Would I be unreasonable to ask a child to be a bit quieter on their iPad in a restaurant?

There are other ways to keep kids quiet that dont involve ipads Not sure your relationship status has anything to do with it

Trust me. You’d much prefer the quiet, predictable sound of Paw Patrol than you would a 3 and 4 year old screaming and knocking things over. And no, this isn’t a “well you need to teach them to “behave” issue”. A 3-year-old has zero impulse control and cannot simply “sit nicely” in a restaurant. Their brains just aren’t developed enough to know how to do that yet. It’s also not a “well you shouldn’t take them to restaurants” issue. I rarely take them to restaurants, but I’m a single parent and on the rare occasions I do, it’s so I can have the chance to have some lunch out and catch-up with a friend. I deserve a tiny bit of a life outside my children and I don’t have the privilege of being able to leave them with another parent. That doesn’t make me a self-absorbed twat with no consideration for other people. That’s why I bring their iPad! And why I usually bring headphones. It was one occasion that I forgot. So what was I supposed to do? Let my friend down and cancel just because I forgot a pair or headphones? Or not give them the iPad and let them run riot in the restaurant? Cos that would be far less considerate of me

Wow. That’s quite a stretch. You realise you can teach your kids to behave without resorting to violence, yes? It’s not a choice of let them behave atrociously or batter them. Ffs.

Ok..so toddlers having tantrums, their hands being too small to pick up a glass, their fine motor skills not being developed enough to pick up a fork without potentially dropping it is down to bad parenting now?! You clearly know absolutely nothing about small children and/or are from the “they should be seen and not heard” generation. If you once had small children many moons ago, I bet they were terrified of you. You clearly must have controlled them through smacking and physical abuse. If you genuinely think that a 3-year-old child has the ability to sit quietly in a restaurant for over an hour, neatly spooning their food into their own mouths, then you are delusional.

Ok..so toddlers having tantrums, their hands being too small to pick up a glass, their fine motor skills not being developed enough to pick up a fork without potentially dropping it is down to bad parenting now?! You clearly know absolutely nothing about small children and/or are from the “they should be seen and not heard” generation. If you once had small children many moons ago, I bet they were terrified of you. You clearly must have controlled them through smacking and physical abuse. If you genuinely think that a 3-year-old child has the ability to sit quietly in a restaurant for over an hour, neatly spooning their food into their own mouths, then you are delusional.

Ok..so toddlers having tantrums, their hands being too small to pick up a glass, their fine motor skills not being developed enough to pick up a fork without potentially dropping it is down to bad parenting now?! You clearly know absolutely nothing about small children and/or are from the “they should be seen and not heard” generation. If you once had small children many moons ago, I bet they were terrified of you. You clearly must have controlled them through smacking and physical abuse. If you genuinely think that a 3-year-old child has the ability to sit quietly in a restaurant for over an hour, neatly spooning their food into their own mouths, then you are delusional.

Yes. That’s what the iPad is for 🙄 love how people who had young kids a long time ago have a habit of conveniently forgetting just how difficult parenting a toddler can be. My 62-year-old mother tells my 3-year-old to “sit nice” at a table and fully expects her to immediately comply, then is completely shocked when she doesn’t. She then goes on to claim that when I was that age I never had a tantrum, never shouted or ran around in restaurants and all she had to say to keep me quiet and still was “sit nice”. Needless to say, I think she has a bit of a selective memory. Of course I can control my children but why would I want to spend a very rare meal out with a friend running around after my kids, trying to deescalate tantrums, and constantly trying to catch the various plates and glasses that they inevitably knock over (and annoying other diners) when I can use that time to give them some iPad time and keep them still and quiet? Why would I make my life harder and ruin all the other diner’s meals? I did say I usually bring headphones, the example I gave was a one-off when I forgot them and no one batted an eyelid

A friend has a 3 year old who they bring when they see us. They bring a few books and actually interact with her. Don't think I've ever seen them give their 3 year a phone or tablet

That’s a lot of assumptions to make, “you clearly must have controlled them through smacking and physical abuse”. What an appalling thing to say.

Lots of people have parented toddlers without iPads - it’s actually much easier in the long run if you do. iPads/phones are a short term win but create a whole host of problems if they’re relied on to keep children quiet.

Take your children out for dinner and interact with them. Dinner is a social event and a learning experience, when we plug them into screens they miss all of this. Children will never learn how to behave in public settings if they are never allowed to be bored or without entertainment for a short period of time.

Ok..so toddlers having tantrums, their hands being too small to pick up a glass, their fine motor skills not being developed enough to pick up a fork without potentially dropping it is down to bad parenting now?! You clearly know absolutely nothing about small children and/or are from the “they should be seen and not heard” generation. If you once had small children many moons ago, I bet they were terrified of you. You clearly must have controlled them through smacking and physical abuse. If you genuinely think that a 3-year-old child has the ability to sit quietly in a restaurant for over an hour, neatly spooning their food into their own mouths, then you are delusional.

I have a 7yo and a 3yo and both have been taken to restaurants from babyhood. They chat and draw and colour or do activity books that I’ve brought, of course sometimes they say something too loud and I have to ask them to remember to keep voices down or to stay sitting, occasionally something gets spilled, but that’s normal childhood behaviour and they’ve learned how to behave in these places by actually being given a chance to, not by having a tablet propped in front of them the whole time. A 3yo is perfectly capable of eating a meal in a restaurant without needing to be babysat by an iPad, but it requires effort from you as a parent.

The difference is that you want your kids to be invisible and not have to put any effort into entertaining them or have them included in the occasion particularly, which I do understand but that’s still not a reason to disrupt other people. If you don’t have headphones then you should either actively parent them or reschedule.

Actually I have a toddler myself, I just bother to engage with them at mealtimes.

nice personal attack though, I’ve obviously touched a nerve!

Ok..so toddlers having tantrums, their hands being too small to pick up a glass, their fine motor skills not being developed enough to pick up a fork without potentially dropping it is down to bad parenting now?! You clearly know absolutely nothing about small children and/or are from the “they should be seen and not heard” generation. If you once had small children many moons ago, I bet they were terrified of you. You clearly must have controlled them through smacking and physical abuse. If you genuinely think that a 3-year-old child has the ability to sit quietly in a restaurant for over an hour, neatly spooning their food into their own mouths, then you are delusional.

The entitlement!!! If your children are that feral have lunch with your friend in your home, not in a restaurant where other people are also trying to have conversations with their friends.

Stop making excuses for your terrible parenting.

Yes. That’s what the iPad is for 🙄 love how people who had young kids a long time ago have a habit of conveniently forgetting just how difficult parenting a toddler can be. My 62-year-old mother tells my 3-year-old to “sit nice” at a table and fully expects her to immediately comply, then is completely shocked when she doesn’t. She then goes on to claim that when I was that age I never had a tantrum, never shouted or ran around in restaurants and all she had to say to keep me quiet and still was “sit nice”. Needless to say, I think she has a bit of a selective memory. Of course I can control my children but why would I want to spend a very rare meal out with a friend running around after my kids, trying to deescalate tantrums, and constantly trying to catch the various plates and glasses that they inevitably knock over (and annoying other diners) when I can use that time to give them some iPad time and keep them still and quiet? Why would I make my life harder and ruin all the other diner’s meals? I did say I usually bring headphones, the example I gave was a one-off when I forgot them and no one batted an eyelid