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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I’m a mug

42 replies

Toddlerteaplease · 16/02/2026 11:44

Walking past a cafe and a bloke stops me asking for a slice of chocolate cake. So agre to buy him one, then he starts dropping hints about hot chocolate as well. And how it was 15 hours before he got a hot drink yesterday. I should have suggested I get him something from the Tesco across the road. It was rather expensive!

OP posts:
youalright · 16/02/2026 12:18

I have no issue buying food and drink or giving money to homeless people its something I've done multiple times but if you don't want to say no and keep walking.

Ablondiebutagoody · 16/02/2026 12:13

Can I have a tenner please OP?

SweeetFannyAdams · 16/02/2026 12:12

It seems like no good deed goes un-published…

Brewtiful · 16/02/2026 12:07

Toddlerteaplease · 16/02/2026 12:02

I know. I should really. But it is a cold day.

Show quote history

This makes no sense? If you were concerned he was cold why would you initially agree to buy him a chocolate cake? Confused

Screamingabdabz · 16/02/2026 12:06

Oh fgs op, this is where I turn into my mother... If someone asked you to jump off a cliff would you do it? No. So stop being so gullible and an easy touch for chancers. Walk on next time. There are plenty of legitimate shelters and respite hubs for those who are genuinely in need.

SilenceInside · 16/02/2026 12:04

Buying one man some chocolate cake isn’t going to help the general situation if you are concerned about homeless people being cold.

Moonnstarz · 16/02/2026 12:04

Toddlerteaplease · 16/02/2026 12:02

I know. I should really. But it is a cold day.

Show quote history

But the first request was for cake, not a hot drink.

Original poster
Toddlerteaplease · 16/02/2026 12:02

SilenceInside · 16/02/2026 11:56

Next time, just say “no” and walk away. You don't have to respond or engage. If you want to help homeless people then make a donation to a local charity that works with homeless people.

I know. I should really. But it is a cold day.

OP posts:
SweeetFannyAdams · 16/02/2026 12:00

Weird thread.

But I guess if you really must buy chocolate cake for random strangers, that’s your choice 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
Toddlerteaplease · 16/02/2026 11:58

Shmee1988 · 16/02/2026 11:47

Was this a homeless man?

Not sure. He looked fairly unkempt. Though from the way he started hinting at the hot chocolate, I suspect he’s a chancer. Almost suggested he give up
smoking then he could buy food.

OP posts:
SilenceInside · 16/02/2026 11:56

Next time, just say “no” and walk away. You don't have to respond or engage. If you want to help homeless people then make a donation to a local charity that works with homeless people.

Brewtiful · 16/02/2026 11:56

Well yes honestly you sound like a bit of a doormat. You don't owe this person anything just because he asked and the fact the bill was quite expensive for someone you don't even know is quite bonkers.

shhblackbag · 16/02/2026 11:54

Why did you buy snacks you found expensive for a stranger? I just don't understand this. Give him what you can afford or don't engage.

BlueJuniper94 · 16/02/2026 11:54

What is this post? More detail please! Who was this man, why did you feel obliged to get him chocolate cake, was he just approaching strangers?

Moonnstarz · 16/02/2026 11:52

Well yes that was a bit foolish. If you wanted to buy him something you could have offered what you could afford. Not sure why you engaged with him.

CanIRetirePlease · 16/02/2026 11:47

Yes you’re a mug. But it was a nice thought!

Shmee1988 · 16/02/2026 11:47

Was this a homeless man?