely and our house is too big. I’d guess we’ll downsize into town when they all get older, fed up of driving and I miss walking on paths!!!

eta in the morning there’s no place on earth like our back garden and night it’s scary😅

Will you have to drive everywhere? Drop off and pick up your teen DD all the time.
No walking to the supermarket?

@sharkstale - what is your definition of 'the countryside' please? From what you said it doesn't sound like the 'real isolated countryside' which I would think of if I was planning on doing that. You're getting a range of replies on here, based on what other people mean by 'living in the countryside'?

If you're only moving about 15 minutes away, by car, it doesn't sound like you are moving to what I would call 'the countryside'? I live in a small town (population around 13,000). We live in an Estate built more than 20 years ago on the edge of that town. Lots of fields and the like and plenty of green spaces to drive to within 10 - 30 minutes of home, but we don't have all the disadvantages of being 'out in the sticks' . We can get some takeaways delivered, we have a couple of small supermarkets and within 20 miles or so of bigger supermarkets which will deliver. We are served by a train between 2 of Scotland's biggest cities ( a basic train stop, not a proper station with facilities and only one line in each direction) and there are buses (but not many and not frequent.)

Would something like that be better, maybe? Or is it somewhere like that you are considering?

Pros- wildlife and birds, fields a minute or two walk (because we're in a wood).
Lots of routes to run and exercise off road - so no heckling!
Teen girls both go off walking (solo) and are into photography and take proper cameras with them.
Village is well served for activities, churches, pub etc.
There's space, no one overlooks our garden.
People say hello if they walk past you.
Our signal is good for mobile coverage.
We're also not hugely far from a town, 10 minutes, so some takeaways deliver!

Cons - public transport is expensive.
Bus =£3/journey and non existent after 7pm.
We have to pay for the school bus to our catchment school despite being more than 3 miles away... Well we don't because we lift share with others, but you get the picture.
Suffolk if you're wondering- you get funded travel to your nearest school which isn't necessarily your catchment school...
You will be a taxi.
Mud. And potholes. And spiders.

I wouldn't want to live in the middle of nowhere, but DH would! I think the plan is to head into the nearest town when we get a bit older.

I live in the country and aren't that keen. It's very pretty but no public transport so have to drive everywhere, I'm not sure how people manage without a car, you need two cars really just in case. Anything you want to do is a drive away, GP, hospital, supermarket, cinema, restaurants. And the wildlife, great to look at but it seems to me that wildlifes mission is to get in my house, huge variety of flies and creepy crawlies, mice, birds falling down the chimney, bats, small deer. It's like Disney is trying to get me.

We lived rurally when mine were teens.

teenage taxi service was significant. I drove them to the nearest train station (20 mins) to get train into the city. I picked up from a different train station near my work.

we often did dinner at McDonald’s or wherever because evening activities - cadets etc - were in the town.

we’d leave at 7:20 and often not get back until 9 or 10. ExH commuted to London and left 5:20am and got back about 8.

not much of a community compared to other villages we had lived in and not much going on at all. We moved there when the kids were pre teens and they never made any friends in the village - they were never there and neither were we.

Being a taxi service is not easy, not just for your own child but potentially dropping friends home as at some point many parents don’t want to drive dc (or can’t due to work schedules). You obviously aren’t thinking really rural as you are saying a 15 minute drive but remember roads get closed and diversions are far longer in the countryside, when my route to work is closed (surprisingly frequently) it’s an extra 10 minutes in driving plus any extra time due to congestion. If there’s no shop you need to add time for nipping out.

my advice when house hunting is ti be a little flexible, edge of a large village or town even with more services and buses can be a good compromise - I can reach the countryside on foot within 10 minutes, the beach is 5 minutes away, I’m able to get off the road and onto paths by crossing the road - might not be a village but my non driving dc doesn’t need lifts and we’ve reduced to one car

I've not found any disadvantages to living in the countryside. If dd needs to go somewhere I'm happy to drive her and know she is safe.

I grew up in the middle of nowhere with parents who refused to be a taxi service - they bought me a motor bike when I turned 16 which was brilliant and I loved it. as soon as I was 18 though I moved to a city.

i’m back in the countryside now and despite the power cuts (weekly), and the fact I can no longer walk to the shops I’m quite content. I have a lovely non dirty wood burning stove, good neighbours and a bus stop at the end of my road. It’s all very peaceful, but I would hate it if I had kids here and had to ferry them around.

We decided to stay in London as the kids go through secondary / 6th form etc... Just feel like the freedom and opportunities are abundant here and the country side they would be cooped up at home all the time.
Friends who have moved to the country all say their kids are on screens all the time when not being driven around...

I lived rurally for 6 years
Cons..
No shop I didn't have to drive to
No public transport
No takeaways that delivered
Neighbours with septic tanks that had to be emptied and stunk to high heaven
Rats and mice in the wood shed
Having to pay in excess of £500 every time the heating oil tank was running low
Stranded in snow (actually I wrote my husband's new car off in snow so never dared drive in it again)
Very, very dark at night
Selfish twat landlords (nothing to do with living in the countryside)

Pros
Birdsong in the morning
Silence at night (unless my twat neighbours had a dinner party)
Log burner in winter
We lived right on the edge of the woods and I'd drive to school through it on sunny days as it was so beautiful
The view from my loft bedroom saw all the way to Whitstable sea (I was near faversham)

I've lived rural/semi rural all my adult life, brought my dds up down a long track in the midde of nowhere (well, 2 miles of lanes to the nearest village) and loved it, though the taxi thing is definitely a consideration! My girls loved it although did miss out on a certain amount of impromptu get togethers in the village most of their friends lived in.

