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Original poster

Blended families: how to best split household bills?

46 replies

user1469481379 · 16/02/2026 11:39

My partner and I are about to move in together. I have two children who live with me full time, and he has one child who stays with us around half the time.
I will be covering my own child specific costs (clothes, school trips, clubs, birthday parties etc).

We are now deciding how to split household bills such as groceries and utilities. Should we split per head (so I pay more because I have more children), or split 50/ 50 between the adults?

We both earn good incomes so we are not struggling day to day. He has not refused to pay anything, I just want to get clear in my own head what I think is fair before we agree something.

YABU: I should pay more as I have more children
YANBU: split 50 / 50 between adults

OP posts:
fartotheleftside · 16/02/2026 12:52

I think if you're moving in you have to behave as a family. I would split proportionally relative to income.

Shinyandnew1 · 16/02/2026 12:47

You didn’t answer about rent/mortage-is he moving int your property or are you moving into his? How are the rooms shared between the two families?

PrincessPears · 16/02/2026 12:46

Also if you‘re getting no maintenance and you can’t easily afford groceries and electricity for your existing kids, please focus on your career instead of having another baby.

PrincessPears · 16/02/2026 12:40

If and when you get married and try for a baby, you can discuss again, but I think you’d be very unreasonable to expect him to subsidise you and your kids before that happens.

A good salary doesn’t go far these days when it’s supporting four kids and a partner on maternity leave!

Original poster
user1469481379 · 16/02/2026 12:35

Thank you everyone. We are planning to get married and hopefully have a baby together. I do not receive child maintenance, for reasons I would rather not go into. DP has a good income, so we are not struggling financially. My income is sufficient to cover all of my own children’s specific costs, such as Christmas, parties, clubs and childcare, and I will continue to pay for those. I am just wondering about how best to split electricity, groceries and household bills.

OP posts:
ArcticSkua · 16/02/2026 12:14

I agree it depends on rooms. If your DC have a room each, you should pay more. If they share and his DC has their own room, you should pay the same.

PrincessPears · 16/02/2026 12:12

OP other things to discuss before moving in:

  • how to pay for holidays
  • how illness or joblessness will be covered
  • which expenses are personal and which are family (eg car, pets)
  • will you agree budgets for Christmas and birthdays so children are treated equally
  • house rules and whether they’re applicable to all children: screen time, discipline, homework, bedtime, chores
  • if you want another child, how will maternity leave be covered, and what’s the expectation for when you return to full time work
PrincessPears · 16/02/2026 12:08

MrsPenelopeBridgerton · 16/02/2026 12:03

50/50. You’re not flatmates.

And he’s not her kids’ dad, or even their legal stepdad. Money he spends on her kids is at a direct detriment to his own.

MrsPenelopeBridgerton · 16/02/2026 12:03

50/50. You’re not flatmates.

xOlive · 16/02/2026 11:59

50/50.
You’re already covering your own child specific costs.

Bubba2dueJuly26 · 16/02/2026 11:55

I think bills 50-50 but you should pay some more for groceries

GasPanic · 16/02/2026 11:55

I would agree adult = 1 child = 0.5.

So he is 1+0.25 =1.25

You are 1+3x0.5=2.5

So 1.25/3.75 for him and 2.5/3.75 for you for consumables.

EvangelineTheNightStar · 16/02/2026 11:54

You pay more as your using more, also would hope your dc dad is paying maintenance which would be for your dc costs!

FrozenNow · 16/02/2026 11:54

50/50

PrincessPears · 16/02/2026 11:53

You should split a mortgage 50/50 (if joint tenants) because you’d each get half the equity. You should split rent per bedroom.

You should be paying more for food and anything on a meter, but non-metered bills 50/50.

Basically you should each cover your children’s costs.

MCF86 · 16/02/2026 11:51

How do your current costs compare, and will you be saving money by moving in together? .

Housing should be split depending on rooms, if his child has a room and yours share for example, 50/50. If all have their own (or all share) then you should pay more.

THATflowersandheartsbullshit · 16/02/2026 11:51

I'd say 50/50 - if your living as a family I'd behave as one I also feel like splitting other ways could get complicated if say his child comes more often or you have a child together

Shinyandnew1 · 16/02/2026 11:47

More for you, yes. How are the rooms divided? Is there one for you two to share and one each for the children?

What are you doing about mortgage/rent?

Ohthatsabitshit · 16/02/2026 11:43

I’d say 50:50. We aren’t a blended family but just put a set amount into an account for all household expenses.

ACynicalDad · 16/02/2026 11:42

I'd probably do something like half price for kids so you 1+1/2+1/2 and him 1+1/4. so ration 2:1 1/4

AnnaQuayRules · 16/02/2026 11:40

I think you should absolutely pay more as your children will be living there FT.

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