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AIBU?

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People refusing to participate in group discussions

34 replies

TheTealShark · 16/02/2026 11:16

I've been in training in a new role in the Civil Service for a couple of weeks. It's all being done remotely on Teams currently, there are around 20 of us and we're often put into smaller 'breakout rooms' for discussions which we then have to feedback to the group.

The actual role is a customer service based role involving daily telephony. However im finding that people are being a bit childish and ridiculous in the breakout rooms. They're refusing to participate/feedback to the group as the trainers often ask for a 'spokesperson to feed back.

It's a case of reading out a couple of andwers to the group on teams (and off camera) which takes around 20 seconds.
I heard one woman in the office say 'They're asking for a spokesperson and I'm flat out refusing' . I volunteered to do it.

This morning in another group one woman in our group just said 'Nope, it's not gonna be me.' . I volunteered again and I said to the group 'I don't mind doing it as it's really not a big deal, it's only reading out a couple of things."

I know the answer may be to refuse myself but it feels childish, or maybe the trainers should just nominate a person. I just think they should grow up a bit, they're in a role where they'll have to speak to people daily.

OP posts:
angelos02 · 16/02/2026 11:58

The word anxiety is so massively overused and abused to get out of things people just don't want to do. Putting more pressure on other people. I'm not saying anxiety doesn't exist - of course it does, but it is a serious condition and not a word to just throw around.

cramptramp · 16/02/2026 11:53

They are being ridiculous. Everyone should take their turn. I have friends who work in the civil service and the amount of people working there who say they are unable to answer the phones because they are too anxious is also ridiculous.

wanttoworkbut · 16/02/2026 11:48

This is incredibly common surely. People are frightened of being judged, they have no confidence in their answers, they fear they are stupid. And then there are those who find the training and format stupid and patronising.

Ablondiebutagoody · 16/02/2026 11:40

I would apply for a different job. Can you imagine working with that lot? My money is on them going long-term sick as soon as they can

Janeaway · 16/02/2026 11:37

As someone who has been on too many training sessions where we had to split into groups and then feed back, I think I'd like to know more about this training. Would you say it is an appropriate and useful tool? I guess I'm cynical but so many of them that I was forced to engage with were a complete waste of time and an insult to the intelligence.
However, it is also possible that this is a good scheme and you're just being teamed up with uncooperative people.

TheTealShark · 16/02/2026 11:32

HundredMilesAnHour · 16/02/2026 11:31

I’m guessing the trainer is (mistakenly) thinking they’re adults and are capable of figuring out how to take it in turns to be fair to everyone.

They sound dreadful. I don’t envy you. Is this putting you off having to work with these people or will you escape them once the training is over?

Yes I would hope so too. It's insane! As I say they don't even have to do it on camera. Luckily I won't have to work with them at all after training.

OP posts:
HundredMilesAnHour · 16/02/2026 11:31

I’m guessing the trainer is (mistakenly) thinking they’re adults and are capable of figuring out how to take it in turns to be fair to everyone.

They sound dreadful. I don’t envy you. Is this putting you off having to work with these people or will you escape them once the training is over?

TheTealShark · 16/02/2026 11:28

Yes, unless they all collectively have some sort of anxiety which i doubt. One of them is very confident on putting in the chat when she's hungry and ready for lunch! I think the trainer should just pick someone so it's fairer.

OP posts:
HundredMilesAnHour · 16/02/2026 11:22

To be frank, they sound pathetic. Especially if speaking on calls is actually a core function in their roles. Bizarre.

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