Cons: mud, scary narrow lanes (here at least) which meant it wasn't safe to let dds cycle, high bills and council tax, no services to speak of - no street lights, had to drive out bins to a mainer road, deoivery drivers frequently not even attempting to find us, the odd dickhead farmer neighbour shooting things and scaring the shit out of our dogs (though most were lovely), the prevalence of support for fox hunting drove me mad, drink drivers barrelling back from the pub at night, distance from everything, reliance on cars, flooding/ice/snow preventing is getting anywhere fairly often. Etc. Oh, and lack of mains services = nobody to call when things went wrong! We soon learned who would maintain things like spring water treatment/sewage plants.

Pros: space around us, beautiful countryside, lovely childhood for dds, spring water, lovely community feel (in our tiny hamlet as well as the larger village where dds went to primary school), beautiful historic house that I still miss, glorious views, privacy. Also the space meant we could host a lot - we loved being a house where lots of kids/friends could visit, though that depends on them wanting to drive there and it can get expensive!

Being cut off with relatively ‘normal’ weather narrow country roads flood easily fields spill out and ice and snow doesn’t get gritted or ploughed as rural roads low priority .
Wear and tear on car - pot holes
SUV or 4X4 necessary for ground clearance - my mini had to go !
You need to be confident driver and able to reverse well when you meet the tractor and trailer on narrow road
Driving kids everywhere so no wine on a Saturday night !
Yes to high heating bills
£500 a month for oil and electric in our four bedroomed cottage - one of us works from home and one of us refuses to be cold!
Noise from
lambs and cows
Smells - field injecting and animals often get plagues of flies in our house from
livestock on nearby fields
Farm traffic when silaging or combining .
Not getting post or deliveries when expected
Less choice with supermarkets
less options for a meal out .
No takeaways .
No street lights I love that aspect but my MIL refuses to be alone in our house as the pitch darkness outside really spooks her .
Overall I love it .
My kids all headed to cities after uni though .

When checking out the proximity of public transport, make sure you check the weekend timetables as well. There are many villages round my way that don't have any buses on Sundays/Bank Holidays and buses and trains operate a much reduced timetable on Saturdays.

Also, hay fever: if you move to an area that is predominantly arable farming, any hay fever sufferers in the family may well find it much worse, especially if there's a lot of oilseed rape grown in the area. I got asthma when I first moved to Sussex, never had it in smog-filled Croydon! I was fully acclimatised after a few years though.

Afterthought: reptiles. A snake-phobic friend nearly shat herself when she saw a grass snake sunbathing beside my front steps. Same friend went white and froze when she saw a lizard, I thought she was going to faint. And I've seen 2 adders a few miles from where I live (I've never mentioned this to phobic friend.)

It does of course depend on how rural..

Mobile phone signal can be hit and miss, we have to go through WIFI so if goes down your stuck.
Even with fibre broadband its not always brilliant.

Yes, the pay off is you'll have to be a taxi driver for some years, even fetching/returning DC's friends.

We've no public transport and no shops within easy walking distance...nearest is probably an hour one way on foot.

Even in a car it can take an age to get to any decent shops.

Road closed signs seem to pop up on a regular occasion with absolutely no notice, sometimes no work being done, sending us on miles of out of the way detours.

Glis Glis love houses in country.

There's literally one road in our village, used as the way in and the way out, no pavements, no street lights....The local fields/woods are mud baths in this weather so unless you're a muddy field walker you're not going to enjoy the winter walks.

Some dog owners, which there are a plenty, seem to think dog poo is as much a part of the countryside as a cow pat is.

I grew up in the countryside, no public transport within walking distance and our schools were miles away. Both my parents worked.

Term time = LOTS of sitting in the car.
School holidays = being totally housebound whilst parents worked. LOTS of watching the telly/being incredibly bored. I couldn't go and meet a friend independently until I passed my driving test.

Yes it was scenic and peaceful but teenagers generally aren't interested in nice views. I don't think your kids will thank you.

You can have the best of both worlds if you choose carefully. I brought my teens up in an inner city suburb and to be honest ferried them about anyway for safety reasons. When late teens early 20s and eldest already moved abroad I moved to the edge of small town. To the rear of my property are views of hills, water, geese & ducks, lots of walks straight out of my back gate. To the front every amenity you could wish for all within a couple minutes walk for when i can no longer drive and a railway station 10 minute walk if sons want to go into the city which takes about half an hour (I have no desire to go 🤣).

My kids were brought in a place that had a bit of everything in walking distance. Fields, parks, train station, beach, high street, schools. I could never live somewhere where your only route out your house for amenities was by car, especially when at senior school. My kids could meet with their friends at our house then walk to whatever they wanted to do. The train could get them into a city if they wanted. We had a bit of everything.

Your kids will be bored and moan they can’t see their friends. They’ll lack independence. You’ll have to let them use their screens a lot more to shut them up, and they’ll want to learn to drive a car the second they are able to. Make sure you buy a place with a big drive!